Interesting juxtaposition at the intersection of pop culture and the political news this day after New Year’s Day.
Start with this tweet Ron Filipkowski captured:
That would be MAGA creep Georgia Republican Rep. Mike Collins tweeting, “Vanilla Ice > Green Day.” It doesn’t matter whether he actually believes it or not. It’s gag-yourself-with-a-spoon depressing either way, believing that truly, or being forced to pretend out loud that you believe it.
So, if you’ve missed the New Year’s Eve news, two big things happened:
Green Day performed on the big Rockin’ New Year’s Eve show and they changed the words of “American Idiot” to say “I’m not part of a MAGA agenda” instead of “I’m not part of a redneck agenda.” (Arguably the change was unnecessary.) This is obviously the most offensive thing that has ever happened, if you are a sad white MAGA sucker with no self esteem like the song by fellow ‘90s rockers The Offspring.
Mar-a-Lago threw the most pathetic New Year’s party in actual human history. The headliners were Vanilla Ice and one (1) guy in a Ninja Turtle costume, and we are all supposed to pretend these were the first numbers they called when it was time to book the entertainment.
Hence “Vanilla Ice > Green Day.”
We could play that game where we look up how successful Green Day has been vis-à-vis Vanilla Ice, how many millions of records sold, how many hit Broadway musicals, but fuck off. This is self-evidently pathetic.
Speaking of Elon Musk!
He is not only very upset that Green Day changed the lyric, he is trying to say Green Day is the “machine” and he and his band of drooling incels are TEH REBELSSSSS who rage against them.
“Not the Bee,” which is where the Babylon Bee writes real news but still isn’t funny, tweeted, “Green Day tried to prove they’re still cool by changing their lyrics to slam the ‘MAGA agenda’ on TV last night.” Thus saith the well-known arbiters of what is cool, “Not the Bee.”
And Elon, who follows accounts like that, replied, “Green Day goes from raging against the machine to milquetoastedly raging for it LAUGHING UNTIL CRYING EMOJI LAUGHING UNTIL CRYING EMOJI.”
As we all know, that emoji is the universal sign for pretending to laugh but really being ANGRIER AT THE MACHINE THAN YOU’VE EVER BEEN.
Also, “milquetoastedly.” No comment necessary.
It’s worth pointing out that Elon Musk, who is still we guess the richest man in the world, is very mad at The Green Day Industrial Complex on the same day the news is reporting that Fidelity, one of Elon’s biggest investors in the Twitter deal, has recently downgraded the value of its shares 71.5 percent below what they were when Elon bought it. Do the math and that is a metric shitload of money Elon has made disappear forever.
So that happened.
The Mar-a-Lago party? Good god, we do not even know what to say.
Here is your video of Donald Trump angrily not dancing to “Ice Ice Baby,” which was being performed onstage by its original artist, who was there.
Lee Greenwood was there and he sang that shitty song that makes Gomers cry, and Roger Stone was there, and Trump’s lawyer Alina Habba and Judge Jeanine were there, and reportedly the MyPillow Guy and Rudy Giuliani, but nobody snapped any paparazzi shots of those two, we guess.
Eric and Lara Trump attended. She wore this gown that, let’s say, displeased some of her MAGA insta followers, who filled her comments basically calling her a whore, but in that white Christian lady way that says “Lara you are absolutely gorgeous you don’t need a dress like this!” and “The dress is a no, not classy. We need amazing role models for young women, not another Taylor Swift,” instead of just spelling the word “whore.”
Also, we don’t know how to say this, but the pic in question may be the handsomest picture Eric has ever taken. He looks normal! It’s weird. We’d show it to you here, but we promised not to.
So that happened.
That’s the sad juxtaposition. Mar-a-Lago’s party was dreadfully pathetic, and Green Day murdered all the MAGA people by saying something mean, but don’t worry, they got better.
Fox News is, of course, being extremely sad and thirsty about every bit of this, pretending out of one side of its mouth that “people are so sick of being preached at about politics from rock bands,” while simultaneously being the network that brings on complete losers like DJ Pauly D and Fabio, in a desperate attempt to pretend they all matter.
Of course, these are people for whom Kid Rock is a cultural icon. Guess he wasn’t avails for the Mar-a-Lago shebang, though. :(
Try-hard Republican Rep. Kat Cammack went on Fox Business this morning and tried out the talking point, “nothing is better under Joe Biden’s America, heck, even Anderson Cooper is doing shots on live television.” So that is just the saddest thing we have ever heard, in a blog post full of the saddest things we’ve ever heard. It strongly suggests nobody has ever invited Cammack to a New Year’s Eve party, or any party, or a restaurant, or their house, in her life. We get it, because she seriously does not seem cool. But still so sad.
Finally, speaking of Anderson Cooper and speaking of drinking on TV — THANKS JOE BIDEN — here’s Anderson and Andy Cohen being deliciously petty and mean about Elon right there during the CNN New Year’s broadcast. That’ll be a good place to end this post.
[videos via Ron Filipkowski / Aaron Rupar]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
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“milquetoastedly.”
Stares motherfuckedly.
𝘌𝘳𝘪𝘤 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘭𝘦𝘵’𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘺, 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘔𝘈𝘎𝘈 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴 “𝘓𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴!” 𝘢𝘯𝘥 “𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘯𝘰, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘺. 𝘞𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘛𝘢𝘺𝘭𝘰𝘳 𝘚𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘵,” 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 “𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦.”
Between this and Robyn's story from last week about that crappy MAGA beer company's pinup calendar, seems like conservative ladies are leaning heavily into slut-shaming each other for 2024.