Another Trump Indictment? In DC? If It's What You Say It Is, We LOVE IT, Especially Later In The Summer.
More Trump indictments than impeachments. That's impressive!
It’s goin’ down for real! Donald Trump burped out two long-ass posts this morning announcing “HORRIFYING NEWS for our Country.”
WOW! On Sunday night, while I was with my family, having just arrived from the Turning Point event in Florida, where I won the Straw Poll against all other Republican candidates with 85.7%, with all polls showing me leading in the Republican Primary by very substantial numbers, almost everyone predicting that I will be the Republican Nominee for President, and as I am leading Democrat Joe Biden in the polls by a lot, HORRIFYING NEWS for our Country was given to me by my attorneys.
Okay, before we get to the horror, we gotta call bullshit on this one. There’s no evidence that Donald Trump has ever eaten dinner with his son Baron, or indeed that he could pick that kid out of a lineup. Jared and Vanky have long since noped out, and Melon can barely stand to be in the same room with him. So let’s assume Trump was eating with the “family” of sycophants who slobber over him daily, shall we?
Deranged Jack Smith, the prosecutor with Joe Biden's DOJ, sent a letter (again, it was Sunday night!) stating that I am a TARGET of the January 6th Grand Jury investigation, and giving me a very short 4 days to report to the Grand Jury, which almost always means an Arrest and Indictment.
He sent a letter on a Sunday night? During dinner? INPEACH! Although Trump managed to refrain from calling Jack Smith a crackhead this time, so … props!
But, okay, okay, we know you’re not here to read about Trump’s dinner plans. You want to know when it is LOCK HER UP time for Mango Mussolini. And so do we!
The answer is soon … probably within a week. Because if you’re being invited to tell your side of the story to the grand jury, it means that an indictment is about to drop, particularly since the special counsel has been going hell for leather, seeking to get these cases to trial before the election.
It also means that Trump is about to be charged in DC, i.e. not in front of Judge Aileen Cannon. And boy does he know it!
So interesting that in this case the information was delivered to me on a Sunday night, less than 24 hours after I suggested during a major speech that the Federal Government ASSUME CONTROL of a filthy, unsanitary, neglected, and crime-ridden Washington, D.C., where murder and violent crime are rampant and people no longer want to go to our Nation's Capital... and yet, that is where Biden's DOJ actually wants my trial to take place, all because they think, especially after my strong words of a Federal takeover at the speech, a D.C. jury will do whatever they want. VERY UNFAIR!
And let’s be clear, there is no universe in which Trump’s lawyers will put him on the witness stand. Quite aside from his documented inability to go ten words without lying, we’re talking about a guy who volunteered in a deposition that he didn’t want to have sex with E. Jean Carroll’s lawyer. So Trump didn’t have to let the world know the indictment was coming the way he did when he announced that the FBI was at Mar-a-Lago serving that warrant. If he’s not going to show up at the federal courthouse to testify, he didn’t need to produce two pages of word vomit this morning.
But since he did, let’s just cover the bigger chunks now, shall we? Obviously, Trump screamed about RUSSIA and WITCH HUNT and DOSSIER and CROOKED HILLARY. He also took credit for keeping Attorney General Merrick Garland off the Supreme Court, which is probably news to Mitch McConnell.
Trump says it was a perfect, perfect attempt to overturn the results of an election, and the real coup was Democrats and the Justice Department.
Under the United States Constitution, I have the right to protest an Election that I am fully convinced was Rigged and Stolen, just as the Democrats have done against me in 2016, and many others have done over the ages. But the Democrats have gone much further than has ever happened before - they cheated on the elections. Rather than looking at the CHEATERS, the WEAPONIZED DOJ AND FBI target and harass those who complain about the cheaters, and the massive fraud that took place.
But mostly, Trump is fully aware that while he’s under indictment in New York and Florida, he’s also likely to be indicted in DC and Georgia within the next two weeks. That’s four criminal trials, plus E. Jean Carroll’s defamation suit, during 2024 while he’s trying to run for president. Judge Cannon is holding a hearing this afternoon on how to treat classified evidence in the documents case, and she’s considering dueling scheduling motions from the parties. This news will undoubtedly play a role in the case, and we’ll be watching to see if she presses prosecutors this afternoon to get some sense of how the two cases will affect each other.
But on top of all of that, they have now effectively indicted me three times (the DOJ staffed and runs the D.A.'s Office in Manhattan), with a probable fourth coming from Atlanta, where the DOJ are in strict, and possibly illegal, coordination with the District Attorney, whose record on murder and other violent crime is abysmal. THIS WITCH HUNT IS ALL ABOUT ELECTION INTERFERENCE AND A COMPLETE AND TOTAL POLITICAL WEAPONIZATION OF LAW ENFORCEMENT! It is a very sad and dark period for our Nation!
Funny, the mood is not “sad and dark” in the Wonkette Seekrit Chat Cave! More like ebullient, effusive, querulous, and a bunch of other SAT words. Because we don’t know what the hell he’s going to be charged with, or who might get indicted with him.
We’ve been getting hints that Special Counsel Jack Smith’s January 6 investigation was wide ranging, with stories about subpoenas of state parties and the RNC and half the Trump campaign. Federal judges in DC overruled executive privilege claims, forcing former Trump administration officials like White House Counsel Pat Cipollone, chief of staff Mark Meadows, and even onetime Vice President Mike Pence to testify. So we have no idea who else might be indicted along with Trump, although we expect coup-curious lawyer John Eastman is feeling a bit dyspeptic this morning. Rudy Giuliani says he has not received a target letter, and Mark Meadows was already reported to have reached a deal to avoid prosecution. But there are a lot of moving parts here.
In summary and in conclusion, “these are all Hoaxes and Scams made up to stop me from fighting for the American People - BUT I WILL NEVER STOP!”
Ah, well, that’s what they all say. Right until the cell door clangs shut behind them.
Catch Liz Dye on Opening Arguments podcast.
If Trump is indicted again by the mid-August I promise you Buttermilk Scones and Strawberry Jam with a bonus Cheese Scones recipe from my childhood visits to my grandmother as September's Baking Post.
This is your occasional gentle reminder that DOJ maintains a 97.5 percent conviction rate.