American Astrology: Horoscopes For True Patriots

Happy 4th of July! Are you an American? Great! Then I can tell you everything you need to know about yourself, based exclusively on your Sun Sign. If you are not an American, stop reading RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, because this is American Astrology (TM), not Commie Foreign Astrology Shit Crap. Seriously, this is for AMERICANS ONLY. Canada Day is OVER, and other countries don't get their own days, or they shouldn't, if you ask me.

It's simple, really. Just look for your Sun Sign and you'll find all the important secrets you need in order to lead a happier, better life as an American Person (TM). Consider it my metaphysical 4th of July gift to you. READ MORE ON HNTP