519 Comments
User's avatar
zuludaddy (seamonkey!)'s avatar

what even is this fucking world? and without our Fukui?? how are we meant to get on??

thank fuck yr

smoking lamp is

at fucking last

lit

(uuuuuugh :/ )

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Puff puff pass everywonk!

Bagels of Doom's avatar

>>>>> Biggs will challenge Democratic incumbent Gov. Katie Hobbs, who said on MS NOW Tuesday that the race for governor now has national implications, too, since “Arizona is one of seven swing states that will decide the presidential election” in 2028. If Biggs becomes governor, she pointed out, that would make Arizona “the first swing state with an election denier in charge, and the time to stop that is not 2028. It is right now.” <<<<<

Never let them hear the end of it.

JunkYardDogg's avatar

In keeping with the same Highway to Hell theme, I just read that DimeBag Mike Lindell, noted crackhead extraordinaire, candidate for Minnesota governor, is in the lead for the MAGAT primary. This is one rancid piece of shit that should be in prison. In keeping with Lindell’s sincere concern for election integrity, it should be noted that this scumbag is presently registered to vote in Texas, not Minnesota. But hey, his obsession with invoking Martial Law should take care of that.

Snarfyguy's avatar

I thought he was off the ballot now, for not residing in the place he wants to represent.

Tom65's avatar

Can someone explain why he and Rudy Giuliani aren’t living in refrigerator boxes under the freeway?

goCatgo's avatar

Some kids stole them.

JunkYardDogg's avatar

Well, Lindell did bring out a new product a couple of years ago precisely to address that problem for himself. It is called the ‘My Tent’.

josephebacon's avatar

The Minnesota GOP deserves Crackhead Mike at the top of the ticket!

Thesaurus Wrecks 2547's avatar

I haven’t watched the Daily Show in a long time but I’m curious.

Does Jon have an equal aversion to Republicans calling Democrats Communists as he did Democrats calling Trump a fascist?

CzechJournalists's avatar

i'm still willing to watch the Daily Show and South Park reruns on paramount channels. Jon only clocks in one day a week and all the hosts are well worth watching.

Tecolote's avatar

I watch, but not on Mondays when Stewart performs his weak schtick. An unwatchable asshole.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

I think he thinks the dems should be above that. -_-

JustPixelz's avatar

Winning! Oil prices top $100 a barrel as Houthis attack Saudi tankers in the Red Sea [AP]

Snarfyguy's avatar

I kind of want to see what happens if things go completely pear-shaped and those prices skyrocket to 10 times what they are now.

Except I also don't because it would sort of be the end of the world as we know it.

goCatgo's avatar

10 times seems a bit high, but historically, within the realm of possibilities.

A long time ago, in a country far, far away, there were these real pretty tulips, and......

(STOP! We know this one!) Ok. Jeeze.

Anna-Elizabeth's avatar

As one of the comments says, this is hazing and humiliation.

See, we did our part in WW2 without this kind of thing.

CzechJournalists's avatar

i don't remember ever watching the jrotc peeps in high school being compelled to eat ass.

Anna-Elizabeth's avatar

I was in JROTC and military school in the late 80s. We drilled, we got punished for failure, we learned to obey orders and that the unit was more important than the individual.

We were not humiliated nor subject to sexual assault.

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

Just turned on Nicolle at 4:00. Lead story: DOJ withdraws subpoenas against NY Times reporters and their FUCKIN' FAMILY MEMBERS after judge apparently ripped them a new one at the hearing and said withdraw them or I'm gonna' quash them right FUCKIN' NOW!

Excellent news.

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

One more OT, legal news:

Marc Elias

@marcelias.bsky.social

· 24m

🚨BREAKING: Federal Court DISMISSES Department of Justice lawsuit seeking to compel Kentucky to provide the DOJ with access to its complete statewide voter registration database.

DOJ is now 0-17 in these case. Elias Law Group remains undefeated. www.democracydocket.com/cases/kentuc...

JanuaryClaire's avatar

Is this about them reporting on Air Farce One?

"M"'s avatar

Good

Been kinda holding my breath over that since I wasn't sure which judge they'd get in front of

Snarfyguy's avatar

Yeah, that's good.

I remember that whole Judith Miller flap, wow!

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

The entire journalism business was laughing at that useful idiot.

Snarfyguy's avatar

I thought she was supposed to have been a hero for refusing to divulge her sources?

Wasn't there a Mary Tyler Moore Show episode about that, too?

Parakeetist's avatar

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20260717-the-shark-that-lives-for-centuries

OT:

Lortd!

Greenland sharks are reeeeeeally beeg, and reeeeeally olde.

There are many who were still alive hundreds of years ago.

"Yeah, hi, I went to the premier of the Scottish Play. Holy shit, that lady stabbed a guy."

GH Swell's avatar

"When it's an animal that could be a few hundred years old, there could be anything in that animal, so for health and safety, you want to be sure you follow good routines," says Stavenow Jerremalm. "If it's an animal that's lived for that long, bacteria or viruses from very long ago could be within that body", and then suddenly get exposed through the necropsy, she explains. "It's important to be mindful that we don’t know why this animal died, and which potential diseases it could have within it."

Good thing it didn’t beach in front of the US CDC or RFK Jr’s house. He’d probably motorboat it and have the anti-vax committee use it a slip and slide.

Sk8erChoi's avatar

Also today on serious hard news channel CNN:

"Watch an orca ram a sunfish so hard that the fish explodes"

https://www.cnn.com/2026/07/23/science/orcas-ramming-sunfish

Sk8erChoi's avatar

Yeah but NYTimes has to use elitist words like "pulverize" whereas CNN is more like "watch fish go kablamo!"

goCatgo's avatar

See now, I did not know fisches had cable. Or even tee vees.

Parakeetist's avatar

They do. They keep it secrets.

Sharks are masters of the ocean. They swim around, they eat everything that lives, and they don't give a shit about anything at all.

goCatgo's avatar

Yeah, that is a bit out of the ordinary. Women prefer to murder in passive ways.

Poison being No. 1. They like cutting brake lines, garage doors, weird "accidents."

Then again, it is the country that invented golf.

goCatgo's avatar

Boy is it ever tuff nowadays to be a Congress person. So many things to decide. Everyday.

Seafood or steaks for dinner. Tech lobby likes seafood. Oil lobby likes steak.

In the old days Big Steel and Big Banks didn't care. Whatever your wife wanted that night.

At least there's still Big Pharma to break the tie.

And then there's bills and shit. Who to take money from. War and Peace. They get no break.

"House votes to end Iran war, but Senate Republicans vote to let Trump continue waging it."

--NBC.

Parakeetist's avatar

OT:

If Uue are an Intelligent Hoomin, let's please watch things that are interesting and really cool.

Such movies and clips abound on the Film Boards of Canada website.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cqlxvvw06pqo

Yes, that's where the group got the name. It's not the group's website, though. That's this:

https://boardsofcanada.com/

Birb has given Uue An Educate.

gallbladder's avatar

You should check out their channel: some truly exceptional documentaries to be had (e.g., "KANEHSATAKE: 270 Years of Resistance").

https://www.youtube.com/user/nfb

Parakeetist's avatar

One of the best things I liked about growing up in En Why Cee was the huge variety of Tee Bee stations.

Our local PBS and UHF channels - yes, we had those - had the weirdest shit imaginable. My brother and I would come home and watch Film Boards cartoons.

I remember one that had a guy in a beret painting with mayonnaise on a wall. He was yelling, "God is mayonnaise, and mayonnaise is love."

NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

TBF, “dumocrats” is not Grampa Assmouth’s worst nickname. But his whole “Take off the B; most people don’t even know ‘dumb’ has a B” schtick is just stupid. I mean look at the word written out…if I saw that without knowing the genesis I’d think it sounded like “doomocrat.” Why not keep the B? “Dumbocrat” makes just as much sense. My guess is HE was baffled by the silent B, and since it didn’t make sense to him he broke it and threw it away.

C- at best. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Fluffopotamus's avatar

RW trolls were using dumocrat for years before Anusface McPuddingbrain learned about it.

Shane Donnell's avatar

Your analysis is sound.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Thinking "dumb" has no b is proof dillhole doesn't read.

Bigby's avatar

"the documentary film 2000 Mules"

Assumes facts not in evidence.

Parakeetist's avatar

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cqlxvvw06pqo

OT:

Oh noes! Camels are so overheated in the desert, they are falling down!

Yes, in Africa, the camels are getting tired, they need water, they gotta sit down for a little bit

- I may have posted it before, it's still a good story

Snarfyguy's avatar

I heard the Egyptian authorities are phasing out the use of camels for tourist excursions around the pyramids at Giza, likely sensibly so, poor critters.

Parakeetist's avatar

Yeah. That's good.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

I read that babby camels are dying!

Parakeetist's avatar

Oh yeees. Is Big Sads.

tek's avatar

𝐼𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑂𝑈 𝑡𝑜 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑦 — 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑦 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑦 — 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼𝑟𝑎𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑆𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝐻𝑜𝑟𝑚𝑢𝑧. 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑢𝑙𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑈𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠.

No, Leon, the "bad mistake" was starting this stupid shit, egged on by a genocidal maniac and with an idiot in charge of the DoD, in the first place.

gallbladder's avatar

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬, 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐮𝐳 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐦𝐲.

That isn't going to end pretty as fuckface had no plan going into hostilities to begin with. Still doesn't.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

They are going to win by rubbing testosterone cream on the missiles.

josephebacon's avatar

And then Franky Graham Cracker will bless each missile in the name of Jesus.

No Quid Bro Code's avatar

Today on the DOJ Clown Show Hour: DOJ withdraws its subpoenas to the NYT, and the government no longer seeks a "Jew list" from Princeton.

Cockeyed Kash and Dumb-as-shit Blanche are so bad at this.

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

I read that the evidence against the Olympic athlete is "missing".

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

“I meant to do that.” — Pee Wee Herman

JanuaryClaire's avatar

I believe you mean Pinky Herman!

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Is that his evil twin? I miss stuff not having a TV for seven years.

Tasner Hasenpfeffer's avatar

Some Trump said. It's in this morning's Tabs.