Bye Bye Miss American Pie. Tabs, Thurs., March 20, 2025

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

The girl from American Pie went to the wrong building to renew her valid work visa, and was disappeared into our immigration prison system for two weeks. This is unfuckingbelievable, and this is her story. (Guardian)

ICE or CBP or whoever knows what is terrorism, and it is this French researcher’s phone and computer that had content on it about disliking President Trump. (Le Monde)

Our Liz explains the Russian nesting doll of lies in Trump’s order to throw all the Venezuelan men in Salvadorean prison, but says if Trump could stop disobeying court orders, he’d actually be on reasonably strong legal ground due to this one old ex-Nazi from the ‘40s. Learn some stuff. (Public Notice)

Well reasonably strong legal ground except that we are not at war with Venezuela, and these men almost certainly aren’t even gang members, and Trump just wanted his numbers up. (Popular Info)

What kind of MAGA asshole stands there holding his hat up for the whole fucking show? Somebody the Dropkick Murphys would like to get the fuck out please!

dropkickmurphys

A post shared by @dropkickmurphys

Gross White House spokeswoman and her old husband, gross. (Slate)

Texas charter school superintendent makes $870,000 to oversee three schools with a total of 1000 students. I’m sure they’ll get right on the waste, fraud, and abuse. (Texas Tribune)

Even more money than that is the $660 million a jury has ordered Greenpeace to pay for “defamation” that “incited” the Dakota pipeline protests. I … (Guardian)

You can’t save the passengers burning alive if Musk built his stupid shittruck to repel invaders :/ (Oaklandside)

I have read and watched literally nothing about the Menendez brothers until this moment, so here’s Qasim Rashid persuading you why both men should get new trials (it’s sexual abuse, which we certainly didn’t hear about back in the day). (Rashid)

I just … I just have no idea how you could spend 42 percent of your alive-hours streaming yourself talking on Twitch. It’s nice that we’ve apparently got one lefty guy on there though to counter literally all the rest of them. And yes this story is mostly about we need to be nicer to young white men. It’s probably true. (New Yorker)

Carole King and Gerry Goffin wrote this song. You old people probably thought you were in the most upheaval society would ever see. Isn’t that fun!

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Detroit Public Schools is working on the assumption we’ll have budget cuts next year of between $30 and $80 million for just our district. You help me fund the girls’ Detroit public elementary school, and I help you eat delicious fucking pizza, mailed right to your door. Buy the fucking pizzas everybody. They’ll FedEx em right to your door. Pizzas. (Pizzas.) This motherfucking pizza ad will be up all month.

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