Biden Hosting NATO Summit, Promises Leaders They Will Par-tay
Jell-O shots with Dark Brandon must be an agenda item.
As we all know, there is nothing Donald Trump loves so much as a NATO summit. The pageantry! The attention! The ego-stroking joy of other leaders kissing his ass! The chance to shake down other countries for money like they’re a bunch of trash-hauling companies and he’s the New York City Sanitation Commissioner!
Thankfully, Donald Trump is not the president at the moment. Joe Biden is, and this week he will host the leaders of NATO countries in Washington DC at their annual summit, where they will celebrate the alliance’s 75th birthday. Fun fact: NATO is younger than both of America’s presidential candidates! True story.
What topics of discussion are on the agenda for the summit? The usual. Ukraine. Russian aggression. How terrified the rest of the alliance is that Americans in our noble wisdom will put that rotund angry carrot in charge of everything again.
Even before the debate, European governments were deep in consultations on what they could do to ensure that NATO, Western support for Ukraine and the security of individual NATO countries will endure should Trump win back the presidency in November and temper U.S. contributions.
Some Americans and Europeans call it “Trump-proofing” NATO — or “future-proofing” it when the political advances of far-right political blocs in Europe are factored in.
“Trump-proofing” is also what Melania calls installing extra locks on her bedroom door.
Among the “Trump-proofing” decisions awaiting Biden and the rest of the alliance is how to get Ukraine on an “irreversible” path to NATO membership, something the country has all but begged for since even before Russia invaded. This will be much harder to achieve if Trump is in office and Vladimir Putin is popping by the Oval Office to whisper sweet nothings in his grotesquely misshapen ear.
MORE ON THIS VERY TOPIC!
Still, even with all the craziness that has swirled around Joe Biden since That Debate, there is a long list of crap that America’s allies will not have to worry about the current president doing this week.
For example, Biden is unlikely to ramble on so incoherently at breakfast that even Mike Pompeo has the good sense to look embarrassed.
He is not likely to threaten to pull America out of NATO if the other nations don’t increase their own defense spending by the end of the year.
Biden having a long history of working in foreign diplomacy, it seems unlikely he will skip meetings with world leaders because he couldn’t be pulled away from the day’s edition of “Fox & Friends.” Nor is he likely to demand his secretary of State skip out on the summit in order to hang out at Biden’s private golf resort.
Biden is certainly not likely to tell NATO countries that they are on their own if Russia attacks because he has zero understanding of histories and treaties and why America and its allies sign them.
No, this will likely be a fairly serious summit, though the mood amongst our allies watching Biden’s campaign running neck-and-neck with Jesus Q. Cheeto is described by the AP as “gloomy.” They certainly have reason to worry. Trump has been threatening to pull the US out of NATO since his first presidential campaign in 2016, which was approximately 172 years ago. NATO would prefer he not come back like a bad flare-up of herpes and finish the job.
[AP]
Wonkette survives thanks to the protective umbrella of America’s foreign policy alignments, and also the generous support of our readers.
Again - WHY do we constantly have to PROVE anything about President Biden's cognitive abilities?
The man has surrounded himself with a competent, intelligent staff to handle things that he MAY be unable to do because of his age.
But, besides some stupid media event "debate"- there is absolutely no evidence that he is anything but highly competent and up to the task.
And he's also not a fascist piece of shit.
That's all the convincing anyone should need, IMO.
I’m okay with the most unhinged presidential candidate in history who is a convicted felon, a rapist, a fraudster, an insurrectionist, who is on the Epstein list, who wants to end democracy, wants to implement project 2025 and agenda 47, wants to use the Justice dept to go after his enemies being president.
But im not okay with the completely normal guy keeping the status quo while making completely innocuous gaffes like he’s done his whole career.
By Jon Stewart