Biden Hosting NATO Summit, Promises Leaders They Will Par-tay
Jell-O shots with Dark Brandon must be an agenda item.
As we all know, there is nothing Donald Trump loves so much as a NATO summit. The pageantry! The attention! The ego-stroking joy of other leaders kissing his ass! The chance to shake down other countries for money like they’re a bunch of trash-hauling companies and he’s the New York City Sanitation Commissioner!
Thankfully, Donald Trump is not the president at the moment. Joe Biden is, and this week he will host the leaders of NATO countries in Washington DC at their annual summit, where they will celebrate the alliance’s 75th birthday. Fun fact: NATO is younger than both of America’s presidential candidates! True story.
What topics of discussion are on the agenda for the summit? The usual. Ukraine. Russian aggression. How terrified the rest of the alliance is that Americans in our noble wisdom will put that rotund angry carrot in charge of everything again.
Even before the debate, European governments were deep in consultations on what they could do to ensure that NATO, Western support for Ukraine and the security of individual NATO countries will endure should Trump win back the presidency in November and temper U.S. contributions.
Some Americans and Europeans call it “Trump-proofing” NATO — or “future-proofing” it when the political advances of far-right political blocs in Europe are factored in.
“Trump-proofing” is also what Melania calls installing extra locks on her bedroom door.
Among the “Trump-proofing” decisions awaiting Biden and the rest of the alliance is how to get Ukraine on an “irreversible” path to NATO membership, something the country has all but begged for since even before Russia invaded. This will be much harder to achieve if Trump is in office and Vladimir Putin is popping by the Oval Office to whisper sweet nothings in his grotesquely misshapen ear.
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Still, even with all the craziness that has swirled around Joe Biden since That Debate, there is a long list of crap that America’s allies will not have to worry about the current president doing this week.
For example, Biden is unlikely to ramble on so incoherently at breakfast that even Mike Pompeo has the good sense to look embarrassed.
He is not likely to threaten to pull America out of NATO if the other nations don’t increase their own defense spending by the end of the year.
Biden having a long history of working in foreign diplomacy, it seems unlikely he will skip meetings with world leaders because he couldn’t be pulled away from the day’s edition of “Fox & Friends.” Nor is he likely to demand his secretary of State skip out on the summit in order to hang out at Biden’s private golf resort.
Biden is certainly not likely to tell NATO countries that they are on their own if Russia attacks because he has zero understanding of histories and treaties and why America and its allies sign them.
No, this will likely be a fairly serious summit, though the mood amongst our allies watching Biden’s campaign running neck-and-neck with Jesus Q. Cheeto is described by the AP as “gloomy.” They certainly have reason to worry. Trump has been threatening to pull the US out of NATO since his first presidential campaign in 2016, which was approximately 172 years ago. NATO would prefer he not come back like a bad flare-up of herpes and finish the job.
[AP]
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(Takes deep breath).
Has it occurred to anyone Joe is hurt? He's done a great job, and all these hyenas are demanding he step down. How would you feel?
Didya all see what Nancy Pelosi said yesterday? That's the way to persuade a President.
Another thing...If Joe had a white male VP, the subject of who should replace him wouldn't even come up. Pass over Kamala and lose women voters, Black voters, and Black women voters.
Come on, try and remember we're here, guys.
Jokes aside this is a real and important test. Specifically:
"For example, Biden is unlikely to ramble on so incoherently at breakfast that even Mike Pompeo has the good sense to look embarrassed."
You sure about that?
"Biden having a long history of working in foreign diplomacy, it seems unlikely he will skip meetings with world leaders because he couldn’t be pulled away from the day’s edition of “Fox & Friends.”
OK, maybe he won't be watching Fox, but you're sure that he'll go to every meeting?
This is a chance for the administration to prove he's up to the job.
I think he's up to it, but I wouldn't rule out another 'cold' either.