What drove you bonkers this morning, so far? A stale three-dollar bagel with half-defrosted cream cheese? Not having a job at all? Did the cretins next door -- the ones with the tattoos around their mouths and five kids crawling around pooping in the weeds -- stay up all night blasting "Godsmack" and fighting their pit bulls and ripping out the copper piping? Are you oppressed by the banal horror of American architecture? Sickened by the double anus-burger super-size combo you got for lunch yesterday because it's that or Quizno's, every day, forever? While you stood at the pump breathing cancer fumes and funding Al Qaeda, did ABC blast you with some teevee promos, at 7: 36 a.m.? Do you feel like
Certain Americans have mastered this formula for feeling unhappy and despondent constantly: In any group of people/places/situations, overlook the normative, the good and mildly bad. Find the worst possible example of something. Bitch about it to everyone you know, until it seems to you and those listening to you that this worst example is in fact an examplar, and represents at least 75% of the people or places or situations out there. You and those listening to you will now feel very depressed. Those only pretending to listen will be spared.
You have provided the gift of snarky chuckles to many of us, some who may not have gifted you with the up thumb but nevertheless found amusement. There can be no greater gift to mankind than that.
I'm really starting to worry about you, Ken. And also hate you, because you depress me even more than I already am.
In the words of the late, great Lux Interior, "People ain't no good."
It's not the size, it's how you use it, as men have uselessly told women throughout history.
But when does the horse walk in?
high school principals who stand around and watch small female teachers get beat up, as they try to break up fights between larger high school boys.
Certain Americans have mastered this formula for feeling unhappy and despondent constantly: In any group of people/places/situations, overlook the normative, the good and mildly bad. Find the worst possible example of something. Bitch about it to everyone you know, until it seems to you and those listening to you that this worst example is in fact an examplar, and represents at least 75% of the people or places or situations out there. You and those listening to you will now feel very depressed. Those only pretending to listen will be spared.
No worries...they'll just start making Big Macs with extra dopamine.
Why you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?
You have provided the gift of snarky chuckles to many of us, some who may not have gifted you with the up thumb but nevertheless found amusement. There can be no greater gift to mankind than that.
"Will I be able to look at the children I can't afford to conceive with the p-points they will inherit from me?"
I'm afraid I have bad news. P-points are not transferable. They will die with you.
that was brilliant!