Ben Carson Wakes Up From Nap To Share Weird Dream He Had About Supreme Court
It felt so real!
Rejoice, fellow Americans, for Ben Carson is awake and alive and still running for president, apparently! And he has heard the tragic news of the untimely demise ( OR WAS IT MURDER?! ) of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. Does he have thoughts? Sort of, yes!
For one thing, he knows his fellow Republicans would not be demanding the so-called "president" wait to appoint Scalia's replacement until another president can do it instead if the current "president" were, say, not President Blackman BAMZ! O'Libtard. But! BUT ! Republicans do have a fair point in their completely unprecedented preemptive obstructionism, sayeth Carson:
Recognize that the two picks that the president has selected are ideologues. So there's really no reason to believe that his next pick wouldn't be an ideologue also.
[contextly_sidebar id="vyBfsCGRsfqhymhuF5FphG8fEsaYKtQW"]Certainly citizens of all political stripes can agree that Antonin Scalia, known as the fairest-minded neutral umpire swing vote jurist in American history, should not be replaced by an ideologue, which we assume is Carsonian for "girl judge." Unless that ideologue is the reanimated corpse of Antonin Scalia, obviously.
However, Scalia has raised some very important issues, by dying:
You know, it kind of highlights one of the problems that we have, and that is that the Supreme Court has become a political tool. That wasn't the intention originally, when things were put together.
When things (like the judicial branch) were put together (in the Constitution), author Thomas Jefferson never intended for the Supreme Court to be packed with lady-chicks of the vaginal persuasion. Nor was the Court ever intended to be used for political purposes, such as, to name a completely random example, whining in a dissent about the inevitable destruction of America if we allow grown-ass adults to consensually fuck each other in their buttholes. Furthermore:
And I think we need to relook at the whole Supreme Court issue, because it has become completely different than was intended. And we need to be looking at term limits for Supreme Court justices, when we enacted that program the average age of death was 47.
Nailed it, Dr. Carson! That's the real problem, right there. When we enacted the program of the American United States of Us, we did not have neurosurgeons like Ben Carson defying the will of God to keep court justices like Scalia alive a lot longer than was necessary. Scalia ought to have died decades ago, as our founders would have wanted.
Thus, it is appropriate and necessary that we relook at the Constitution -- an act that would definitely NOT cause Scalia to drag his zombie self out of his own grave to protest such jiggery pokery -- to remedy the problem of Scalia living for too many years.
Rest assured, citizens, when Ben Carson is president, he will find a way to fix the whole program that was put together, so that Justice Scalia is never allowed to die (OR BE MURDERED!) at the superfluous ripe old age of 79 ever again.
[ BuzzFeed ]
Sure, life expectancy at birth for the whole population is always totally representative of that of the elite.
That's why there's such a close relationship between Carson's 47 and the age at which the first Chief Justice, John Jay, died (83). Of course, Jay only sat on the bench for 6 years before resigning to run for Governor of New York, but that has nothing to do with life expectancy.
Clearly all the Founding Fathers were dead and buried long before John Marshall served 34 years as Chief Justice and it's only for that reason they didn't do anything about the possibility that a life appointment could mean a long time. Oh, wait, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were alive the first 25 years of his term. Huh! Obviously John Adams wasn't paying attention, I mean it's not like he appointed the guy or anything... OR IS IT? (Yes, it is).
I don't know whether Carson's cited life expectancy of 47 is accurate, but if it is that was average for everybody, certainly not average for Supreme Court Justices. The average life span of Washington's original 5 Justices was almost 69 years old. John Jay lived to 83, and William Cushing served for over 20 years. And the issue of lifetime appointments isn't that big of a deal considering in the last 60 years, only Scalia and Rehnquist have died in office while 17 other Justices have retired or resigned.