This post sponsored by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spills, Fracking, Clean Coal, Dirty Lies, and Laying Pipe In keeping with his pledge to focus on "things that both sides can agree on," brand new Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is promising that the very first bill to go before the Senate this week will mandate the building of the Keystone XL pipeline, that vitally important project that will employ everyone between Canada and Louisiana and ensure energy independence -- and possibly even free gasoline -- for the United States. Or maybe it's a hugely disruptive project that will employ a few thousand people while it's being built and will move Canadian oil across America so it can be refined in Gulf Coast refineries and then mostly exported. It's definitely one of those, and the Republicans want it a lot, so now that they have a majority in both chambers of Congress, by god, they're going to pass it.
Their numbers are all cooked, anyways- Trans Canada used something called man-years to derive their employment estimates. Essentially, one person employed for two years counts as two jobs. They also cheated and used jobs created by other pipeline projects, as well as counting potential jobs created by the Canadian portion of this pipeline toward their U.S. jobs estimates. The State Department's wildly inflated jobs estimate also uses this same fuzzy math (they used much of Trans Canada's data without even double checking the numbers) and included indirect jobs definitions that defy logic- basically every nut and bolt used to build it, plus every brick and tile to build a Mickey D's or Arby's that might be built to feed a construction worker was counted as a job created by the pipeline. They included pipe manufacturing as American jobs to be created even though Trans Canada has already contracted foreign companies to build the pipe.
Factor in the measly 50 or so permanent jobs, the serious risk of widespread environmental catastrophe from a leak from a company notorious for pipeline leaks, the tons of air pollution refining all that toxic tar sand will cause (how about we tell Trans Canada to refine their dirty shit before that pump it across our entire country and our main aquifer? Let the local Canadians breathe that crap), the fact that none of it will likely end up in American gas pumps anyways and the fact that the pipeline could very well lead to higher gas prices in the Midwest, once Midwestern refineries have a convenient way to transport locally produced oil to the more lucrative international market (ironically, those spot market price spikes could really hurt grain belt farmers and result in overall net negative jobs for Keystone, according to a Cornell study) and it makes absolutely zero sense to approve this boondoggle. Of course people like John Boehner and the Koch brothers stand to profit handsomely if it's approved, so it has become priority number one to the GOP (after appealing O-care and impeaching the Kenyan usurper)
To be clear, the bill will do nothing to actually advance the pipeline project. The Keystone project is privately-funded, and will not involve any Federal appropriations. The approval of the pipeline isn't in the hands of Congress. It involves a Canadian company building crude oil transport infrastructure that traverses US territory, and consequently it will require approval by the US State Department. Its fate will not be determined by any act of Congress, but by a decision from the Obama administration. The bill in question is simply a recommendation, conveying the sense of Congress. The President is under no Constitutional obligation to comply with it regardless of whether or when it is passed.
Next up: Finding common ground we can all agree on for banning birth control, abortions, gay marriage, and voting rights!
I want one of those big rubber stamps, like Bob Barker had on "The Price is Right" for voiding the big novelty check.
He struck me as a tweeter. High pitched and incoherent even at 140 characters.
I gotta say, I'm enjoying Eye-Rolling Professor Obama. Hope he keeps the big red pen out and ready for these dweebs.
I hope it's several veto pens, so everyone present gets one as a memento, like regular bill signings.
Their numbers are all cooked, anyways- Trans Canada used something called man-years to derive their employment estimates. Essentially, one person employed for two years counts as two jobs. They also cheated and used jobs created by other pipeline projects, as well as counting potential jobs created by the Canadian portion of this pipeline toward their U.S. jobs estimates. The State Department's wildly inflated jobs estimate also uses this same fuzzy math (they used much of Trans Canada's data without even double checking the numbers) and included indirect jobs definitions that defy logic- basically every nut and bolt used to build it, plus every brick and tile to build a Mickey D's or Arby's that might be built to feed a construction worker was counted as a job created by the pipeline. They included pipe manufacturing as American jobs to be created even though Trans Canada has already contracted foreign companies to build the pipe.
Factor in the measly 50 or so permanent jobs, the serious risk of widespread environmental catastrophe from a leak from a company notorious for pipeline leaks, the tons of air pollution refining all that toxic tar sand will cause (how about we tell Trans Canada to refine their dirty shit before that pump it across our entire country and our main aquifer? Let the local Canadians breathe that crap), the fact that none of it will likely end up in American gas pumps anyways and the fact that the pipeline could very well lead to higher gas prices in the Midwest, once Midwestern refineries have a convenient way to transport locally produced oil to the more lucrative international market (ironically, those spot market price spikes could really hurt grain belt farmers and result in overall net negative jobs for Keystone, according to a Cornell study) and it makes absolutely zero sense to approve this boondoggle. Of course people like John Boehner and the Koch brothers stand to profit handsomely if it's approved, so it has become priority number one to the GOP (after appealing O-care and impeaching the Kenyan usurper)
It's gonna be fun watching the R's not get their way - Oh. Wait.
But if we can make wax from petroleum, we can save the turtles!
It doesn't mix with water, therefore, oil spills can't possibly harm water supplies!
(Kinda surprised we haven't heard this kind of science explanation yet)
Well, the good news is he'd have to have Roberts killed first.
The maze is so small, people get lost looking for it.
Not to worry. We'll just increase their subsidy.
To be clear, the bill will do nothing to actually advance the pipeline project. The Keystone project is privately-funded, and will not involve any Federal appropriations. The approval of the pipeline isn't in the hands of Congress. It involves a Canadian company building crude oil transport infrastructure that traverses US territory, and consequently it will require approval by the US State Department. Its fate will not be determined by any act of Congress, but by a decision from the Obama administration. The bill in question is simply a recommendation, conveying the sense of Congress. The President is under no Constitutional obligation to comply with it regardless of whether or when it is passed.