485 Comments

I don't like taking classes online, either, but I also don't want to end up on a ventilator. Your daughter made the right choice, even though it sucks to be her right now.

Expand full comment

Rollerball, baby!

Expand full comment

8-TRACK TAPES LIBELZ!!!1! (The rest of that shit is horrible.)

Expand full comment

"#WeWantToPlay"? I get that you're both miraculously a tight end and a wide receiver, but fuck off mikey. No one thinks for a second that you actually want to play.

Expand full comment

Only a sliver of the country likes football, much less amateur football. The student athletes are likely better off not playing, and colleges would be better off in so many ways if they completely gutted football from their spreadsheets... or really any other big ticket sport.

Expand full comment

Always follow the money. Always.

Those poor coaches might have to take a pay cut or something ...

Expand full comment

the people who are screaming the loudest that this season MUST START and the players MUST PLAY are the mostly white Rabid Sports Fans (incl. many podcasters, AM radio call-in show hosts, and D-list sports journos) who whip themselves into a rage any time the mostly Black athletes proclaim their humanity, whether it's suggesting that they shouldn't be murdered by the police or that the institutions who make so much money off of them owe them protection against COVID. They believe that these players were put on earth solely to entertain them, and any suggestions that they are not merely disposable Madden characters is met with gnashings of teeth and tearings of hair.

Fuck them. Keep the players safe, preserve their eligibility, and let Dave and Buster find something else to do on Saturdays to the accompaniment of a case of Natty Light.

Expand full comment

Notice the bit where he says the players will actually be in MORE danger from the virus without football because their colleges are "uniquely positioned to provide them with testing and health care". Gee, but I thought testing SUPER accessible to anyone at any time anywhere in the country according to this administration? And if Sasse is right that the school is helping these kids access health care but they have to expose themselves to more risk as a trade off, it's...it's almost like it would be good for everyone if citizens could access testing and health care regardless of their status...HMMMMMMMM.

Expand full comment

Just remember: Young Ben is a reasonable Republican and the future of the party. Just ask anyone!

Expand full comment

"Life is about tradeoffs." I hope I live to see the day when this Republican POS, along with his Republican brothers (and sister), has to make a hard tradeoff.

Expand full comment

Rep. Jim JordanAmerica needs college football.

More than college football, America needs you to stand trial and pay for enabling a serial pedophile rapist, you piece of self-aggrandizing shit.

Expand full comment

America needs a haircut also, too, in addition. #priorities.

Expand full comment

Aside ... Sorta: Can we locate the organized interests that are pushing these "open up" ploys, starting with the ones at the state houses? It seems to me that someones-es are backing conspiracies to commit ... manslaughter? Genocide?

I know. Sounds fringey. But is our weak-assed legal system actually this impotent?

Expand full comment

Two of the greatest minds in football strategy ever. (To be fair, it is not clear whether Marx or Engels invented the flea-flicker pass.)

Expand full comment

Ben Sasse can kiss my asse.

Expand full comment

Trump has a new coronavirus advisor who thinks re-opening schools and having football is hunky-dory, because of course he has. There seems to be no end of eager Trump yes-men.

Expand full comment