Aussie Julia Stiles Now Queen Of The Danes!
Actually it's Princess Mary, but remember that one movie?
People who were alive in 2004 shall surely recall the most important motion picture of that year, The Prince & Me. It starred Julia Stiles as a person with a straight bob and not curly hair. This American student (in Madison, Wisconsin!) unwittingly fell in love with the Crown Prince of Denmark, much to the chagrin of his Danish mom, played by the very-not-Danish Miranda Richardson. I sure hope they paid life rights to Aussie normie Crown Princess Mary Donaldson of Denmark, because now she’s about to become the Queen!
Monarchies are trash and should not exist, but anyway, she’s politically progressive and loves the LGBTQIA+ folks, so that’s fun for queer Danes and also for fans of queer Danes. I appreciate that she learned how to speak Danish, which is just as insane as English and also probably very hard to learn.
Let’s learn more about LGBTQIA+ folks in Denmark from the country’s official website, which hilariously has a landing page that says, “Once we were brutal Vikings. Now we are one of the world’s most peaceful societies. Welcome to Denmark.” That is amazing. No notes. Anyway, here’s some info on their local gays. Did you know Denmark was the first country to recognize same-sex unions way back in ye ole 1989? Very cool.
Okay back to the lovers. I also love that they met at a pub and she didn’t know who the fuck he was. I wouldn’t have known, either, because who the fuck outside Denmark (besides, I assume, their Scandinavian neighbors) would recognize a Danish prince not all dressed up and whining about his mommydaddy issues on a stage in the King’s English?
Denmark’s monarchy seems powerless except in a symbolic way, so that’s good. And I hope their country isn’t footing the bill for their fancy lifestyle, but it probably is. FWIW, our girl Mary polls super-high among the locals.
Anyway, this story is noteworthy mainly because I like her politics and I didn’t realize that ridiculous movie from 19 years ago was almost certainly based on actual events. Of course, in the film, the royal douchebag chooses the University of Wisconsin because he sees some broads from there on a “Girls Gone Wild” commercial or something. Also, they have sex in the library, which I do not condone. Oh anyway, through their love he becomes a better person, etc. etc. etc.
Is this a news story about a fluffy event in Europe OR an incisive critique of a film that even Pauline Kael would applaud? Will Wonkette win the Pulitzer Prize for Criticismsing that we’ve so long deserved? Am I aware that much of the country is experiencing trash weather and maybe you need a little dose of cotton candy to make the cough and cold syrup go down easier? None can say.
Alright, put on your warmest clothing unless you live in a warm place. Then wear a bikini and try not to have sex in the local university library, okay? You are the Danish prince you’ve been waiting for, I hope Julia Stiles is doing very well after her recent cute SNL appearance, and may we all continue to celebrate her oeuvre.
I'm going to tell a story, because it kind of came up down thread.
I got lost on the Japanese train system, because I was doing way too much gymnastics and was just fucking tired.
I got on to the same train I always got onto, but didn't notice a sign that said the route had changed.
I feel asleep and instead of landing in downtown Tokyo, I was in farm land.
My parents weren't weird about making sure I had enough money in an emergency, but it just happened that I didn't have enough that day. Japanese phones at that time worked on 10 Yen coins.
I basically had enough time to tell them... I'm fucking lost (I was like seven.).
Then I went outside of the train station and cried on the curb. A very nice taxi driver drove me all the way home.
And this is why it's nice that our loved ones have phones.
My dad worked in international banking at that point, so the Japanese version of the FBI were out looking for me, but it just took one really nice taxi dtriver to make it all right.
Speaking of falling in love with Princes, I did that 36 years ago.
I know this because our 35th anniversary is next month and I just asked him if he’d be upset if I was gone to do a seminar that weekend and he said, “No. We can celebrate it the weekend before or after just as easily. So go do your thing. You’re happier when you do your thing. And when you are happy I am happy.”