39 Comments
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Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

They should never activate people on Mondays.

Ilgattomorte's avatar

Thanks anyway. You guys have been doing some great work removing God from all of the textbooks. Happy Holidays! Ha!

Fartknocker's avatar

Just so ya know, being from liberal-weenie-home of the brave hipster douchebags- my town Austin:

His first rounds were at the Mexican Consulate - they weren't home at 3:15 AM. He then drove 3 blocks to the Federal Court House, who has officers whom are very sensitive at people shooting a bullet proof glass, who alerted APD. He then drove to the entrance of the police station, started erratic shooting, and was shot by a mounted patrol officer (and no he wasn't on his horse). The rest of the town wasn't outside because most everyone else was in bed under the influence of tryptophan and alcohol, because we like that kind of thing here.

He also was convicted felon because he robbed an armored car about 15 years ago, so we should also blame Eric Holder for allowing a felon in Texas to have guns (good luck with that).

WA Bishop's avatar

Why focus on race when it is clear that gender was at issue? There can be no doubt that this was a false-flag attack by radical feminists seeking to discredit men.

WA Bishop's avatar

Like he was going to even find the tree of liberty anywhere within 10 miles of downtown Austin!

WA Bishop's avatar

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I drove around the suburbs with a megaphone shouting "wingnuts: ACTIVATE"

Ilgattomorte's avatar

...Awww, I'm all verklempt.

Ilgattomorte's avatar

Damn, I always wanted to go to one of those. You know what they say, "Once you go gay gypsy ..."

jqheywood's avatar

Ha...trailers don't have basements or sump pumps!

fuflans's avatar

well i don't know about anyone else, but you fucking win my internet of the day.

bobbert's avatar

Morning in America.

bobbert's avatar

Ah, but they are <i>clever</i> Powerful <strike>Aliens</strike> Republicans.

They are running the country by doing fuck all.

bobbert's avatar

Actually, I think that could be described as "literally" butchering Tolstoy.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Aren't Texas schools "protected" by gun-toting teachers and adminstrators?