Carly Fiorina Hiring Staff For Pretend Presidential Campaign Cosplay

So it looks more and more as if this could really happen. As if the primaries for the 2016 GOP presidential nomination were not already going to be hilarious enough, chances continue to increase that they will include one-time Barbara Boxer chew toy Carly Fiorina. Get ready for Demon Sheep II: Return of Demon Sheep! [contextly_sidebar id="hD2klsAyKMTo02ZGAR0KzBklFpoRQhmM"]

Carly Fiorina is laying the groundwork for what one ally says is an "imminent" presidential campaign—one that could launch as early as next month. […]

According to three sources with direct knowledge of the situation, she has authorized members of her inner circle to seek out and interview candidates for two key positions on her presidential campaign: political director and communications director.

Oh God yes please. Carly Fiorina, the woman who pissed off most of the technology sector while nearly running Hewlett-Packard into the ground. Carly Fiorina, who served as an adviser to John McCain’s trainwreck of a presidential campaign in 2008. Carly Fiorina, who got stomped by 10 points in her own Senate bid in 2010, and it might have only been that close because it was a wave year for GOP candidates. Carly Fiorina, whose most notable achievement – and we use that word very loosely – in politics has been a campaign commercial starring a furry. [contextly_sidebar id="yxWFxdIa7NJdfUtki1BGGwXktT2CAtzE"]

Carly Fiorina couldn’t successfully run a falafel cart in Cairo. She couldn’t successfully manage a Szechuan Gardens in Beijing. Carly Fiorina sucks, is what we’re saying.

Not that it matters, since half the candidates in the GOP primary are grifters trying to sell books. (Hi, Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich.) Fiorina might have her sights set a little higher. Or lower, depending on your point of view.

"I don't think Carly's running for president. I think Carly's running for vice president," said Roe, the California Republican. "If Hillary Clinton's the nominee, Republicans need a woman front and center—probably on the ticket. And Carly knows that."

Ah, blatant tokenism, which for conservatives trumps experience, competence and charisma every time. Bring on the campaign. The people must have their demon sheep.

[ National Journal ]