America's National Pastime Is Watching Rudy Giuliani Cry About Trump Indictment On TV And Laughing At Him
Tell us about it, Co-Conspirator #1.
Already one of the most popular sections of the new January 6 indictments against Donald J. Trump is early on when it describes Trump’s as-yet-uncharged co-conspirators. It doesn’t use their names, but it didn’t take long before people had figured out who five out of six of them were. Número uno was Roodles the Clown himself, the accused sex pest with the heart of a slobbering old pervert, the guy willing to travel to Ukraine multiple times to find fake dirt on the Bidens, or travel to plant nurseries in greater Philadelphia to tell verifiable lies about election fraud, all in service to his Dear Leader.
“An attorney who was willing to spread knowingly false claims and pursue strategies that the Defendant’s 2020 re-election campaign attorneys would not,” as the indictment describes him.
And if you’re nice, maybe he’ll show you his chram!
What a guy.
Will the unindicted co-conspirators become indicted co-conspirators? Oh, baby Jesus, we hope so. But we don’t have time to dwell on wishing for bad things to happen to those bad people right now. Special Counsel Jack Smith clearly has a priority to get Trump to prison first, and so do we.
Howdy Roody went on TV last night, and he appeared to be as drunk as he reportedly was on election night 2020. We guess nobody in his life loves him enough to say, hey, Rudy, what about instead of TV appearances tonight, we do a nice game of mash some sleeping pills into some ice creams and go night-night?
Dear readers, please stop what you are doing to watch Rudy blubbering and crying on national TV, or at least on Newsmax. Watch him sob about what a mean man Jack Smith is for indicting Trump. Celebrate his misery.
Here are some words Rudy wailed:
“I long ago stopped being careful and I don’t worry about the Jack Smiths of this world. I have a chapter in my book called ‘Stand Up to Bullies’, so here’s what I say to Jack Smith. After the Supreme Court threw out your [Bob McDonnell] case, which should have been a disgrace and you should’ve gone and found another profession because you don’t belong in this one, this one will be your legacy. Violating the right of free speech of an American citizen. Never mind whether he was president or not. He could be anybody. He could be a homeless person. You don’t get to violate people’s First Amendment rights, Smith! No matter who the hell you are, or no matter how sick you are with Trump Derangement Syndrome. And this isn’t the first time you’ve acted like an unethical lawyer. It should be the last!”
OK, Rudy. Bless your heart. “Stand up to bullies.” You tell ‘em, big guy.
Anything else? Did Rudy have a cry about JACK SMITH SHOULD BE INDICTED FOR INDICTING TRUMP? Yes, Rudy did that. No need to stink up the website with that video.
Time for some real talk, because it counts for Rudy and for every vile lying piece of dogshit on Fox News last night and wherever vile lying Republicans and right-wing pundits are opening their mouths right now:
Pay zero attention to their screaming and crying about Jack Smith prosecuting Trump for his free speech. Look at them like they’re fucking crazy when they say it, like they’re exposing themselves in public.
This is the lie all right-wing Trump fellators are telling right now, and one only has to read literally to item number four in the indictment to learn that this is all about Trump’s actions. Item number three explains that of course Trump has free speech, and makes a clear distinction between speech and action. From then on it explains Trump’s conspiracies, what Trump actually did to steal people’s votes, subvert the will of the people, and try to overturn the election.
“The purpose of the conspiracy was to overturn the legitimate results of the 2020 presidential election by using knowingly false claims of election fraud to obstruct the federal government function by which those results are collected, counted and certified.”
That’s the whole thing right there. He is indicted for conspiring to steal the presidency, knowingly. (And Rudy was his NUMBER ONE helper!) He is not indicted for bitching and moaning about it. Any right-wing MAGA idiot pundit or politician or lawyer who tells you otherwise is invited to set their own dicks on fire and eat them.
Jack Smith explains this right out the gate, in the tiniest, most understandable words that even a MAGA voter could understand. It’s a noble attempt to pre-bunk the lies he knew amoral Trump supporters would immediately start telling.
The fact that they’re still telling the lies tells you just what debased creatures they really are.
And it tells you the contempt they have for their own voters, their 100 percent certainty that not one of their talking MAGA cow supporters will pick up the indictment for themselves and read it.
For a bonus, here is Trump Nazi Stephen Miller blubbering and crying that this is “the legal equivalent of the French guillotine!”
“They are criminalizing free speech! They are criminalizing resistance to the Deep State!”
Wank wank wank, LMAO, maybe he should lock himself in the bathroom, stare at his own ugly bald head in the mirror and cry a bunch more.
All of them should cry a bunch more.
[JoeMyGod]
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Let's game this out:
1) Pence refuses to accept certification of votes in the House.
2) Trump uses this as a pretext to argue that he was re-elected, and will not be leaving the WH.
3) Protesters take to the streets.
4) Counterprotesters from MAGA use violence against protesters.
5) Trump declares emergency powers and calls out military to impose martial law.
Now there are points here at which this may not have worked out but this was apparently Trump's plan, and serious people are talking about Trump and his party as if they are a legitimate choice in our next election.
I read the indictment last night. It is very well made, with just the right amount of detail.
The hand-stitching is exquisite. Old world craftsmanship that you just don't see these days.
Jack Smith really has a way with a needle.