Burning Man Mud Situation God’s Punishment For All The F*cking, According To Lunatics
God definitely cares about this.
This Labor Day weekend, like every Labor Day weekend, was the humongous Southern Decadence festival of down home southern gay debauchery in New Orleans. All the pictures we’ve seen look like folks had them a gay old time. (Fucking. Lots of fucking.)
Meanwhile Burning Man was happening out there in Nevada, and it rained way too much, and it was a whole situation. You know how God is with water. Means He’s just simply fit to be tied about somethin’.
Oh hello, Utah Republican Mormon Senator Mike Lee, what’s God got His holy panties in a wad about?
Uh oh, God’s judgment!
In the article Lee links to, which is from a UK tabloid, it says there were morning circle jerk sessions (not a libertarian euphemism) and an Orgy Dome and group orgasm hypnosis. Double-sided dildo fencing. Whole lotta naked. If that’s your scene, who gives a fuck?
MIKE LEE DOES. Also other weird conservatives, the types you can just imagine raging themselves into shameful rage-gasms about all the rage they’re feeling about all the sex.
“I wonder how many people have had a ‘road to Damascus’ moment at the conclusion of Burning Man,” Lee mused, for some reason finding himself having fantasies of people leaving Burning Man and becoming Christians on the side of the road.
He was retweeting Michael Knowles, the one from the Daily Wire who achieves the remarkable feat of coming off as more repressed than Matt Walsh or Ben Shapiro.
“As a general rule, one should endeavor to avoid traveling to the desert for week-long bacchanalian orgies that culminate in the worship of giant burning idols.” Or what? Or else white conservative men will sit on Twitter and blame weather-related events on the tiny little god they worship, the one who spends all his God Time obsessed with what people do with their genitals, and apparently little else?
Fuckin’ weirdos.
This was alluded to in Wonkette’s earlier post, but we must also show you Jeffrey Clark, the indicted bonkers Captain Underpants who tried to overthrow the Republic for Donald Trump, being very judgy toward Neal Katyal for going to the festival and then escaping:
He said:
“Why am I not surprised that Neal Katyal made it a priority to get to a neopagan ritual? […] Pray that these folks come to the light & realize that the only path is through and to our Lord. We are all fallen and need God, and to repent as a Nation.”
Oh get a grip, you fucking freak.
We’d have thought Jeff Clark would be more into Burning Man, what with his whole wearing-underpants-in-the-driveway thing.
Oh well, whatever.
OPEN THREAD.
[h/t JoeMyGod]
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
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I have finally made it back to NYC. Had a wonderful time at Holly and Paul's, stayed an extra day to help clean up. I had a great time with some really cool people. Now a shower and kitty cuddles.
Now but what if you engage in travels to the desert for life-long bacchanalian orgies in which a man fucks 13 different women at least once a week (except when they're in the middle of giving birth) that culminate in the worship of giant golden idols next to a huge salt-water lake?
I thought they called you "patriarch" and a "righteous dude" for that? Did something change in the last 150 years about treks to the desert in order to get away from the fuckfaces who think you're not Christian and who hate your multi-women fucking ways?
Well, Mike Lee? Well?