14 Comments

I'm forming an exploratory committee; mostly exploring the inside of my nose, w/ a moistened forefinger.

Expand full comment

As did Snoopy, Winnie the Pooh, Pogo and other cartoon characters. How can they keep up?

Expand full comment

Pogo, Snoopy and Winnie the Pooh weep, for real cartoon characters can no longer keep up.

Expand full comment

"A friend of mine said, 'Roseanne, you know, you're not very feminine.' So I said, 'Suck my dick.'"

Expand full comment

Too subtle a joke, I guess.

Expand full comment

What to do when you hear your fame clock ticking down toward zero? Used to be getting drunk in public, then came sextapes. Now, it's running for political office.

Come to think of it, I'm relieved that she's taking the modern approach.

Expand full comment

I think it's fair to say Mitt Romney is ambling, rather than running.

Expand full comment

I've already set up a phony company to channel untraceable millions into your campaign coffers. Um ... do you have coffers yet?

Expand full comment

Roseanne would match her nuts up against any candidates the Republican party has fielded to date.

Fixed. (No apostrophe when pluralizing.)

Expand full comment

I said that about Dubya! My exact words were "How can an intellectually limited business failure with no discernable skills except cocaine consumption ever get elected?" And, as I recall, I then said "I will hate him with a seething passion rooted in his betrayal of America's ideals." At least, that's the way I remember it.

Expand full comment

I've already clawed my own eyes out (again!) at the prospect.

Expand full comment

Sarah Palin's™ autographed mannequin head is also running. <a href="http://wonkette.com/417285/..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://wonkette.com/417285/sarah-palin-signs-mann...">http://wonkette.com/417285/...

Expand full comment