American Public Sick of Telling Pollsters It Doesn't Like Sarah Palin

Did you hear there is a new poll out today about infamous white person Sarah Palin and the office of the presidency? There is! "What is this, a day of the week?" you ask. Yes, it is. According to an ABC News/ Washington Post poll ( two news organizations wanted to pay for this dumb thing), six in ten Americans would never even think about voting Sarah Palin for president. So that's nice. But this is the same result that has been occurring for months on end, and yet pollsters still are asking this question pretty much daily, because a news story manufactured out of a poll about Palin running for president is the closest thing they will get to her making a nip slip. And thus the American people are sick of being asked about her in a never-ending Dr. Seuss sort of way.

Will you vote for Sarah Palin?

 No. 

Would you vote for her if she's failing?

 No. 

Would you you vote for her with bailout railing?

Would you you vote for her with lamestream nailing?

 Stop asking me about that woman. 

Would you you vote for her on Alaska whaling?

Would you you vote for her on illegals jailing?

 Stop calling here. Remove me from your list. 

Would you you vote for her, Hillary Clinton prevailing?

Would you you vote for her, Mitt Romney impaling?

 Seriously. Fuck off. I'm not voting for her for president. 

Would you you vote for her if we stopped e-mailing?

Would you you vote for her if we stopped flailing?

 Yes, fine. 

BREAKING: AMERICAN PEOPLE CRYING OUT FOR SARAH PALIN PRESIDENCY

This most recent poll was embargoed until today -- because it might have gotten lost in all the other polls this week asking if the American public supports Sarah Palin for president -- but it was actually conducted from December 9 to 12. So you know what that means: Opinions may have changed since then! Time for a new poll! [ CNN ]