Every word of this is a word. The Dumbest Trial of the Year is set to get underway in Portland, Oregon, this week, as Ammon Bundy, Ryan Bundy, and five other defendants face federal charges resulting from their 41-day occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in eastern Oregon. The first few days will be taken up with jury selection, with the actual trial likely to begin next Tuesday. Let's take a look at what kind of weapons-grade Stupid the defendants are bringing, using the always popular "Q & A" format Yr Wonkette trots out when there's no logical way to bring order to a big mess of a story.
I live in proximity to the distasteful individuals. They exploit the land, they exploit undocumented workers and whine when they can't stuff for free. I know a lot about this and you, sassarooch are full of shit. People like you are the reason the world laughs at the US.
My newest fave is John Oliver's contribution: Racist Voodoo Doll Made of Discarded Cat Hair. Unwieldy, but funny. I also liked Bill Maher's The White Kanye. Two birds.
We would urge Judge Brown to not allow the cowboy boots, as they could be part of an elaborate escape attempt — not with tied-together bedsheets this time — culminating in the Ranch Stupidians’ confederates on the outside tying horses to the bars of the jail, pulling out the window, and then escaping with them into the sunset.
I couldn't find it on YouTube, but all I can think of is the scene in Support Your Local Sheriff where the Danbys come to break Joe out of jail -- they tie ropes to the window bars from their saddlehorns, put spurs to the horses sides -- and end up sitting on the ground, the saddles yanked off the horses' backs.
Trigger was the fastest dog in the west.
Yeah that was awesome to say the least. Ranch Stupidians. Doc wins the Intertubes with that one.
I live in proximity to the distasteful individuals. They exploit the land, they exploit undocumented workers and whine when they can't stuff for free. I know a lot about this and you, sassarooch are full of shit. People like you are the reason the world laughs at the US.
Little, of course. To go with the size of their, er, fingers.
Oh, a GREAT idea for a reality show! "Sovereign, naked, and tooless." I'll have to pitch it!
I go where the in crowd goes.
And the shackles you're wearing are made for hobblin'. So hobble asshole.....
[rimshot]
My newest fave is John Oliver's contribution: Racist Voodoo Doll Made of Discarded Cat Hair. Unwieldy, but funny. I also liked Bill Maher's The White Kanye. Two birds.
[whispers] I like muktuk....
We would urge Judge Brown to not allow the cowboy boots, as they could be part of an elaborate escape attempt — not with tied-together bedsheets this time — culminating in the Ranch Stupidians’ confederates on the outside tying horses to the bars of the jail, pulling out the window, and then escaping with them into the sunset.
I couldn't find it on YouTube, but all I can think of is the scene in Support Your Local Sheriff where the Danbys come to break Joe out of jail -- they tie ropes to the window bars from their saddlehorns, put spurs to the horses sides -- and end up sitting on the ground, the saddles yanked off the horses' backs.
I'm starting a GoFundMe to get them all Nudie suits.
But alas, not original.
"He's never even worn slip-on shoes or loafers before"
How about pumps?
Bon Jovi comparing being a famous singer to being a cowboy is still more cowboy than the Bundy brothers ever were.
Coan to judge, pointing at his client - "what is the sound of one hand fapping?" Judge: OK just get the fuck out of here and take him with you.