528 Comments
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ERISunveiled's avatar

Aliens, demons and orgies, oh my!

…Which my SubStack talks all about. So check out my on-going series, The Psychedelic Apocalypse

fawkedifiknow's avatar

This is a little off-topic, but just as weird, in my opinion. While returning from a visit to northern Wisconsin recently - or a nearly 100% Trump stronghold - I was bouncing around on radio offerings from the area and happened on some clearly religion-centric outpost from thereabouts. A guy was interviewing another guy, who seemed to be a Catholic clergy loon, although it wasn't entirely made clear. This guy was holding forth on the obviously true fact that aborted clumps of cells and other murdered fetuses most certainly continue to age in heaven. He explained that a kid who had experienced a return to life after dying said, over dinner with his family, that he had met his sister in heaven and that she was grown up now, although she had been "miscarried" while still not fully developed in the womb. The kid's mother claimed that the story must be true because the little kid telling the tale had never been told that he had a "sister who died and went to heaven before natural childbirth." All this was accepted by the host of the radio program without a scintilla of incredulity. I get a kick out of listening to shit like that on long road trips, so help me god. Amen, y'all.

Tessie's avatar

I saw a UFO one time when I was coming home from a date (he saw it, too).

It was a large round glowing object, like the moon when not quite full, and it was moving FAST.

There's probably some reasonable explanation, but goddamn if *I* could identify it.

AIB's avatar

The part I’m not clear on is how masquerading as an alien helps the devil spread evil. Wouldn’t a sexy woman —or a hot guy— running a Ponzi or cryptocurrency scheme work better?

AIB's avatar

Or a sports betting site.

Stephen St John's avatar

The religious: we're in a constant battle between good and evil.

Rethugs: we're in a constant battle between good and evil.

Cryny's avatar

The side we're on might surprise you!

somebeanz's avatar

Using a medieval term like “demon” destroys the credibility of whoever says it.

NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

So…do the Churchgoing Folk still believe in literal demons? I mean, for sure the extremist nutjobs do. But I feel like I read somewhere that mainstream Christianity has shifted to a “demons are the evil in people’s souls when they turn away from Jeebus” sort of philosophy…

Cryny's avatar

I get e-mail from one sometimes.

Majordomo Billy Bojangles's avatar

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/nearly-7-in-10-u-s-adults-believe-in-angels-ap-norc-poll-finds

Nearly 7 in 10 adults believe in angels.

If you're gonna believe in angels, demons aren't a big leap. In fact, I've got a bunch of them running on my Linux box right now. Mostly SystemD.

Peter MacMonagle's avatar

No such thing despite Sister Andrea or Resident Alien. When we have people like the Trumps there is no need to create demons. Horrible people much like them exist already.

G-7 in Space's avatar

Gary Seven knows something about Aliens and I can assure they are not "demons" that's just dunbassery....

Christopher Bosch's avatar

I haz a confuse. Is this the 21st Century or is my watch running really really fast?

Tessie's avatar

Surprise twist: The world actually ended in 2012 like the Mayan calendar predicted, and we've all been in the hell afterlife since then.

littlerice vice's avatar

I am excitedly awaiting my first confrontation with the "HOLY EXTREME UNCTION". Anxious really! Never has my reliance on exorcism been this ATWITTER. If you never hear from me again lease pay all of my bar debts. I can put in a good word for you with MR. BIG!

Hank Napkin's avatar

As a Believer, why should I find ANY FUCKING THING hard to Believe?

tim gueguen's avatar

I think there's an element of cynicism in the apparent increase in exorcists by the Roman Catholic Church over the last 30 years or whatever it was. Because the Church is losing adherents in places where people are less likely to believe in demons than places like Africa and South America.

G-7 in Space's avatar

The Catholic Church doesn't kill enough witches for the Africans...

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I'm intrigued by the mention of his previous duties providing mental health services to priests who'd sexually assaulted adults and children.

I'd like to know of those mental health services were provided in a prison setting.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Grown adults believing in the boogie man.

Grown adults believing in the boogie man who also believe that God is omnipotent.

Grown adults believing in the boogie man who also believe that God is omnipotent but needs the help of his vastly inferior creations to beat the boogie man.

KEITH TAYLOR's avatar

Or, quoting Heinlein, "God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and at the same time completely and perfectly good. For anybody who can accept all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a real estate deal involving the Brooklyn Bridge. No cheques please. Cash, in small bills."

Tessie's avatar

Isn't there a paradox on the order of:

If God cannot prevent evil, he is not all-powerful.

If God can prevent evil, but does not do so, he is not all-good.

G-7 in Space's avatar

Didn't Dawkins call out religion by saying if "all religious books and all science books disappeared in 2000 years you would have completely different religions, but every science book would be exactly the same.."

Hank Napkin's avatar

God Make Universe So So Very Big to Fool Us, I Am Laughing So Big!!

Tessie's avatar

HU HU! I say, HU HU!

Great is the mirth among their assembled chins.

Hank Napkin's avatar

Is that short for HUZZAH?

Tessie's avatar

It is HA HA with a generic foreign accent.

tehbaddr's avatar

You just said "The Boogie Man" three times and here I am!

Tessie's avatar

At first it wasn't easy...

littlerice vice's avatar

We have been waiting for you! Let's get down and BOOGIE Y'ALL!

tehbaddr's avatar

"demons like to hide"

I'll say! They hide up my butt! And when they get out are extremely evil, smelling if brimstone and sulfur!

Hank Napkin's avatar

Home is where the shit is.