Beyonce And Barack Probably Le Boning, Says France

Remember back last week when we had some explosive totally fake news about how Big Bill Clinton totally did Elizabeth Hurley, but it was a lie from a completely drug-addled Tom Sizemore? Yeah, that is so over. The new hottness is that Bamz is totally getting it on with Beyonce.

Today in WHAT?????!!!!, a French photographer named Pascal Rostain claims that the President of the United States of America, Barack Obama, is embroiled in a love affair with internationally famous pop star Beyoncé. Oh, and we're going to read about it in the Washington Post tomorrow.

Now, we are not endorsing stepping out and seriously, when you've got FLOTUS at home, why would you, but damn, if you're going to cheat, Bey is the way to go. Although there is that pesky part where Beyonce is married to Jay-Z, who is probably not above cold-cocking the president or ordering a hit or whatever.

The original story is over at Gala , which Jezebel describes as the People of France. We do not speak surrender monkey, so we got the Google to translate it for us with predictably hilarious results.

This weekend, Pascal Rostain originally this information this morning on Europe 1, had already given his feelings about the rumors about the Obamas in an interview with Morning." First, there are fixed or televised images of Obamas become a bit distant, he remarked. One can legitimately ask questions. We found the same thing, always through images, between Holland and Trierweiler. Afterwards, there was the rumor. That Obama Beyonce, for example. And this is not because it is a rumor that he should not go on the field to check. It should not be forgotten or Marilyn Monica Lewinsky . You can be the president of the first world power, it is not less a man."

From this we can gather that this particular photog thought that French President Francois Hollande looked "distant" in photos with previous lady friend Valérie Trierweiler, who he was cheating on, and because POTUS and FLOTUS also look distant in their photos, voila! affair! Oh, and also too Jack Kennedy fucked Marilyn (and everyone else, let's be honest) and Clinton did Lewinsky, therefore Bamz plus Bey, gettin' it on. This thing is just like like those people obsessed with the typography on the President's birth certificate who are forever divining not-truth from rabid staring at pictures of things on the internet.

Sadly, WaPo has already dashed our hopes of seeing this story on their pages tomorrow, as they have no plans to cover this SHOCKING NEWS, probably because of how they're the lamestream media and in the pocket of the President. Let's hope that some birther truthers pick up on this and carry it far and wide. What's Orly Taitz doing right now? Surely she can think of some sort of lawsuit over this rumor. We can't wait.

[ Jezebel / Gala / Poynter ]