Biden Called Republicans Basket Full Of Fiscal Dementia, And Fox News Is MAD

Cry more.

Oh no, Fox News and Republicans are mad about a thing! Everybody sit down where you are so these white people can tell you their feelings.

On Martin Luther King Day, President Joe Biden said Republicans are "fiscally demented" — referring to their first bill, to make it easier for rich people to commit tax fraud, as well as bonkers proposals for a huge giant honking 30 percent national sales tax — and Fox News hasn't stopped performatively shitting itself ever since. If you google "fiscally demented" right now, you get three top results, and they are from Fox News, Fox News, and Fox Business, respectively.

 There's an article from two of their white male "journalists," Brandon Gillespie and Houston Keene, both of whom look like they were hired directly from Sunday school or a job fair at a Christian clown college, and like their moms write their names in their underpants. They're mad at the "fiscally demented" thing, and they are mad that Biden is saying Triple Pinocchios about the deficit.

They quoted new GOP Senator Katie Britt from Alabama, who appeared to run Biden's comments through her Republican word salad talking points generator and spit this out in random order:

"President Biden’s reckless tax-and-spend policies have fueled generationally high inflation and crushed Americans who are simply trying to make ends meet."

"He’s hired 87,000 new IRS agents, while leaving our Border Patrol agents short-handed to deal with the unprecedented national security and humanitarian crisis he caused at the border," Britt said. "And he’s turned to just about every foreign adversary possible instead of unleashing American energy independence."

Far be it from us to bother factchecking Lyin' Katie's Lie Pile, but it does always amuse us that Republicans whiiiiiine about gas prices and then whiiiiine when Brandon opens up the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to smash high gas prices. NO FAIR FIXING THE GAS PRICE SITUATION JOE BRANDON! Anyway, she kept lying more.

"Meanwhile, Republicans want to keep more money in hardworking families’ pockets, make life more affordable, not leave our children and our children’s children with a crippling national debt, secure the border, safeguard our communities from violent crime and the fentanyl epidemic, protect parental rights, and ensure our military is the best equipped, resourced, and trained in the world to keep our service members safe and our nation strong," the Alabama Republican continued.

"I’m confident that the American people know which of these agendas is radical and which is simply good common sense," she added.

That entire press release was in Brandon's and Houston's "news" article. Good job, guys.

Next up, they quoted mathlete Senator Marsha Blackburn, who said some words, and then for the real economic expertise, they went to former White House Dr. Pill-Pusher McDrinkyPants, current Texas GOP Rep. Ronny Jackson, and OH BOY! was he mad, OH BOY!

Texas Republican Rep. Ronny Jackson blasted Biden, telling Fox News Digital the president "has absolutely zero self-awareness."

"Attacking Republicans, calling us ‘fiscally demented’ while Washington Democrats spent at historic levels during the Biden administration to fund their Green New Deal and other liberal priorities is hypocritical," Jackson said. "The new Republican House majority is dedicated to improving the lives of the American people by lowering taxes, balancing the budget, and working to get our country out of debt. Meanwhile, the Biden Administration is dead set on putting America LAST!"

Wait, did Ronny Jackson copy Katie Britt's Republican word-of-the-day calendar, just in a different order? Sure looks like it. We bet Dr. Ronny didn't write that for himself. His style is more "Hollerin' about stuff in Comic Sans!" Let's look at something Dr. Ronny wrote for himself:  

“Tonight I'm PROUD to announce that I've been named to the House Committee on Agriculture. I’ll be a FIGHTER for America's patriotic farmers & ranchers against a Biden administration who wants to SHUT THEM DOWN. I'll NEVER give up! We will STOP Biden's war on American agriculture!”

— Ronny Jackson (@Ronny Jackson) 1673917061 

That's more like it. JOE BIDEN! gon' come after the FARMERS! but RONNY JACKSON ain't let 'em! RONNY JACKSON gonna dress 'em up in his best cowboy boots 'n' chaps 'n' cowboy hat! and show JOE BIDEN! why they call this thing RODEO!

Like so:

Ronny Jackson screengrab via   

The "news" article from Brandon and Houston ends with a thing about Joe Biden's classified documents next to his Corvette, because that is a good ending for a "news" article about "fiscally demented."

 Fox News also has an op-ed written by a white woman named Ashley Carnahan who used to work at the Daily Caller — only the finest hiring pool for Fox News! — and she complains that Biden is "once again violating a campaign pledge to be a uniter."

To which we reply:

 Giphy   

By which we mean fuck you.

At the top of the op-ed is a clip of Greg Gutfeld and the rest of the Boxwine Consortium on "The Five" whining that Biden is "pathetic" for saying that. The entire article is just copy/pasted quotes from "The Five."

Biden is "pathetic in the sense that he was always kind of known for being… have manners have class and congenial. But here, there's a tribute to MLK, and he uses it to demonize a party ," Gutfeld said Tuesday on "The Five."

"And so you start thinking, well, what is this? Is this the Joe Biden that everybody thought they knew? Of course not. That one is dead. I mean, this isn't even a thinking, self-aware individual at this point."

Eat shit.

Co-host Judge Jeanine Pirro agreed, arguing Biden is "one of the most divisive presidents in American history."

"He's the most financially reckless president that we've ever had. And, you know, it's like an alcoholic bragging [that] look, I went from eight drinks to six drinks. and you know, things are really good now," she explained.

Sure you betcha, tell us more about the drinks, Judge Jeanine. 

box wine GIF    Giphy   

Finally, the Fox Business article is just about Nikki Haley argle-bargling some horseshit on Twitter.

“Biden's signed off on more than $6 trillion in new spending—and pushed for trillions more—and he's calling Republicans “fiscally demented.” Try again, Mr. President. #CognitiveTest”

— Nikki Haley (@Nikki Haley) 1673983463 

This coming from a person who continually pledged her undying allegiance to a man who regularly got trapped in verbal loops bragging about how well he did on his dementia test.

So that's a thing they are mad about right now.

 TELL US AGAIN, TRUMP. TELL US ABOUT YOUR PERFECT DEMENTIA TEST. TELL US. 

We would say this is going to be the new basket of deplorables, but these days their outrage shifts so many times a day not even they can keep them all straight. For instance, if a cartoon junk food mascot goes "woke" and causes Tucker Carlson to lose his erection sometime between now and 8 p.m. Eastern, this will be entirely forgotten.

We must savor these things while they last.

[ Fox News ]

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