Minnesota Gubernatorial Candidate/Vampire Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey has been arrested on outstanding warrants for stalking and escape (honestly, what else could his outstanding warrants have been for?). Which gives the AP the chance to write this nearly-perfect graf:
BREAKING: SHARKEY ARRESTED
BREAKING: SHARKEY ARRESTED
BREAKING: SHARKEY ARRESTED
Minnesota Gubernatorial Candidate/Vampire Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey has been arrested on outstanding warrants for stalking and escape (honestly, what else could his outstanding warrants have been for?). Which gives the AP the chance to write this nearly-perfect graf: