A fantastic thing about any kind of gay-related legislation is it gives Republicans a chance to talk about the many homos they've known and loved throughout their lives. For example, a near-tearful Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Texas, obviously) just gave a very moving speech on the House floor about his carefree days as a soldier in the Army barracks. Seems there was an "overt homosexual" or two in the barracks, and then came the very sad moment when the most overtly gay soldier of all missed a signal, apparently, in the dark, and went to the wrong "straight" soldier's bunk, for anal sex. Louie Gohmert still hasn't forgotten the way it felt when that beautiful hunk of young man just strutted right past Louie Gohmert's bunk, as he explains in this heartfelt "It Gets Better" video.
The video is blocked but I’m guessing that some closeted douche nozzle is complaining that gays are going to ruin our mighty military manliness while he’s making it perfectly clear that he’s not gay. How close did I get?
And that distraction is why we lost the Spanish-American War. (I extrapolated Gohmert's military service based on his apparent age.)
Also, my hormones are under control -- just not under <i>my</i> control. There&#039;s a hottie in my office who affects my down-there at will.
According to Wikipedia, Gohmert served in the United States Army Judge Advocate General&#039;s Corps, at Fort Benning, Georgia, from 1978 to 1982. Lindsey Graham was also a JAG. Coincidence?
Exactly! The Repubicans should come out ... in support of an all non-heterosexual military. With the endless wars we&#039;re fighting, that will send those sinners to meet Jesus ahead of schedule. (Just kiddin, Gomert-sexuals don&#039;t get to meet Jesus -- it&#039;s bad for order and discipline in heaven.)
The video is blocked but I&rsquo;m guessing that some closeted douche nozzle is complaining that gays are going to ruin our mighty military manliness while he&rsquo;s making it perfectly clear that he&rsquo;s not gay. How close did I get?
He&#039;s from Tyler Texas, which invented butt sex and perfected it using fainting goats. Nuff said Louie.
Brilliant!
And that distraction is why we lost the Spanish-American War. (I extrapolated Gohmert&#039;s military service based on his apparent age.)
Also, my hormones are under control -- just not under <i>my</i> control. There&#039;s a hottie in my office who affects my down-there at will.
According to Wikipedia, Gohmert served in the United States Army Judge Advocate General&#039;s Corps, at Fort Benning, Georgia, from 1978 to 1982. Lindsey Graham was also a JAG. Coincidence?
Exactly! The Repubicans should come out ... in support of an all non-heterosexual military. With the endless wars we&#039;re fighting, that will send those sinners to meet Jesus ahead of schedule. (Just kiddin, Gomert-sexuals don&#039;t get to meet Jesus -- it&#039;s bad for order and discipline in heaven.)
Yes, they anticipated that and are one step ahead of a Bobbet-ectomy.
Those homosexual hormones were especially out-of-control during the Vietnam draft.