Uncle Duke: Champ, as Gregg and Cher Bureau Chief, I'm sending you on a top priority assignment!
Zonker: I'm ready to serve, Uncle Duke!
Uncle Duke: Tomorrow morning Gregg Allman starts work on his new album in LA! I want you to be there!
Zonker: That sounds great! – but how come I get to go instead of you?
Uncle Duke: Because, nephew, I've heard Allman's work. His little band does not produce music. Rather, it emits a field of intensely unpleasant vibrations that can sterilize frogs at 200 yards! I figured you' eat it up.
In a lawsuit clearly known to long time (think Ana Marie Cox ago) Wonkateers, a reliable source has said that the defense counsel intended to interrogate the plaintiff about allegedly false depictions of his sexy time activities by using a Barbie and Ken to act out the parties doing the nasty.
Holy effing SMURF this is some next level Smurf. I love the use of "Streisanding" as a verb! It's not just a noun any more. But anyway this guy is toast right? Maybe not because maga absolutely laps this Smurf up. Ugh. The mop in the opening of the vid is so gross. Jack Shack. Gawd. Just so gross *throws up in mouth a little at the thought*
Is it just me, or is our Crip Dyke getting better and better at this comedy thing?
Granted, Robinson is an easy target. But I could just see myself whiffing at a slow pitch like that (especially since I never really played baseball). CD knocked it out of the park. Kudos.
I felt I was pretty good at funny writing a long time ago, but I have never been a journalist, and so this year I've been focussed on how to newsify my readers. And yes, it has been difficult to both journamalismize and comedify at the same time. So you've gotten more of what I've needed to work on and less of what I already felt comfortable doing. But as my Wonkette editors Trix & Evan have shown me more of the ropes, I have, gradually, gotten hold of enough to lasso some jokes and drag them in here.
So, again, thank you for the compliment. Wonkette gave me the words, I've formed them in herds. I'm doing the best that I can. It's getting better all the time. (Hecklers/backup singers: Can't get no worse!)
Of course, it might just be getting better because I'm ripping off the work of people more talented than I. We'll see what happens when up with that they no longer put.
That...band...ROCKS!!!
Uncle Duke: Champ, as Gregg and Cher Bureau Chief, I'm sending you on a top priority assignment!
Zonker: I'm ready to serve, Uncle Duke!
Uncle Duke: Tomorrow morning Gregg Allman starts work on his new album in LA! I want you to be there!
Zonker: That sounds great! – but how come I get to go instead of you?
Uncle Duke: Because, nephew, I've heard Allman's work. His little band does not produce music. Rather, it emits a field of intensely unpleasant vibrations that can sterilize frogs at 200 yards! I figured you' eat it up.
Zonker: Indeed! I'm on my way!
Ta, CD. CNN, IMHO, leans more right than left. #BlackNazi should just own his ridiculous identity.
In a lawsuit clearly known to long time (think Ana Marie Cox ago) Wonkateers, a reliable source has said that the defense counsel intended to interrogate the plaintiff about allegedly false depictions of his sexy time activities by using a Barbie and Ken to act out the parties doing the nasty.
Who needs Netflix anymore?
Holy effing SMURF this is some next level Smurf. I love the use of "Streisanding" as a verb! It's not just a noun any more. But anyway this guy is toast right? Maybe not because maga absolutely laps this Smurf up. Ugh. The mop in the opening of the vid is so gross. Jack Shack. Gawd. Just so gross *throws up in mouth a little at the thought*
It's an adverb!(Streisandly)! It's an adjective (Streisdandish)!
Streisand is all parts of speech!
But is it a floor wax?
🤣😅🤣😂🫠
I do hope Mark's lawyers weren't silly enough to take this case on a contingency basis.
Actually, no I don't. I don't hope that at all.
I have visions of them sitting around their office in some skeevy strip mall planning how they’re going to spend 40% of $50M.
That they will collect from a former porn store retail clerk and punk rocker.
Notoriously deep pockets on those guys.
Is it just me, or is our Crip Dyke getting better and better at this comedy thing?
Granted, Robinson is an easy target. But I could just see myself whiffing at a slow pitch like that (especially since I never really played baseball). CD knocked it out of the park. Kudos.
Thank you!
I felt I was pretty good at funny writing a long time ago, but I have never been a journalist, and so this year I've been focussed on how to newsify my readers. And yes, it has been difficult to both journamalismize and comedify at the same time. So you've gotten more of what I've needed to work on and less of what I already felt comfortable doing. But as my Wonkette editors Trix & Evan have shown me more of the ropes, I have, gradually, gotten hold of enough to lasso some jokes and drag them in here.
So, again, thank you for the compliment. Wonkette gave me the words, I've formed them in herds. I'm doing the best that I can. It's getting better all the time. (Hecklers/backup singers: Can't get no worse!)
Of course, it might just be getting better because I'm ripping off the work of people more talented than I. We'll see what happens when up with that they no longer put.
I've dabbled in comic writing myself, to at least mildly positive results.
To give you some unsolicited advice: You have a sense of humor. Trust it. If you really think a line is funny, it probably is.
Well! Smurf me in the smurf hole and call me a smurfing little smurf!
Imma slap your Smurf into next week 🤣😂🤣😂
Ben Dover.
And his wife, Ileane.
We appreciate your reading the source material so we don't have to.
The fraction of votes this guy gets will be a great indicator of the level of idiocracy we are dealing with, IMO.
Absolutely.
“Baller and Binner” seems like it would be the most logical name for a Republican law firm.
A Seedy article by the servicey CD. Funny in so many ways.
Wait, this lunatic has children? Ewww. Those poor kids.
Anthony Biller is with "Envisage Law", which is not a name that inspires confidence in their lawyering abilities.
Imagine Law was already taken?
So was Concept of Law.
Imagine that!
Robinson should be indicted for the unoriginality in claiming this is all a conspiracy against him.
for some reason I think Robinson would have been fine with all this coming out after the election if he won
sure it's not great everybody knows he's a sick pervert, but he wouldn't have cared if he won
Related: What is blue and drips off a tree?
According to Desi Lydic, the answer is "Smurf Juice"
Coincidentally, "Smurf Smurf" would also be a valid answer.
Umm... Hitler?
Hitler was blue?
Perhaps his ball was.
One could argue that he could have been blue if he had gone the cyanide route like the Goebbelses.
Well, he never really seemed to be very happy.
Good recovery!
As long as I stuck the landing.