The stock market withered and died today after news of Dick Cheney's survival at the hands of a suicide bomber. This prompts Hotline to ask: What happens to the presidential race if there's a recession? The answer is complicated. As the country enters what is sure to be its second (or third, or fourth) depression, the poor schmucks who don't decide to end it all will have entirely new criteria for selecting from the literally thousands of people running for President. While the fiscal restraint of Republicans was once admired, now they're all refusing to leave children behind and trying to give our old people drugs. And while the Democrats were once popular for their "giving free shit to unemployed people" policies, now they mostly just promise to lose wars and not fuck teenage boys.
Black Tuesday to Ensure Third Bush Term
Black Tuesday to Ensure Third Bush Term
Black Tuesday to Ensure Third Bush Term
The stock market withered and died today after news of Dick Cheney's survival at the hands of a suicide bomber. This prompts Hotline to ask: What happens to the presidential race if there's a recession? The answer is complicated. As the country enters what is sure to be its second (or third, or fourth) depression, the poor schmucks who don't decide to end it all will have entirely new criteria for selecting from the literally thousands of people running for President. While the fiscal restraint of Republicans was once admired, now they're all refusing to leave children behind and trying to give our old people drugs. And while the Democrats were once popular for their "giving free shit to unemployed people" policies, now they mostly just promise to lose wars and not fuck teenage boys.