Bristol Palin's Music Video Even Worse Than Levi's Somehow

It is ABSOLUTELY IMMORAL that Levi Johnston would trade on his Palin fame by appearing in a music video. That family's life is private and should not be exploited for money. What's that? Teenage girls' anti-abortion hero and Dancing with the Stars personality Bristol Palin is appearing in a music video also? Well good for her! Except that this is the most dreadful thing we've ever seen. For some reason it's filmed in an Alaska "ice hotel" and Bristol is wearing some sort of Stevie Nicks witch costume. And also she is groping a giant ice dildo with a rose encased in it, because that is how you win an MTV video trophy for "Best Original Ice Dildo." You can watch Bristol cast a spell on you with more of her amazing acting skillz after the jump!

"A mother nature role." Yes, certainly. This video is just so full of symbolism , unlike Levi's video, which was crass and didn't include any subliminal ice dildos. This is officially Dildoctober, we guess. Three things make a trend, etc.

The band is from Alaska and is EXCELLENT. Just look at the bio on their website:

Lead singer Jared Navarre met lead guitarist Josh Witham in the fall of 2005 and it wasn’t long before they discovered the creative synergy between their dynamic musical backgrounds. Jared’s voice was formed by the diverse sounds of Incubus, Foo Fighters, and Boys2Men, while Josh’s favorite acts included Metallica & Rage Against the Machine. After finding drummer Dennis Smith in 2007, Static Cycle was finally complete.

Wow, what a voice! Those are all the best bands!

They even have Alaska's Black Guy! This was a very good business decision by this public-speaking teenage mother. Making Mom proud. [ Entertainment Tonight ]