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Arizona Strip Club Throws Its Pasties Behind Progressive Pastor For Congress
In a story that has a hint of Carl Hiaasen's Strip Tease to it -- the novel, not the Demi Moore movie, for godssake -- a Phoenix strip club has endorsed the candidacy of Rev. Jarrett Maupin in the state's Democratic primary. Maupin is one of four Democrats hoping to win the nomination to replace retiring Rep. Ed Pastor in District 7. That would have been five, but the Tea Party loon who changed his name to "Cesar Chavez" got thrown off the ballot for having a bunch of invalid signatures on his nominating petitions. Arizona, man. So the race is down one fake Democrat, and up an endorsement from "The Great Alaskan Bush Company," which we swear is not taken from a Hiaasen novel.
Rev. Maupin says that while he has never been a patron of the strip club, he was told by the owner that the dancers voted to give him their endorsement due to his support of issues important to workers: all-day kindergarten, an increased minimum wage, and making student loans more affordable. What? you mean to say that strippers actually have lives? Next thing you know they'll be signing up for Obamacare, like the prostitutes. Maupin, who says he is a member of the Progressive Christian Coalition, is happy to accept the endorsement:
"What can I say? I support freedom of speech, single moms and college students," Maupin said. "In the long run, it might not be good for (the club). My goal is to help young ladies get their clothes back on."
Maupin is probably a long shot for the nomination, considering that he's unable to vote himself, thanks to a 2009 felony conviction for lying to the FBI in an investigation of alleged crimes by then-mayor Phil Gordon. Then again, maybe that's an advantage, Maupin suggests: "You'd be hard-pressed to find a family in the district that doesn't have several" convictions.
Yr Wonkette would just like to go on the record as supporting strip club endorsements of candidates. Especially if we can be invited to the debates, because what if the strippers start fighting and then instead of fighting they start making out? It could happen.
Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He supports separation of church and strip club.