Brave Wingnut Crusades Against Creeping Sharia In Alaska

• Sarah Palin's "Alaska" is already gearing up to dismantle all the unions, forever. But what could make this embarrassing ice colony even more American? Probably a law that would prevent Muslims from honor-killing all the delicate white women, legally, in Alaska court! And hooray, this is exactly what some wingnut state representative wants, and he's even introduced a bill that would stop "the potential of Islamic religious law -- Sharia -- from trumping the U.S. Constitution in Alaska courts." The bill's author, State Rep. Carl Gatto (R-Obviously), has received hundreds of supportive emails, as well as "phone calls from places like New Zealand, Poland and Israel in support of his bill." Yes, the Alaska House of Representatives has a mandate from Poland to stop Islamic religious law in Juneau. (What is happening? ) In retaliation, a member of the Islamic Community Center of Alaska sent Gatto an email politely asking him to stop being such a dumb asshole ... Don't Tread on Him! [ ADN ]

• This is the obligatory link confirming that everything in Japan is still awful. [ CNN ]

• A morbidly obese Ohio man was found "fused" to his favorite chair, which he hadn't moved from in two years. The police say that the man's body was covered in poop and maggots. Good morning! [ NewsCore ]