18 Comments

Isn't the current fashion term "wife-beater"? Probably apropos in this case, you'd think.

Expand full comment

Typical gubmint inefficiency - poor targeting that caused so much collateral damage just to harass this guy...

Expand full comment

Thanks, Dok!

Expand full comment

<i>"he saved his garage with a free market garden hose"</i>

Which was connected to that damn socialist public water system.

Expand full comment

So we targeted <em>him</em>, but only got his <em>house</em>? C'mon, Team, this is sloppy execution!

Expand full comment

Skimmer Street Really!!! Now this fine upstanding patriot will do a little socialist thing called collecting Insurance. sort of like a skimmer from Obamanation

Expand full comment

And how often has he voted to cut property taxes that pay for the fire department?

Expand full comment

To be fair, the crumbs are for the birds, which keep the chiggers in there under control.

Expand full comment

Then after a second, the reporter turned to the garage, and asked "Mister Garage, how do you feel about all of this?" and stuck the mike out at it.

In his best high voiced amateur ventriloquist technique, "Oh boy, I sure am glad my owner saved me, he is such a hero. You know what would really make me happy though? If my owner checked himself into one of those, you know, institutions, where he can relax after all of his heroic work. That would make him an even bigger super-patriot-hero than he already is!"

Turning back to the camera, "Well, there you have it. Words of appreciation and sensibility from The Saved Garage, here in Carlsbad, who is very thankful to its owner during these tough times. Back to you in the studio!"

Expand full comment

mmmmmmm. junior mints....

Expand full comment

Probably shouldn't admit this, but I once knew a guy who had a beard like that, and he let his pet birds creep around in it. You'd be talking to him and all of a sudden a bird's head would pop out of the middle of his chest from amid all the beard hair. It was like a bad acid trip. I hear.

Expand full comment

Meh. Call me when you get it stuck in your pop-up iPhone keyboard.

Expand full comment

My country 'tis of thee, Land of imbecility.

Expand full comment

So, if he's such a fan of the free market, what's he doing relying on the socialist gummint fire department anyway?

Expand full comment

“You think it was arson?” “Yes.”

Someone ask Congressman Issa where he was on the day in question.

Expand full comment