'Baby's Snatch' Ends Hilariously With Classic Government Restraint

That whole Teabagger baby-stealing episode is finally over, and the child has been given to its parents, even though those parents still do not have custody of two previous children, who are now in foster care because a judge ruled the father had abused one of them. This is confusing all the Teabaggers who were ready to launch an insurrection against the government for "snatching baby's," because the government is actually restraining itself here, even though that may not turn out to be in the best interests of the child, who is still a U.S. citizen the government has some responsibility to protect from being assaulted or killed. It's hard for the Teabaggers to believe the big, scary government would actually give the parents a chance to care for this child without beating it, so they won't think about it. Instead, they will focus on an insane accusation that GOVMINT AGENTS RAPED THAT BABY.

This reunion is touching:

Tensions rose when Johnathon Irish's father, John Irish, told a reporter within earshot of Johnathon Irish that his son had spent a portion of his childhood in facilities for juveniles and had gotten in trouble with the law. He added that Johnathon Irish deserved to be scrutinized by the state.

"DCYF was acting properly to protect that child," said John Irish, who said he's been estranged from his son for at least five years. "There were two other children who were also taken from their home."

Johnathon Irish, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses, then approached his father, standing inches from his face.

These people are basically the living embodiment of Nathan Hale.

Taylor and Irish said they are still fighting to regain custody of the two boys.

Meanwhile, the couple will begin raising their daughter. They sat in McDonald's eating burgers and fries while waiting for 4 p.m., the time Haskell was due to pick Cheyenne up at the police department.

Please click through to the story and see the gut bearing a "9/11 was an inside job t-shirt" standing next to the new happy family.

And of course, here is the brilliant rape theory a Teabagger sent to us:

This story has taken a pretty heavy turn, and I'd have all you that mock this struggling family know that it's looking like THE BABY WAS PROBABLY RAPED in the care of either the CPS or of the foster family it went to. Baby Cheyanne is being seen by a sexual assault specialist this afternoon after CPS, in the presence of the family, found BLOOD seeping from the newborn's private areas. The deputy is reportedly interviewing the foster family today. MOCK AWAY YOU SICKOS - THE GOVT KNOWS WHAT'S BEST RIGHT? I'm really starting to wonder if this is the soft of banter one would hear in Nazi Germany before the fit hit the shan.

Yep. That's definitely what happened. (And nice save avoiding that swear at the end! Jesus almost got mad at you!) [ Concord Monitor via Reason ]