Fury, Epic.: Tabs, Mon., March 2, 2026

News and things to read, watch and listen to

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What a weekend!

Trump’s Swiss cheese brain got bored of peace, so he and his Secretary of WAR and Israel are doing unprovoked WAR WAR WAR on Iran together, until Iran thanks the US for bombing it with tears in its eyes, regime changes and agrees Israel can be boss of the whole Middle East forever, Jesus comes back or Trump gets bored and Iran descends into civil war, whichever happens first. Now chaos is spreading throughout the region, and three US jetfighters were mistakenly shot down over Kuwait. (WSJ)

It’s all happened fast. On Saturday, between the Commander In Chief’s golf rounds, peekaboo curtains were hung at Mar-a-Lago, very OpSec, so Trump and his brain trust of Sec. of State Marco Rubio, Den Mom Susie Wiles, DNI Tulsi Gabbard, Gen. Dean “Razin’” Caine, Energy Sec. Chris Wright, VP JD Vance, Treasury Sec. Scott Bessent (for some reason), etc., could huddle and follow along with OPERATION EPIC FURY.

Strikes killed Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and at least 201 others (and climbing) in Iran, including 150 schoolchildren. Iran struck back at US military and civilian targets across Bahrain, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Oman, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, killing hundreds of people, including three US service members and five injured (at least, reported so far). Trump says to expect more US casualties too.

The UK has gotten involved now as well, because they have a defense agreement with Qatar. Also the strait of Hormuz, through which 20 percent of the world’s oil and much cargo passes, was effectively closed after three ships were attacked and insurance companies won’t let their ships go through it. Congress is expected to vote this week on resolutions to require President Trump to seek Congressional approval to use military force, day late and dollar short-ly. (Al Jazeera / CBS / BBC archive link)

And here comes the Islamophobia train, right on time.

Perhaps Trump’s plan is seizing voting machines in the US with claims of evidence from Fulton County that Iran hacked the 2020 election? Just spitballin’, but that would line up with the batshit 17-page draft Executive Order that leaked last week involving Trump declaring a NATIONAL EMERGENCY to seize and federalize all state-run elections. But Trump says he is not thinking about that, though, so there, nothing to see here! Well, that’s a relief. (PBS)

Larry Ellison’s Oracle AI shall now be providing generative AI services to the Defense WAR department, so better watch what you say about the Paramount takeover of CNN on TikTok or someday his data might send murder drones to get you! Or the mailman, a dog that looks like you, or a shrub that has your body shape. (Oracle Cloud Infrastructure Blog)

Better-ish news:

And of course there’s Epstein files news too.

Remember from last week that FBI report from a victim who claims she was violently raped as a minor by Trump in South Carolina after Epstein gave her drugs and alcohol? Turns out it was just the Trump part of the interview and notes pages that went missing, but derp, the FBI neglected to delete the mention of those pages in a slideshow. Stupidest. Coverup. Ever. (ABC)

And HM, the FBI probed how someone posted “don’t ask me how I know, but Epstein died an hour ago from hanging, cardiac arrest. Screencap this” on 4Chan 38 minutes before his death was publicly announced. (Business Insider)

“Newspapers Did Not Kill Themselves: New docs say Jeffrey Epstein collaborated with the Russian mob to loot the New York Daily News, then tried to help Mort Zuckerman discard it when reporting became inconvenient.” (Prospect)

Union members of the Baltimore Sun Newspaper Guild say the paper’s new owner, Sinclair media / Fox affiliate-station owner / MAGA Trump-humper David Smith turned to using AI to write stories after management couldn’t convince reporters to lower their standards down enough. Meanwhile, local rival the Baltimore Banner is investing in hiring more human reporters, expanding and doing better than ever, because nobody wants to pay to read AI slop. Congrats, you played yourself dot gif! (Baltimore Brew / The Objective / Local News Initiative)

Macabre online chatter dept.: the “Alpine Divorce.” (Daily Dot)

SNL open: Happy World War III to all who celebrate!

Saint Dolly, pray for us!

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