Canadian Senator Ted Cruz Cordially Invites President Of United States To Stay Out Of Texas

Just hours before President Barack Obama was scheduled to speak in Dallas in support of the Affordable Care Act, Sen. Ted Cruz presumed to speak for the entire state, telling the President that Texas did not want him, in clear contradiction of the simple truth proclaimed by the above Lyle Lovett song. It is not known whether Mr. Lovett intends to pursue a libel suit, or to just continue wearing the natty grey number in the video.

After nine whole months of representing/embarrassing the state in the U.S. Senate, Cruz released a statement telling the President of the United States that

“President Obama should take his broken promises tour elsewhere so Texans can continue focusing on the solutions that have allowed our state to become and remain the nation’s economic and job creation powerhouse[.]”

The statement didn't explain how consistently having the nation's highest rate of citizens without health insurance was a "solution," exactly, but he sure felt tough barking at the big scary socialist, who was so frightened by Cruz that he flew back to Washington after pointing out that the ACA was very much going forward despite "at least one senator from Texas" who tried to kill it by shutting down the government.

Sen. Cruz then congratulated himself on a job well done, and endorsed a few more checks from Koch industries while somewhere in Houston, an uninsured family weighed whether to pay for their kid's asthma inhaler or rent.

[ Business Insider / Politico ]