2457 Comments
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Megan Macomber's avatar

Ouch! Ouch! Ouchity ouch ouch ouch OUCH! OMG that South Park still had to hurt JD's feelings but hard, what with Tall Trump's face being one of those old handsome photos--without the pout OR the elephantine chins--and the one of JD being, well, NOT THAT.

And yet, JD managed to eke out a "joke" about it. In public, no less, which means drawing attention to that differential in attractiveness (and HEIGHT!!!) just to show JD can take it.

With the Exception of Vance--that's the title of my new motion picture, a panorama of JD's complex life and stunning deficiencies he has parlayed to "a heartbeat away..."

A rising river may not raise all kayaks, but if it's JD commanding the raising it'll sure as hell raise his! Got that, John Solomon? Good.

Andrew M. Shaw's avatar

Considering that our VP has taken 7 luxury vacations in 6 months -- at taxpayer expense -- the Republic would be a lot better​ off if he just stayed home and smoked his (fentanyl) base...

Owlftr13's avatar

Fake news! I have it on good authority that VP JD Vance has no butthole. Let's try and do better.

Allen Flanigan's avatar

Water releases typically tend to make whitewater activity like rafting or canoeing more enjoyable or challenging, but yeah,if the water level is really low you often do end up dealing with shallow spots or worse, impassable sections you have to portage around

Marycat2021's avatar

Some people do swim with shirts on. They tend to be people with very fair skin.

John Santos's avatar

It didn't work out so well for Xerxes, just sayin'.

BrianW's avatar

Well we know Couchfucker Vance can’t do normal things. I mean, look at the guy. QED.

Robert Eckert's avatar

Fun fact: there are, really, no lakes in Ohio. Everything called a "lake" in Ohio is a manmade reservoir.

Demodocus's avatar

Vance is a loser asshole with a Little Lord complex but he may have less crazy reasons than Jesus for swimming with a shirt on. My dad wore shirts in the pool because he was embarrassed that the steroid-based asthma meds had given him much too much adipose tissue on his chest; people used to pick on him about his "boobs". My son's just worried about sunburns ever since he got a particularly nasty one.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Hillbillys in kayaks?

As I recall hillbillies do not actually ever go into running water for any reason.

Biff52 Lost Canadian's avatar

Hear those banjos? Paddle faster!

Diane's Less Hostile Username's avatar

Well, today is my last day with my weak-sauce keurig that makes weak-sauce coffee; my nespresso machine comes in the mail today. I'll use the "complimentary" pods that comes with it until my Peets pods come in on Sunday. Stronger coffee is going to be the highlight of my life very soon. Plus, I read really good reviews about the machine I bought. I'm not really sure what makes a coffee pot "good". Does it pour water over the beans and make a flavorful cup? Well then it's a good coffee maker as far as I am concerned, even those $10 minis can be good. My keurig? Not good. Why have I been torturing myself for the past year and a half?

Tomorrow, I made the drive down to Austin for a assignation with kink partner. Supposedly he's closing his shop today, but he hasn't mentioned much about it since we last talked. He moves even slower to get things done than even I do, so I doubt his plan to close the shop by today will come to fruition. At some point, the landlord will lock him out, I suppose. When I raised that wife him, he became very unhappy, so hopefully he's thinking forward a bit, which he doesn't really ever do.

Today is payday and all my bills are paid so I say, "Good job Diane for fooling a company into hiring you into a job you can barely do but are pretty good at barely doing." My boss hates me after a recent flub on my part and who knows if she'll come back around on me. Fortunately, as projects go, we have enough that the company needs the staff. Am I just dealing with imposter syndrome and actually a good worker who is good at their job? Doubtful, I've never managed to hold down a job this long (12 years) before. But, I keep doing my job and nobody has fired me yet because I usually fix my mistakes when I make them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Demodocus's avatar

we've a single-mug coffee maker where you put the grounds straight into the cup with the metal filter; no pods. Works for Mr Demi & is reasonably blind friendly. He prefers the french press, tho, and we usually have time for me to make it (none of the liquid level indicators we've tried have long enough prongs for him to pour it without scalding himself. He gets the kettle going & pours second cups when the tea & coffee are no longer scalding

Noma Larkey's avatar

I think our Keurig is on it's last legs. It takes forever to brew a cup (yes, I've cleaned it). I'll have to check out the Nespresso.

paul's avatar

I hate to say it, but it seems like if we want a competitive POTUS candidate, it's going to have to be a white guy- considering the fascist way we are going. I supported, donated to and voted for Harris. I just see that is where we are now and for this particular election, centrist might be the way to go.

Peon's avatar

"Guy" might be sufficient. I think in 2024 misogyny ruled the day.

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

Sok, here is the thing.

IF this country can get its shit together and actually vote the fascists out (big if) we use alllllll these fun new powers and toys the right has given us and basically strip the entire right wing of....everything. All grants, all contracts, all government jerbs. Everything. OH, and expand the courts and pack it to the fucking wall.

And the first time the press opens its mouth to whine, we yank their creds for being obvious propaganda.

Then we send a bill to these chucklefucks for the shit they pulled for personal gain, like JD and his lifted butt. He don't pay, he loses his ss detail and garnish his pension

Steely_Fan's avatar

I think Josh Marshall agrees with you - it's paywalled but here's the money quote:

"What I would like to hear more clearly is that with this or that criminal or unconstitutional action, the next time Democrats control the government the actions will be reversed and those who acted criminally will be prosecuted."

The Fires Next Time

https://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/the-fires-next-time

Assigned Cute at Birth's avatar

I fully intend to push for the next Democratic president to get their fingers in the religious high schools and universities these clowns created. Fair is fair.

Stulexington's avatar

Oh, and anything Congress though it allocated money for gets cancelled if the left doesn't like it, and DHS gets a big 0 in its budget and everything they have in the bank gets clawed back.

Noma Larkey's avatar

This! It’s exactly what R’s did.

Mateo del Sol's avatar

In an ideal world, this would be the case. But Democratic leadership does not appear to have the wherewithal to do anything like this.

Any slight movement to the left that may cost donors - or worse, voters - is anathema. The situation in NYC is indicative enough of that.

I'd like Dems to grow a spine, I really would. that won''t happen until they stop listening to consultants.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

"stop listening to consultants." This right here. It isn't the 1990s anymore.

Mateo del Sol's avatar

Like a week or two ago there was that NYTimes article where it was literally just consultants from the Bill Clinton campaign. From that exact period.

We're using a decades-old playbook full of nonviable strategies, wondering how we keep losing shit.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

We don’t wonder. The fact is the party keeps PAYING these “advisors” to lose fucking elections. If I was a CONSPIRACY minded individual, I’d postulate that those “advisers” are Heritage Foundation sleeper agents.

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

Well right now they can't really do anything so I am, temporarily, giving them a "we did not give them any power" pass.

But that of course does not excuse when they had power, and squandered it. But yet again, that was before these new powers the right wing insists they suddenly have. I am just saying if the right has them, and the press is bending over backward to say it is just a "debate" and what not, than we can use em too. And we had better do so.

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

Edit: also, I just dug 25 holes yesterday after a two month hiatus so I may not be in peak mental condition XD Goddamn I am old. And out of shape.

Bobathonic's avatar

Jen digs holes, *with her mind*!

< theremin plays >

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

I'd say the "exercise" sharpened your mind.

good_duck's avatar

Good morning!

#Worldle #1295 (08.08.2025) 2/6 (100%)

🔥 Current Streak: 11 days

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https://worldle.teuteuf.fr/share

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Next time get rid of the Electoral College ...

𝗣𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗨𝗦 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸𝘀 𝘁𝗼 '𝗰𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗼𝗿'

Nothing to see here - just removing that old Emoluments Clause and habeas corpus

https://www.theregister.com/2025/08/07/feds_says_coding_error_deleted/

Shocktreatment's avatar

"We'll try again next month. Maybe during an outrage!"

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

"We didn't think you'd notice those"

JCfromNC's avatar

Poor Ruri, this week she's learning that quartz comes in a lot of varieties with a lot of names -- jasper, agate, and chalcedony.

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

Thought jasper and chalcedony were cherts?

Or is chert a quartz?

Martini Glambassador's avatar

This is one of those things that I probably should know more about, given my bench jewelry career, but the answer is... yes and no.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalcedony

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

rofl

All I know is it is way easier to knap than what I think of as quartz XD

Here in this part of VA the stereotypical quartz is the local stone the indigenous people used for tool manufacture. And while gorgeous, goddamn that shit is hard to work. Serious tip of the hat to our pre-contact artisans

JCfromNC's avatar

I am not a rock hound and I do not know the answer to that. But according to this show, chalcedony is basically agate that didn't form bands, and jasper is a type of opaque agate and chalcedony.

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

Interesting

Google of course is saying both are true, so that was helpful

Bobathonic's avatar

The always-correct internet wins again!

JCfromNC's avatar

Oh, and they said jasper has more impurities than agate or chalcedony, which I guess is why they refer to it as opaque.

Jen's Taking Greenland's avatar

Makes sense XD though I really thought cherts, including jasper and chalchedony, were more from hyper condensed limestone than quartz which I think is volcanic? Or something.

What I am saying is I seem to need a buff up on my rocks

Bobathonic's avatar

None of us took Rocks For Jocks! 🤪

PrimerGray's avatar

I thought Jasper and Chalcedony were the newlywed Mennonite couple on the far side of town.

Bobathonic's avatar

Yes it does. I have a quartz backgammon set that I bought in Mexico in 1980. It's the onyx form of quartz.