143 Comments

A reworked quote by Chief Wiggum would make the perfect motto for the modern Republican party: "Government should be powerless to help you, not hurt you."

Expand full comment

The stock market always disagrees with them.

Expand full comment

My first thought too. I kind of think the moderate Republicans are just trying to blow the party up now, so they can start rebuilding it into something sane within the next few years. It will be interesting to see how they're going to do that, with Rush Dumbo and Fox News still in the picture. The other option is that the GOP splits into two parties - the crazy half, and the REALLY crazy half.

Expand full comment

Just watching the esteemed Ms. Blackburn do her best Caribou Barbie should be good enough to keep this place going for months.

Expand full comment

That's one of my pet peeves about Republicans. They don't have the ability to say "gee, maybe we created regulations over decades, because there was a need for them." Instead they convince the rubes that all these benevolent banks and corporations just want to do right by America, and if we'd just let them all run tax free and unfettered, things would work out just fine.

Expand full comment

It's true. We can't even imagine what could go wrong. But it will be epic watching it happen.

Expand full comment

Well, things DO work out "just fine", for banks and corporations. For your average teabagger? Not so much, but there's always some near sherirff you can blame for what goes wrong.

Expand full comment

I remember there was one guy in 2012- Jon Huntsman Jr., I think? He said he'd actually want to work with Obama substantively and didn't want to burn the place down. He never stood a chance, of course.

Expand full comment

So Republicans are against the abortion "business?" That must be the first business they've ever met that they didn't like. I can't WAIT to see how the 'pro-life' group embraces a million (800,000 will be brown or black) unwanted babies per year. If there's one thing I know about Republicans, it's that they just LOVE little helpless black and brown children who will need to be fed, housed, and clothed. Oh, I can't wait for that outpouring of love. I'm sure they'll all start tithing 10% of their income to support all that glorious life. Reality Check: all the rubes will flip over their "pro-life" placards and paint them over with sayings about how we need to "Throw these lazy welfare queens and their spawn off the dole!!!!"

Expand full comment

I miss those two on a regular basis.

Expand full comment

"Sidney Blumenthal gave the stand-down order, on YouTube, and then partied all night with Hillary "

Midway through the party, Sid looked at Hill and said "You know what would be a great money maker? Baby parts!" And finally the truth comes out about Hillary

Expand full comment

I'm hoping (fruitlessly) for Elizabeth. Cecile can be in charge of Health and Human Services. Or, fuck it, the Department of Wimmenz/Ladies/Menz Health What Effects Their Sexy Parts.

Expand full comment

Actually fits into their business model. More inmates for for profit prison, more low income earners. All to plan,

Expand full comment

A lot of them (or at least, a lot of the ones I've interacted with) seem to think that somehow growing up with TEH INTERWEBZ1!1 had made them smarter & more knowledgeable than other generations, leading them to start arguments with me about how polio was totally eliminated from the face of the Earth through "healthy eating" and "clean drinking water" and vaccinations really didn't have anything to do with it and probably caused the polio in the first place with the MERCURIEZ!!!1 and DEAD MOUSE BRAINZ!!!!1!11 causing me to lose my shit and call them morons and throw angry cat memes at them and then slink away in frustration when they tell me to WAKE UP, SHEEPLE and DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING THE MEDIA TELLS YOU and blech.

Expand full comment

This will give a big boost to Cecile Richards' presidential campaign.

Expand full comment

If we can be serious about this for a moment, hahahaha they're letting Marsha Blackburn chair the committee and she's a 'tarded moranic Southern-fried a idiot! This is going to be even funnier than when wingnuts were trying to sound all ominous about Hillary Clinton going before the 'great' Trey Gowdy dowdy, he smells fowdy and hilarity ensued.

Expand full comment