In a very limited way, we feel a little sympathy for the Transportation Security Agency workers at Boston's Logan International Airport: just like any employees in an organization that's had the latest managerial fad foisted on them, they had to take a ridiculous system's unrealistic assumptions about the world and apply them in a real-world workplace. So, like plenty of office workers who just smile and say they're "implementing Six Sigma," a bunch of Boston TSA agents basically made things up and said, sure, we're following the program. Unfortunately, in this case, the innovation was a TSA program to identify high-risk passengers, and the improvisation
My father worked for Northern Electric (Northern Telecom, Nortel) starting in 1950, his entire career. He was lucky, retiring before it went tits up. However, my mother's survivor's pension is reduced because of what those assholes did to the company. Even worse, my cousin worked there for 20+ years, and when the bankruptcy hit, he lost his job, obviously, and got no severance, and no pension. After more than 20 years. Fuckers.
I threw my contact lens cleaner into a bag at the last minute, forgetting that it was my carry-on. Of course TSA pounced on 16 ounces of mysterious deadly liquid, and as they were studying it, I realized, "Oh shit ... it's hydrogen peroxide." Sure enough, out came the testing kit, which "detected" that highly alarming fact.
The label <i>says</i> it&#039;s peroxide, of course, but that just makes it a candidate for <i>The Purloined Letter</i> trick, so it was off to the races, as they ran though their whole &quot;we found bomb materials&quot; script. (Call in more people,who do more tests, which cause them to call in more people with more tests, until eventually they drag out somebody with sufficient brains and authority (if TSA has colonels, it would have been at least a colonel) to say, &quot;Meh, it&#039;s contact lens solution&#039; and throw away $12 worth of the stuff.
I realize that these folks are bored to death with a sucky job, so I took the attitude of &quot;hey, I&#039;m making their day.&quot; That, plus the fact that I had an hour to kill, made the whole security theatre presentation tolerably entertaining. Not having &quot;cavity search candidate&quot; brown skin probably helped in the tolerability department.
&quot;Like <strike>a weapons system that doesn&rsquo;t really shoot down enemy planes</strike> the War on Drugs, the program becomes a self-justifying expense, because it might work, and there&rsquo;s a lot of people whose living depends on it continuing.&quot;
&quot;Like a weapons system that doesn&rsquo;t really shoot down enemy planes, the program becomes a self-justifying expense, because it might work, and there&rsquo;s a lot of people whose living depends on it continuing.&quot;
I seem to remember a similar argument to justify waterboarding.
T. F. Green is a pleasure to pass through. And I bought a Dell&#039;s Frozen Lemonade dry mix package my last time there, which wasn&#039;t bad.
Whenever I fly, I tape an aluminum foil cut-out of a grenade to my chest, insert a Mounds Bar in my rectum, and make intense eye contact with TSA employees. That&#039;s just the way I roll.
I&#039;m with you on Sux Sigma. Seems to me it&rsquo;s just a crutch for those who are easily overwhelmed by the development and manufacturing process.
My father worked for Northern Electric (Northern Telecom, Nortel) starting in 1950, his entire career. He was lucky, retiring before it went tits up. However, my mother&#039;s survivor&#039;s pension is reduced because of what those assholes did to the company. Even worse, my cousin worked there for 20+ years, and when the bankruptcy hit, he lost his job, obviously, and got no severance, and no pension. After more than 20 years. Fuckers.
The KKK. (I read it somewhere.)
Have you tried boric acid?
I know teachers like that.
I threw my contact lens cleaner into a bag at the last minute, forgetting that it was my carry-on. Of course TSA pounced on 16 ounces of mysterious deadly liquid, and as they were studying it, I realized, &quot;Oh shit ... it&#039;s hydrogen peroxide.&quot; Sure enough, out came the testing kit, which &quot;detected&quot; that highly alarming fact.
The label <i>says</i> it&#039;s peroxide, of course, but that just makes it a candidate for <i>The Purloined Letter</i> trick, so it was off to the races, as they ran though their whole &quot;we found bomb materials&quot; script. (Call in more people,who do more tests, which cause them to call in more people with more tests, until eventually they drag out somebody with sufficient brains and authority (if TSA has colonels, it would have been at least a colonel) to say, &quot;Meh, it&#039;s contact lens solution&#039; and throw away $12 worth of the stuff.
I realize that these folks are bored to death with a sucky job, so I took the attitude of &quot;hey, I&#039;m making their day.&quot; That, plus the fact that I had an hour to kill, made the whole security theatre presentation tolerably entertaining. Not having &quot;cavity search candidate&quot; brown skin probably helped in the tolerability department.
So, which cap would a muslin terrist choose? Surely the TSA has a profile...
&quot;Like <strike>a weapons system that doesn&rsquo;t really shoot down enemy planes</strike> the War on Drugs, the program becomes a self-justifying expense, because it might work, and there&rsquo;s a lot of people whose living depends on it continuing.&quot;
Is it the &quot;If I wanted the government in my vagina...&quot; T-shirt, do you think?
Remember the old guy they detained because they couldn&#039;t figure out what to do with his Medal of Honor?
&quot;Like a weapons system that doesn&rsquo;t really shoot down enemy planes, the program becomes a self-justifying expense, because it might work, and there&rsquo;s a lot of people whose living depends on it continuing.&quot;
I seem to remember a similar argument to justify waterboarding.
T. F. Green is a pleasure to pass through. And I bought a Dell&#039;s Frozen Lemonade dry mix package my last time there, which wasn&#039;t bad.
Whenever I fly, I tape an aluminum foil cut-out of a grenade to my chest, insert a Mounds Bar in my rectum, and make intense eye contact with TSA employees. That&#039;s just the way I roll.
Yup, that&#039;s something I look for in an airport.
dr zoom i am very fond of your columns and writing but today i do not think i can read six paragraphs about the tsa.
it&#039;s almost like you think we have active brain cells or something.
The obvious solution is to privatize anal cavity probing or as the Romney/Ryan ticket calls it Fiscal Reform.
I&#039;m with you on Sux Sigma. Seems to me it&rsquo;s just a crutch for those who are easily overwhelmed by the development and manufacturing process.