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BoB the TacoɔɒT, Tumbrel Pilot's avatar

"...equivalent of the French guillotine!”

Oh, how I wish! A really fancy French guillotine with cabriole legs, and scalloped carvings with gilded edges.

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David Hendrickson's avatar

Don't forget the basket, and the old lady watching and knitting.

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fuflans's avatar

if this is guillotine time, where are the Girondins stephen miller?

where are the thermidorians, hmmmm?

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AboveTheGrayFog's avatar

"And it tells you the contempt they have for their own voters, their 100 percent certainty that not one of their talking MAGA cow supporters will pick up the indictment for themselves and read it."

And the worst part is that they know their audience well, they are absolutely right. The MAGAs won't bother to believe anything else other than what they want to believe.

And what they want to believe is that their God Emperor is innocent and that the ones prosecuting him are the REAL bad guys. That's why this sort of lying about how Trump is being arrested for "freeze peach" is and always has resonated with them. It's not like they can't acknowledge the truth, it's simply that they don't want to.

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Amezed's avatar

Haha, I read that as "Derp State." Brilliant post, Evan. Thank you!

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Boojum's avatar

A conspiracy requires an agreement between two or more persons to commit a crime, plus an overt act in furtherance of that agreement. Every agreement, ever, was reached through speech of some sort. The fact that a conspiracy to commit a crime involves speech doesn't make it protected by the First Amendment.

Roodles knows this. He prosecuted the Gambino family which, like Trump, reached their conspiratorial agreements using words, nods, and winks, ie, expression. He is crying because this (well, this and the sex tapes) are going to be his legacy.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

The six unindicted dick weasels can either cut a deal or become indicted dick weasels. That’s assuming none of them have already cut deals.

But those are the two doors in front of them and they have to make a decision soon. The first rat gets the cheese. Some can still have some semblance of a life afterward if they squeal like a common John Dean. Those that choose poorly will good down with Trump.

And in the immortal words of Rush:

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice”

Tick tock motherfuckers.

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Tosca's avatar

IANAL, but opinions I've read from lawyers: the Unindicted Co-conspirators are hosed. Prosecutors offer deals for testimony *before* indictments, not after. That Jack Smith has indicted Trump means that he's confident of a conviction RIGHT NOW, with the evidence he already has. He doesn't need anything Roodles et.al. have to offer.

They may still be able to Cooperate in their own prosecutions and have that Taken Into Consideration. But they've missed their window to throw Trump under the bus.

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GEM's avatar

And it looks like Trump plans to throw all his co-conspirators under the bus.

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Any time anyone uses the phrase "Trump Derangement Syndrome" as a defense or accusation or characterization of an act, they show themselves to be total and complete losers.

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Darth Trad's avatar

Should we open a book on which of the co-conspirators will break first and start handing over emails, logs, phone recordings and transaction histories? They got to see how the J6 rioters were treated, in spite of their efforts to claim that it was lawful. Criminal conspiracy is a much bigger deal than just criming out there in the street.

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TalentNotAutotune's avatar

Great idea! Here are my totally seat-of-the-pants odds:

Rudy Giuliani - 20-to-1

John Eastman - 8-to-1

Sidney Powell - 15-to-1

Jeffrey Clark - 5-to-1

Kenneth Chesebro - 5-to-1

Conspirator 6 - 7-to-3

I'm guessing that Clark and Chesebro see themselves as minor players (at least compared to the others) and neither wants to go to jail, so they're going to break.

But if Co-Conspirator 6 is indentified, s/he breaks first. There isn't a political consultant on the face of the earth that wouldn't throw their client under the bus is it means a better deal for them.

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Amanda Mitchell's avatar

The deflection squad is out in force with this recent indictment!

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Mount_Prion's avatar

That guy Rudy's talking to on Newsmax looks like a stubbed big toe with a face drawn on it.

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Gammarae's avatar

isn't he old what's-his-name, formerly of faux news?

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John_atx's avatar

I believe so. They all look like thumbs. Don’t recall his name.

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Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

There is not enough Preparation H in the fucking UNIVERSE to cure this level of butthurt.

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Bagels of Doom's avatar

"Siri, what is vocal fry?"

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Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

Somebody should make a Stephen Miller inflatable doll. Between the bald head and gaping stupid looking mouth, there are a multitude of uses one could imagine it satisfying.

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Thatsit Fortheotherwon's avatar

Getting that drone-stare eye thing he has will be tough to copy.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Package it with the Ben Shapiro plushie. Fun for the whole family. Christmas is coming, you know.

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Tosca's avatar

Ew.

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Michael Bowen's avatar

notmykink..gif

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Lefty Wright's avatar

That's why segments by Jordan Klepper are so funny and sad at the same time. He turns their cultish attachment and ignorance back on them and they still don't see it. Like when the "perfect" phone call to Ukraine was the topic and Klepper kept asking people who echoed "read the transcript, Trump did nothing wrong" if they had read the transcript that was only a couple of pages long. They all said no. Then were unable to explain why they had not read it and therefore why they thought it explained everything.

The MAGA idea of research is listening to other like simple minded cult members repeating each other's lies and misinformation. And concluding that since all the members of their rural alt-christian evangelical church voted for Trump it was impossible Biden won and Trump was too low when he said he won by millions of votes. They cannot grasp the fact that more people hate Trump than live him and think the notoriously Republican dominated FBI is controlled by Democrats. Confirmed by all the false leaks by the NYC FBI office to Giuliani. The latest lies going around by people like Mike Huckabee are that Anthony Weiner's laptop had classified documents put there by Hillary Clinton. A situation where Republican James Comey violated all DOJ rules saying you don't do anything that may affect an election close to election day without extremely strong justification, not just pure speculation. Which is all Comey had. Something that showed nothing new in that laptop but that finding was released on a Sunday afternoon when few people watched news shows and the mainstream media reported it in one paragraph on page 5 of the paper or a chyron in television at 2:00 am.

Just like 80% of Republicans still think Hillary issued a stand down order for an attempt to rescue the Americans in Benghazi. Despite numerous Republican controlled congressional investigations saying it did not happen, would have been futile, and endangered rescue teams. And the military saying they do not take orders from any Secretary of State if it involves military operations. That lie even has some Democrats believing it despite it being ridiculous on it's face.

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Tosca's avatar

"The MAGA idea of research is listening to other like simple minded cult members repeating each other's lies and misinformation".

One of my proudest achievements is having forced a bunch of anti Covid vaxxers on my town's FB page, to shut up and go away.

I asked what information they were basing their opinions on. They provided links to bullshit sources. I explained why the sources were bullshit.

So they flung down a list of good quality sources. I *read the articles* and explained that they didn't say what they thought they said, and didn't support their arguments.

In swooped an enabler to say I should respect people's private medical choices! I replied I wasn't saying anything about people's private medical choices - I was correcting incorrect information. Because I think people have a right to make their private medical information based on correct information.

"Well, YOU take the vaccine then!" was the final flourish. I replied I was going to do exactly that, as soon as it was available.

Did I convince the anti vaxxers? Probably not. Did I make them look stupid and ignorant? I did. Did I convince some waverers that the arguments against the Covid vaccine were bullshit? Probably. Did the anti-vaxxers quit bringing their bullshit to online spaces I frequent? Abso-fucking-lutely.

It's not perfect, but it's a start. Apply critical thinking to the speech of bigots and losers, politely ask them to explain to you, and rip their BS to shreds where everyone can see it. It shows marginalised people they're safe with you, it educates and protects bystanders, and it makes the bigot think twice about mouthing off in public.

I'm cishet and white, so I see it as my responsibility to outsmart the Tone Police and stay calm and reasonable.

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HarryEagar's avatar

I guess Rudy is my go-to guy when I want information about unethical lawyering.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

And hair dye.

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Craig Stahl's avatar

Can't wait for the latter part of Chram and Punishment. Roodles has been asking for it a very long time. Let these high functioning nitwit lawyers begin to fall, finally!

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

This is the first time I've seen Chram and Punishment. If this is an original, let me just say, good show. I like the cut of your jib.

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