BREAKING: Majority Of Americans Like Taking Gay Obamacare Up The Butt

In case you missed it because you were trapped under something heavy, the Supreme Court crammed healthcare AND marriage equality up and down all of our orifices last week. While you might be 69 kinds of butthurt about the uber-liberal judicial tyranny of some dumb lawyers in robes, your friends and neighbors and your mom and her friends and neighbors and their moms are quite thrilled:  

Most Americans say they support each of the two major Supreme Court rulings issued late last week, and nearly four in 10 now say they view the Court as too liberal.

According to a new CNN/ORC poll, 63% support the Court's ruling upholding government assistance for lower-income Americans buying health insurance through both state-operated and federally-run health insurance exchanges. Slightly fewer, 59%, say they back the ruling which made same-sex marriages legal in all 50 states.

Big surprise, respondents are sharply divided along party lines: Almost all Democrats think access to affordable healthcare is a nifty idea and they're glad we get to keep doing that, while just over half of Republicans would rather people die, because liberty. Pretty much the same when it comes to whether our homosexbian brothers and sisters should be allowed to do marriage to each other. (They should, plus it's the law now, so SUCK IT.)

About half of Democrats think the Court is neither too liberal nor too conservative but juuuuuuuust right and mmmm this porridge is delicious, but 69 percent of Republicans are quite sure the Court is WAY too liberal, what with unelected judges making up laws and stuff, when the Bible expressly states that the sole purpose of the Court is to protect Jesus from birth control and abortion and appoint George Dubya Bush president, AND THAT'S IT.

[contextly_sidebar id="kfVnadKhlEChR9D5m482ZMZiytNUgpYC"]

This latest poll was conducted before the Supreme Court declared Monday that it's constitutional for states to execute inmates by a lethal injection cocktail that just might cause inmates to writhe in agony for 40 minutes before dying from a massive heart attack, oops, because hey, it's not as bad as being drawn and quartered. That might offer some comfort to those worrywarts who fear the ghost of Karl Marx has hijacked the judicial branch entirely.

[ CNN ]