Canada Tells Missionary MAGA Minstrel To Get Feucht
Have you heard the good news?
An 18th century Canadian military base was successfully defended from being overtaken by Christian nationalists last Wednesday without a single shot being fired.
York Redoubt, a national historic site that overlooks the entrance to Halifax Harbour, was built to deal with uninvited warships, not worshippers, but it somehow found itself booked as the first stop for musical MAGA guru Sean Fuecht’s “Revive in 25” cross-country mission to save our cold northern souls through the power of song and weak sauce.
But the holy rollers hit an early bump in the road after their permit was revoked by Parks Canada “due to heightened public safety concerns” after locals got wind of the planned sermon on the bluff by the poodle-haired hatemonger last seen in Wonkette for giving an oopsie career boost to drag queen Flamy Grant.
LIKE SO!
They say the Lord works in mysterious ways, hence perhaps the short notice for the cancellation, but Fuecht — sadly pronounced foyt instead of the funnier way — didn’t take it as a sign from above and managed to find a last-minute spot on a farmer’s field an hour’s drive away. Sean Fuecht does at least rhyme with Jon Voight, although nobody seems to want to go for a ride in his old car. Not even the car Hank Hymnler used to live out of on the road before making a name for himself in the plague through hollering about not being allowed to sing in church.
“This is not the hour to cower,” he posted. “This is not the hour to bow down to the mob. No, we need to rise up. And so tonight, we are going to gather. The show's going on, baby!"
The small town of Shubenacadie — the home of Shubenacadie Sam, Canada’s statistically more reliable answer to Punxsutawney Phil — is actually a more obvious choice for a gathering of wingnuts as the name comes from the Mi’kmak word Sipekne'katik, meaning “place abounding in nuts.” The town is also accustomed to welcoming bores through daily incoming tidal bores from the Bay of Fundy up the otherwise placid Shubenacadie River, a phenomenon my father and I found out about the hard way on a cross-province canoe trip when I was a teenager.
But while the show still went on in a less spectacular setting on private land, the dates after bidding farewell to Nova Scotia aren’t seemingly being blessed from above either. Permits for other picturesque public locales in Charlottetown, Moncton, Gatineau, Quebec City, and at last count a church in downtown Montreal have since been yanked over protest concerns and general Canadian reluctance to hosting the barbarians inside the gate at this moment in history. Let alone have to foot the bill for it or provide them footage to use against us showing how mean Canadians are to good Christian soldiers.
As Ricky from the province’s famous Sunnyvale Trailer Park once said: It’s time to make like a tree and fuck off.
“Freedom of expression is one of our fundamental values, but hateful and discriminatory speech is not accepted in Montreal and, as in other Canadian cities, the show will not be tolerated,” Montreal mayor spox Catherine Cadotte told CBC News, which tried tracking Fuecht down for comment but were told he is too busy trying to find alternative venues for an interview. Maybe Fox News will have better luck reaching him. But at least we don’t have to worry about Leonard Cohen rolling in his grave through “Hallelujah” being butchered in his home town by this frickin guy:
The manic tweet preacher since testified on X about the very different reception he’s getting compared to the one Americans got in the musical Come From Away:
Here's the hard truth: If I had shown up with purple hair and a dress, claiming to be a woman, the government wouldn't have said a thing. But to publicly profess deeply held Christian beliefs is to be labelled an extremist and to have free worship events classified as “public safety risks.”
That truly is a hard truth to accept but he might actually be on to something as a suspicious number of other musicians with devoted followers such as Megan Thee Stallion, Cardi B, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry — all of them women known for occasionally wearing purple hair and dresses — have put on wildly successful concerts in Canada with nary a peep from government officials. Elton John never had a problem either even before being knighted. I’m just asking questions.
With any luck he’ll try out this theory to keep upcoming western shows from meeting the same fate. His Dee Snider ‘do would look fantastic with a mauve tint and he could maybe try baby steps starting with a kilt. Surely nobody at any prairie stops would have a problem with it so long as there’s a cowboy hat involved.
[CBC / Rolling Stone / Flamy Grant / Bluesky Wonkette]
Went outside for my evening walk and a young lady with pink hair had a tiny dog, asking if I knew who it belonged to. The tiny dog had a collar but no tags. Then pink haired girl and I tried knocking on a couple doors nearby, no answer. Some other people showed up, they gave the dog water. We decided the dog was lost as no one had shown up looking for a dog. Poor baby needed to be checked for a microchip. Pink haired chick said she could take care of it. The dog was elderly, I carried her around a bit. I hope she finds her family, whether it is the one who lost her or a new one. I may never know what happened to the tiny dog, but it is possible I will see pink haired girl again and can ask.
Nature break:
Seen on today’s scooter travels, a deer family with 4 young ones. And a noisy blue jay(what other kind of blue jay is there?)
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