Are You Reading Political Wire? No? What's Wrong With You? Are You A Loser? (A Sponsored Post)
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Are You Reading Political Wire? No? What's Wrong With You? Are You A Loser? (A Sponsored Post)
A rare peek inside the Sekrit ChatCave
People sometimes wonder how Yr Wonkette stays on top of the news so good. They ask us all the time, "Hey! Wonkette! How do you stay on top of the news so good?" There's no real secret to it: Yr Wonkette reads Political Wire to keep track of all the latest lies and corruption from the new Trump administration. It’s like Wonkette, but with fewer dick jokes.
Well, there actually aren’t any dick jokes. Those are pretty much our thing. But Political Wire really does know politics, and it comes in an easy-to access package, just waiting for all the dick jokes you might want to add. Plus, it is real news, not the fake kind that so many news consumers are disappointed by these days. It is run by Taegan Goddard, a friend of Wonkette from way back and a stand-up guy, although he does not do standup.
If you join as a member, you’ll also get exclusive analysis of the latest lies and corruption plus bonus eBooks and no advertising. They even have a trending news page for members, updated every 15 minutes with the very latest lies and corruption. You might even beat Wonkette to the dick jokes with a tool this powerful. Or at least get a head start on your day drinking.
Right now, Political Wire is even running a special offer just for Wonkette readers: JoinPolitical Wire as an annual member and get $5 off your subscription. Just use coupon code “Wonkette” when signing up!
Or you could wait until the lamestream media gets to the story, by which time all the dick jokes will be stale. You don't want stale dick jokes, do you? Of course you do not.
Are You Reading Political Wire? No? What's Wrong With You? Are You A Loser? (A Sponsored Post)
The N2O shortage was made apparent to me almost a month ago, though I was unaware of the explosive cause. On Thanksgiving Day, just prior to my pilgrimage across town for the traditional family drama, my sibling calls me, explaining that there had been an oversight in planning, and there was no whipped cream for the pumpkin pie! Could I please be a dear, and pick some up on my way over?
So of course, Mrs. Smibo and I thought it would be a friendly gesture to stop at the grocery store on the way, but when we got there, there was a big chain across the door, and a sign saying "closed on Thanksgiving. Now, we had never heard of a grocery store that was closed on Thanksgiving before, so with tears in our eyes we drove off into the sunset looking for another place to get some whipped cream. We didn't find one.
Til we came to a main road, and off the side of the main road was a 15-foot cliff fucking Mal-Wart store, which was of course open late in the afternoon on Thanksgiving day. They were out of every sort of whipped topping imaginable though, except for eight cans of generic aerosol unsweetened real cream. Of those eight cans, six had their cap seals broken, and the seventh was of questionable integrity, as if someone had gone to a great and conscientious effort to make it appear that they had not, in fact, huffed all the nitrous oxide out of it while they were standing there in the dairy aisle.
The eighth can appeared intact, so we bought it. The end.
As you know, I stand up for science. I also stand up for Political Wire. I love them only a tad less than I love this here mommy-recipe-blog. I also too give them a scant portion of my piddly monthly Ameros budget because Taegan Goddard is a rockstar of journamalism. He probably even wears a green visor, although I hope there is no cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth. Do I give moniez to the New York Times or the Washington Post? No I do not. Why? Because I think of them as the Ivy League of media and I am a state university-type person who has no trust fund in her future, let alone her present. I might, however, have a job as a Walmart greeter in the coming years if people like Taegan Goddard and our Esteemed Editrix are put out of bidness. Throw Political Wire a bone if you have one, people. You won't be sorry.