25 Comments

You can have a Religious Exemption for your business the minute you stop using "money-changers."

Have fun accepting goats for payment, since that's what was pretty darned valuable to a Bronze Age economy!

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Straight florists are responsible for the abomination that are dyed carnations. Blech!

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Except when we're A Idiot, which is often.

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Sorry for getting all nitpicky, but even if it is the largest tier of the statistical wedding cake, 44% is not a "majority." The proper term for it is "plurality." To qualify as a majority, the percentage would have to be at least 50.1%.

With that having been said, carry on.

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Sarah Palin is a _____ should also work with great precision.

Any answer other than "fucking idiot" calls for follow-up questions.

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"Heritage." Or maybe that's just the modern word for it.

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For that real old-timey atmosphere, they can slso put up a "NO IRISH" sign.

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With pictures of loons on them, they ought to be acceptable at wingnut businesses.

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<i>44% of people with land-line dial telephones are in favor of...</i>

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*scrolls back up to see if they were wearing jewelry*

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To participate in a marriage one must find a member of the opposite sex, or it is not marriage... which everyone is welcome to participate in (barring close relatives). You wish to change the 6,000 year old definition... and we disagree with that.

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Your mom makes a lot of noise too, tell her "The next time that I lay pipe, for her to pipe down". Thanks buddy.

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That's fine. Cake is a carb anyway and we all know The Gays don't eat those.

Oh wait, no. This is ridiculous. If only businesses could just do business by accepting money in exchange for goods/services like some sort of economy.

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Can I get a personal exemption to take the day off? It's not really a religious thing, but it's Friday and the weather here is nice, and I'd rather not do my job and still get paid. Did I mention that I sincerely want this?

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I am a jewelry-making person who sometimes fabricates the wedding and engagement rings for the marrying types. I suppose it's sort of obvious when a gay couple asks for my services (and I love doing gay rings--FABULOUS!), but I've never once inquired if a couple was a wingnut or a fundi-Xtian, because I figured none of that was my business, and besides, who cares as long as the check doesn't bounce? But I guess now everything, including straight-up commerce, has got to be a statement of beliefs and support of political causes, so I guess I'd better start writing up that questionnaire. Any thoughts on some of the probing questions I can ask to weed out the nutjobs?

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