195 Comments
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DahBoner's avatar

My guess is a toxic cocktail of Kools, Night train, "2, 5-Dimethoxy-4-methylamphetamine", Alligator, Spice, PCP and a Toxoplasma cyst brain infection.

just_jim's avatar

Not one of the lizard people?

King Honkey's avatar

At the very end he says he'll DEFUND the U.N.? There can't be this much stupid here. It HAS TO BE the most elegant trolling of all time, right? Brain surgery isn't something you should ever do in the mirror at home, ever (even if you have the old Rosemary Kennedy DIY kit).

Astrid, Princess of the Night's avatar

Question: How can Ben "Mr. Magoo" Carson be at once an Uncle Tom (shoot me now) for supporting the Republican- plutocracy driven mandate of voter ID laws, while simultaneously being a budding fascist for putting the hammer down on the First Amendment of the Constitution regarding free speech? What kind of chimera is he? The perfect candidate, obvs.

Astrid, Princess of the Night's avatar

Methinks someone performed experimental brain surgery on the good doctor. Up the nose. And rather more roughly than was traditionally required to exact results.

Astrid, Princess of the Night's avatar

"I think I love you, but what am I so afraid of, I'm afraid there is no cure for, a love that I'm not sure of" Oh, god, dating myself again...

Astrid, Princess of the Night's avatar

I love you for your mind, not just your *ahem* other assets... marry me

Duke's avatar

I still think the Republican candidates are buffoons, but I'm starting to get a tad worried.

King Honkey's avatar

I was thinking more like a brain relocation from the cranial vault to the rectal cavity.

Brianna is WOKE AF's avatar

He is an idiot savant. It's the only explanation.

JAWs's avatar

And plus those politically correct dweebs keep insisting that you should have, like, a license or something to practice medicine. Like what's up with that? These liberal fascists obviously have an extreme bias against the incompetent.

LegionOfDo's avatar

After hearing the phrase, "Mr. President, you can't do that. I mean you literally can't do that!" for the thousandth time, Carson would resign the presidency. I'd give that about 48 hours.

JAWs's avatar

You know the more i hear from "Doctor" Ben Carlson, the more i'm convinced he "earned" his medical degree by getting lucky at the claw machine in the arcade.

Rickyphoo's avatar

OT, but seriously, I can not get past the picture of the old lady with shit coming out of her forehead! First of all, Ewwww! Second, am I the only one thinking shithead? Also, too, that she could be the poster woman for the teabagger party?

Ryan Denniston's avatar

I'm starting to wonder if we're going to see a candidate go full Gestapo, or if we'll have to wait until 2020.