Bari Weiss Will Capitalize On First Loser Town Hall By Doing MORE Loser Town Halls!

Giving the 12 people who watched the first one what they want!

Dec 18, 2025

It turns out that Bari Weiss is bad at everything. Shockingly, being an uninteresting contrarian with no nose for news, zero discernible personality, and a perpetual stick up your ass about all the things in the beginning of this sentence don’t quite equip you to be the editor-in-chief of CBS News, the network that used to be home to Walter Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow.

Oh, and she isn’t very good on TV, which sucks, since it turns out all she really wants is to be on TV.

The hilariously lousy ratings for her “town hall” with JonBenet Scamsey or the Widow of Chucky or whatever you want to call the equally un-compelling Er*ka K*rk have apparently convinced Weiss that when you’re running a network into the ground, the only proper course of action is to keep digging. So she’s going to do more “town halls,” with equally un-compelling guests, about subjects nobody who matters cares about. They are, on the other hand, the kinds of subjects hopelessly online weirdos like Bari Weiss care about. So look forward to more ratings bonanzas!

CBS News editor-in-chief Bari Weiss is looking to make her mark on the network news division, launching a series of primetime town halls and debates alongside Weiss’ The Free Press under the banner “Things That Matter.”
CBS says that Vice President JD Vance, Maryland Governor Wes Moore, and OpenAI CEO Sam Altman have all agreed to participate in the town halls, with the debates set to address topics like “Does America Need God?” “Has Feminism Failed Women?” and “Should Gen Z Believe in the American Dream?”
CBS has lined up people like Isabel Brown and Harry Sisson to debate the American dream, Steven Pinker and Ross Douthat to debate the God question, and Liz Plank and Allie Beth Stuckey to debate the feminism question.

Allie Beth Stuckey. The cretinous blonde Serena Joy who thinks the problem with Christianity in America is that it’s too motherfucking Christlike.

Ross Douthat. The one with the neckbeard who looks like if premature ejaculation was a person.

JD Vance, also with the neckbeard AND who shouldn’t be allowed to live within 1,000 feet of an Ashley Furniture Homestore without first registering with the authorities.

Man, those Nielsen households are so getting so fucking hard right now, bet they can’t WAIT to watch more Bari-Vision!

“We believe that the vast majority of Americans crave honest conversation and civil, passionate debate,” said Weiss in a statement.

You can tell by how all the topics are framed in explicitly right-wing terms. You know, like that one podcaster did debates, before he stopped being alive.

“This series is for them.”

For the 12 people who tuned in to watch said late podcaster’s wife try to cry on cue? Cool.

Yeah, Bari Weiss is a real fuckup.

Ever since that inbred-looking Ellison spawn who looks like the lovechild of a cartoon buzzard and a prolapsed asshole brought Weiss in to de-woke-ify CBS News, Weiss has been fucking it all up.

She announced the “town hall” with Grifterella, and immediately CBS News staffers started blabbing about it. “How embarrassing,” said one to the Independent. “Bari’s been Editor-in-Chief for five seconds and has revealed that all she really wants is to be on TV herself.” That person added:

“It doesn’t get more toe-curling than this,” the staffer said. “David Ellison must be mortified by his $150 million investment in someone who’s so quickly revealed themselves to be the most shallow, least interesting person in TV news.”

Then the incredibly boring event came and went — after CBS News had spent days obsessively flogging it, like it was the “get” of the century — and it turns out nobody watched. Because these people aren’t fucking interesting.

It brought in a whopping 1.9 million viewers, and it really shit the bed among the 25-54 demo, AKA the demo advertisers care about. But hey, maybe more people will tune in to watch Allie Beth Stuckey whine about how “There are evil spiritual principalities at work” on Halloween, GAY demon principalities, or about how “most of our problems, a huge portion of problems in society are caused by premarital and extramarital sex.”

Maybe everybody will want to watch Ross Douthat and JD Vance pick dried jizz out of their neckbeards.

Or maybe Bari Weiss’s judgment is for shit and she’s bad at everything.

Status reports (paywall) that she was planning on a triumphant internal town hall at CBS News after her thing with what’s-her-name, something about her big plans for the future of the news network she has failed upward to be in charge of. Now she is not having that town hall. But it’s not just that the ratings themselves sucked. Apparently they are upset over at CBS about the narrative about their shitty ratings, which suggests that, as usual, the anti-woke, anti-DEI losers are demanding to be graded on a curve:

A New York Post report on the prime time special’s performance, headlined, “Bari Weiss’ town hall with Erika Kirk saw ratings plummet as CBS News editor-in-chief debuts on-screen,” particularly struck a nerve, I’m told. It also didn’t help that the network’s sub-2 million prime time audience came after the Army-Navy football game, which drew an average of 7.3 million viewers in the hours prior.

LOL, whine, whatever. She’s in over her head and she’s bad at everything.

Sorry about all this, ghosts of Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite! If it makes y’all feel any better, watching these people fail is very funny.

And we get to watch that!

OPEN THREAD.

[Hollywood Reporter / Independent / Status]

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