Batboy vs Turtle: Rick Scott Thinks He's Going To Take Out Mitch McConnell

Lotsa luck, fella.

Donald Trump cost the GOP the Senate, and there ain't a person in DC who doesn't know it. He consistently put his own venal interests above the good of the Republican Party, saddling it with crappy candidates whose only virtue was loyalty to him, and he spurned effective politicians who dared cross him.

There was no reason in the world for the de facto leader of the party to back a challenger to Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski, although she's likely to win anyway. And if Trump hadn't shit all over Arizona's Republican Governor Doug Ducey and Attorney General Mark Brnovich for refusing to lie and say that the 2020 election was stolen in their state, Ducey might have mounted a real campaign against Democratic Senator Mark Kelly and Brnovich would probably have beaten out Katie Hobbs in a gubernatorial run. Instead, Trump foisted Blake Masters and Kari Lake on them, and the party got all but wiped out in Arizona. And if Senator Raphael Warnock can hold off walking concussion Herschel Walker, we'll actually pick up a seat in the Senate.

This midterm was a disaster for the GOP, and they all know who's at fault. But because loyalty to Trump is the only thing that matters now, they've all got to find someone else to blame. And if they can advance their own political ambitions by fixating on a convenient scapegoat, so much the better. Which is how Florida Senator Rick Scott wound up announcing a leadership challenge to Senator Mitch McConnell at yesterday's party lunch.

 Slate reports that the weekly event, which usually lasts less than two hours, stretched to almost four as twerps like Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley aired their grievances with McConnell and his deputy John Thune. Cruz has already gone on a White Claw-fueled bender to bitch that McConnell didn't love bomb Blake Masters with money — as if Jesus and a U-Haul full of gold ingots could have pushed that creep over the line.

“Because Masters said he would vote against Mitch McConnell, and so Mitch would rather be leader than have a Republican majority," Cruz raged. “If there’s a Republican who can win, who’s not gonna support Mitch, the truth of the matter is he’d rather the Democrat win. So he pulled all the money out of Arizona.”

 Ted Cruz Hates Mitch McConnell For Losing Midterms, Should Probably Hate Himself Instead 

Josh Hawley's first and only concern is Josh Hawley, who he is convinced will one day be president. The Missouri senator is only delighted to pick a fight with McConnell, if only to burnish his MAGA bona fides with the people who cheer when Trump calls the majority leader an "old crow" and makes disgustingly racist comments about his wife.

But Scott is perhaps the oddest man to remonstrate with McConnell, since Scott was head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee during this debacle. Scott has faced criticism for months over his leadership at the NRSC, which prioritized fundraising and which seemed to function more as a PR outlet for him than a vehicle for the party to promote its candidates. And, as the Times's Shane Goldmacher notes , the NRSC put out a fundraising appeal yesterday which allocated 99 cents of every dollar raised "for" Herschel Walker to the Committee itself. McConnell allies Senators Marsha Blackburn and Thom Tillis are demanding an audit of the NRSC, while spokesdorks for the SLF and NRSC duked it out on Twitter.

“Your TV buy was barely 350 GRP in ATL. But don’t worry little buddy—we’re used to covering for you. https: //t.co/YCsU9wzvtJ”

— Steven Law (@Steven Law) 1668543612 

Unlike McConnell, who runs the Senate Leadership Fund, Scott refused to take sides in the primary, blithely predicting that his party would pick up six seats, even as it embraced a slate of crappy candidates it didn't vet or choose. This was probably because Scott didn't want to risk getting crosswise with Trump again — that fruit bowl trick probably won't work twice. But whatever the reason, he failed to nut up and ensure that Republican nominees weren't unelectable weirdos, even as McConnell was trying desperately to hold down the fort.

“This weekend I was proud to recognize President Donald Trump with the inaugural @NRSC Champion for Freedom Award. President Trump fought for American workers, secured the border, and protected our constitutional rights. https: //t.co/4jjy88FRVr”

— Rick Scott (@Rick Scott) 1618235723 

Scott is also the brain genius who put out "An 11 Point Plan to Rescue America" which was not onlyhilariously illegal but which would raise taxes on half the country and automatically sunset all federal laws, including those which establish Social Security and Medicare.

 NRSC Chair Rick Scott Would Like To Remind America How Much GOP Policies SUCK 

 Rick Scott Clarifies: I Want To Hurt You, Like A Lot 

The caucus is meeting now to vote for majority leader. In a "Dear Colleague" letter announcing his bid for the job, Scott took some very unsubtle swipes at McConnell.

Since my first week in the Senate, I have listened to complaints about how the Senate operates. Some say there is not a way for their views to be heard. Some say we should work to unite Republicans and not Democrats. Some say we should use regular order to pass bills, which would give Senators the opportunity to debate amendments on the floor and provide input into legislation. Some are concerned we are not passing budgets or prioritizing spending bills. Some are concerned we don't do enough to force votes on priorities with majority support in our Conference. Some believe we don't have a positive message to run on. Some believe we don't hold the executive branch accountable. Some believe we constantly give in to the Democrats and have no backbone. Some believe we should not make deals with Chuck Schumer that a majority of our Conference members disagree with. Some question why we are presented large spending bills we have never read or had input into and are expected to vote for them on short notice to prevent a government shutdown. Some wonder why we have little coordination with Republican House members. Some feel pressured to vote for bills that are either against their core beliefs and what they campaigned on or against the best interests of their state. Some believe Republican donor funds are only used to help those who support leadership. Some believe we don't take advantage of the opportunities presented to move the Republican message forward. And then there are some that are happy with the way things are going.

Some say that's all well and good, but that asshole didn't exactly cover himself in glory this cycle either.

“I like Rick a lot. I think he’s a great senator,” North Dakota Senator Kevin Cramer said . “But if you’re going to assess blame for election losses, I don’t know how you trade in the leader for the chairman of the NRSC. That’s just sort of basic for me.”

Meanwhile, McConnell just rolled his eyes.

“I have the votes. I will be elected. The only issue is whether it will be sooner or later,” McConnell told Politico . “I don’t own this job. Anybody in the conference that’s serving can challenge me. And I welcome [it].”

Let them fight dot gif!

[ Slate / Politico / Politico ]

Follow Liz Dye on Twitter!

Click the widget to keep your Wonkette ad-free and feisty. And if you're ordering from Amazon, use this link, because reasons .