314 Comments
User's avatar
therling's avatar

Hey, it’s only 11 on the east coast, I’m sure by now Trump has put in his order with Hickory Farms for something for Melania.

“...one soldier asked Trump what he had bought first lady Melania Trump for Christmas, the president revealed that he is behind on his shopping.”.

https://www.theguardian.com...

Expand full comment
renegade500's avatar

That is a fair point but I couldn't do that because a good friend of mine has a grey cat called Gandalf. Besides my Dorian is very handsome, and he knows it!

Expand full comment
renegade500's avatar

Awww sweet Freddie. I also have an elderly long haired orange cat, Hiddles. He's actually getting shaved on Friday. He won't let me brush him and his fur gets terribly matted.

Expand full comment
doktorzoom's avatar

Too late.

Expand full comment
Smibo's avatar

Me too.

Expand full comment
Napoleon Marsupial's avatar

I'm tempted to scream "Sara Benincasa!" after the filthy fuckaducks things, but I shouldn't.......SARA BENINCASA!!

Expand full comment
Keith Taylor's avatar

Dok, I happen to read your pieces in their entirety, and with great interest.I will nevertheless cop to being a filthy fuckaduck.Not filthy enough to pretend to find one redeeming quality in Moscow Mitch, though.

Expand full comment
GlazedHaim's avatar

Dok is pure channeling Prof Childermass and I’m here for it.

Expand full comment
CripesAmighty's avatar

But if we've already read the joke, it's no longer original.

Expand full comment
(((Aron)))'s avatar

Paul Dini's Babs Gordon?

MEE-OWWWW!!!

Expand full comment
thixotropic jerk's avatar

DoKrampus done. Laid. It. DOWN. Y'all!(Ps this is a non-comment so technically non-existent)

Expand full comment
DO SOMETHING! Linda's avatar

We had a decent Christmas. Got the MIL out for a four hour pass, and she was able to transfer from her wheelchair to my car because the seats lower and it's fancy like that. Anyway, we had a nice dinner with her. My useless stupid Cousin Eddie,*from Christmas Vacation* BIL and his grifty wife didn't come. They went to her mom's instead, and then complained that the food was rationed.

TO BAD IDIOTS, we had PLENTY, but don't show your hungry asses up here because KITCHEN'S CLOSED BITCHES. You could have eaten until you had to be rolled out the door and seen your moms outside a nursing home for the first time in a month, but you'd rather just live in her home, drive her car and NOT come see or help her!

We had a wonderful Christmas without you. I didn't even need a nerve pill because you two weren't there sneaking weed, eating WAY too much then complaining about how "your'e sick". Yes, I didn't HAVE to stay in my lane, because you weren't there, so from my heart to your greedy grifting, old-lady-exploiting selves, Merry Festivus.

This Airing of Grievances has concluded.

Expand full comment
DO SOMETHING! Linda's avatar

I wouldn't trust his tastes, anyway. Why bother getting anyone a present if they can just go buy a brown kid?

Expand full comment
efoveks's avatar

You're lucky your not dead, Dok. Thornton looks like he's been training for this. :-)

Expand full comment
Mandorlind's avatar

Need more upvotes.

Expand full comment
Ethereal Fairy Natalie's avatar

It's the killer legs that are in them. ; )

Expand full comment