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Tina Mouse's avatar

If they had rolled down the windows the liquid would have come into the car.

Oh wait he would not turn on the AC?

He had the bungies going thru the windows, around the car.

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JCfromNC's avatar

I was about to point out the same thing -- unless the car had cargo rails on the roof, the only way to tie it to the roof of the car is to pass the rope or bungee cords or whatever through the open windows and around the roof of the car.

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subterrene's avatar

Pretty sure they had to drive with the windows down because RFK doesn't believe in air conditioning. One more of those modern scientific inventions that were seemingly created to improve life but are actually fucking with your biology on some unprovable level.

Also? The stuff running down into the car was dead whale brain juice. Mammalian brains liquefy very quickly after death. But there's no way that's a health threat, right?

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JCfromNC's avatar

Or... the only way to tie it to the roof is to pass the rope (or I guess bungee cords in this case) through the open windows and around the roof. I've had to secure things that way once or twice, when it was unavoidable.

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subterrene's avatar

Nah, RFK's an idiot

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

You know who wouldn't have put up with riding home with a dead whale bungeed to the roof of the Caravan, forced to wear plastic bags with breathing holes cut out to avoid the whale slop?

Ted Cruz's kids. That's who.

Fuck Ted Cruz.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Gary. Weirdos gonna weird.

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Boscoe's avatar

So now ANY investigation into any wrongdoing is "weaponization of government against political opponents". sigh. I hate these assholes so much.

But since he's already dropped out of the race, how does he even qualify for his own made-up get out of consequences-free card? These people really don't think anything through.

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Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

He's a child of a Dead Kennedy and therefor absolved of any potential criminal activity.

Immunity from consequences apparently runs in the family - I'm looking at you, Ted.

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Sherry's avatar

These people are wealthy, entitled, white men. They have never been held accountable ever therefore the man is getting down on them or some stupid stuff.

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Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

I assume the ends of the bungee cords were attached to the interior of the car at the handle/garment hanger over the doors so the windows could not be fully rolled up.

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enon's avatar

i would think the butchered head of whale strapped to the top of your vehicle might be a tad attention getting ... not to mention horrifying for the kids in the car... goddamn, he's a freak.

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Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

I'm gonna guess that the severed head of a whale is not the most weird thing the New England cops have seen strapped to the top of a Kennedy car.

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Darth Trad's avatar

Why don't we talk about you selling illegal drugs all those years ago instead?

Donald Trump wants regular hangings of drug dealers. You might want to stick to crimes involving dead wildlife.

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Ryp's avatar

I’m pretty sure once Trump dies, RFK jr. is going to do something weird with the corpse.

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Viole Falusche's avatar

That could be made into a gif which I would never, ever play!

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Sep 16, 2024
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Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

He already admitted to eating BBQ dog. Is Cat Chowdah that big of step?

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Gern Blansten's avatar

Your Oregonian tech point correction: chainsaws have chains (hence the nym) otherwise we would call them chainblades, which sounds cool enough to have already been invented by some weapons forger. Otherwise 👍 another fine bit of satire Mr Gary —unless WAIT!?!? Blades for my chainsaw was MOAR satire????? Dang…

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Phried Ω's avatar

Well it turns out there actually is a National Marine Fisheries Institute. It is a Beltway lobby that is headed by CEOs of seafood companies and its membership is a whole bunch of companies that make money off of people who eat seafood including Walmart, Starkist, & Ruby Tuesday restaurants) . https://aboutseafood.com/about/

If they are investigating you it probably is for poaching on their turf(or surf as it were).

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Darth Trad's avatar

Yep. As I expected. Around 2/3rds of the fish consumed in the USA is imported. That requires a massive amount of advertising and the like to pretend that the place is full of AMERICAN FISHERMAN SELLING AMERICAN FISH TO RED-BLOODED AMERICANS!!

https://www.fisheries.noaa.gov/national/aquaculture/global-aquaculture

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Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

At the end of my cat's life, I was buying all kinds of food for him just to get him to eat something, anything. Every can and pouch said it was from Thailand.

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

RFK Jr is so fucking weird. I mean, he’s weird even among group that includes Trump and Vance.

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Old Man Yells at Cloud's avatar

He's weird even among a group that includes other Kennedy's.

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Darth Trad's avatar

It's like the Universe decided to place him and Laura Loomer in the same place as a sort of fucked-up Adam and Eve set.

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Major Is My Spirit Animal's avatar

Maybe that's Loony Loomer's angle - she's sucking up to PAB to get to RFKjr!

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Revenant's avatar

Just imagine their offspring, those two. Godfrey Daniels, what a pair of unmedicated loonies.

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dental floss tycoon's avatar

is anyone surprised as to how rfk jr. initially got a worm in his brain … he ingested the incipient worm during one of his roadkill dining adventures i’m sure … there is a reason we cook food … as emeril might say, he kicked it up a notch … takes weird to a whole new level it does …

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Eva, Iron Goddess of Mercy's avatar

"Why RFK’s children didn’t simply roll up the windows seems to have been unaddressed in the original telling of this whale tale. Not that doing so would have made the whole thing any less fucking weird."

I'm pretty sure that they couldn't close the windows because Kennedy didn't fix the air conditioner before the trip.

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Darth Trad's avatar

Logically, he had passed the ropes through the windows to hold the head down. And reading that as I read it makes it even weirder.

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S Cerevisiae's avatar

And those ropes or bungees would have been natural routes for the pungent whale head juice oozing into the van interior.

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Sherry's avatar

Hey I saw that trick in Goldfinger! The lower a thin rope over some vixen that needed killin’ and dropped a deadly liquid into her mouth as she slept. Clever.

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Eva, Iron Goddess of Mercy's avatar

I bet you’re right.

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plecop's avatar

Color me skeptical. What type of whale? What did it weigh? For reference, the tongue of the Blue Whale (largest species) weighs as much as an elephant. A small whale species such as Pilot Whale can be 20 feet long and weight over a ton. So a head of a Pilot Whale likely weighs at least a few hundred pounds. So one dude cuts off a head and straps it on a car roof? Maybe a small dolphin, but unlikely a whale. As most of us know, childhood memories can be inaccurate

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

I remember hearing it was a killer whale, which are actually big dolphins.

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I Stedman's avatar

Because the ropes he used to tie the head on the top of the car went through the windows. Sure it's been mentioned before - but that's why.

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