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author

Kitty! The elephant kind.

https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/klutzy-calf

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I think the ducks were having a good time too.

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Those are actually guinea fowl. We had a flock of them for a while, really fun but incredibly noisy.

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The ducks were providing a demonstration of cavalry tactics against elephants.

"Formation wheel right and...BREAK! Down he goes."

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author

I love this gif!

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

That toddler with a trunk chasing those pretty boids is just THE cutest damned thing that I've seen in quite some time!

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indeed. so needed it today. Thank you wonkette writer peeps

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

I love how mama sees the little one fall and turns and lifts her trunk in preparation for comforting

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

Gives me ALL the feels!

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

Simply delightful.

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May 22·edited May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

O. M. G. Dead. Dead with squee. With squee I am dead.

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

I think that babby elephant was a Border Collie in a previous life. LOL

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

A little more work on the turn radius....

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

"I shot an elephant in my pajamas, last night."

"Was he an African elephant or an Indian elephant?"

"Couldn't tell, he was wearing a nightcap."

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How can you tell an elephant is sleeping in your bed?

By the 'E' monogram on his pyjamas

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A nightcap? 𝘎𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 idea! Bourbon?"

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author

By "shot" I hope you meant photographically! Also, you'll never wear those PJ bottoms again--all stretched out.

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

Vaccine?

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

Babby elephants are ridiculously adorable :)

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But they're not furry - they look furry but its like wire. This has been brought to you by 5 year old me who found that out!

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Elephant hair bracelets were all the rage when I was a Young :)

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

Nobody posted this clip yet?

Baby elephant walk from "Hatari!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRQ7Aej7PQk

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Look way below for your Henry Mancini.

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If it was here I must've missed it, because there were only about 30 comments total when I posted and I didn't see it in any of them.

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

Baby elephant herder, what a cheerful piece of film to start the day!

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May 22Liked by Martini Glambassador

Where did you get video of me trying to get a photo of a bird -

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Re: Safari Park in Kent - yeah - England.

Perfectly reasonable explanation... back in the good old days, (of the British Empire), we 'invented' Safari Parks. One was called Africa and the other was called India. [We didn't count Australia as a Safari Park - as they don't have proper animals.] But we saw the error of our ways - only the aristocracy, (and soldiers), could visit them. So we scrapped the Empire thing and brought all their animals back to England - along with any treasures that we could lay our hands on. Thereby, giving everyone in good old Blighty the opportunity of seeing those majestic creatures in their natural habitat - Kent.

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College Protests Update, Cal-Poly Humboldt Edition: So, as most of you probably know, CPH had a little sit-in that snowballed into an occupation after admin decided that students in the admin building was The Worst Thing Ever To Happen. After all the rogue students and journalists were eventually hauled off and expelled and properly punished for it all, and graduation was canceled, then un-canceled but scaled back, everything has settled back to the new normal. The new normal is that all buildings but the administration building, the library, the two food service locations, and the activity center will remain locked down (and maybe the health center?). Students and faculty will be issued electronic key cards, and will have access during certain hours to buildings where they are registered for classes. If you forget your key card, or you are collaborating with someone in a building where you do not have access, fuck you. And the administration would like you to know that this was planned for your convenience, had nothing to do with the protests or the community outcry or the international news coverage that made them look like reactionary assholes, but just a plan that they have been working on for a long time and finally found the time to implement. Thank you for listening.

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As a soon-to-be-former CSU employee, I can tell you they were likely not lying about it being a plan they'd been wanting to implement. In fact, I'm impressed by their honesty there. "Never let a good crisis go to waste" has been the CSU policy since well, as long as I can remember, but def 2020. Don't be surprised if (most of) the campus gets shut down within 5 years. Y'all are hella short on students (like we are in Hayward as well) and most certainly on the chopping block.

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Big Brother just got bigger.

And a great way to see if you're skipping class...or what mischief you are up too.

Next will be user fees on top of regular tuition...

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Since the key cards aren’t cheap, I’m sure there will be a fee for them, plus a fee when you inevitably lose your card, but hopefully not a programming fee for when a card gets deactivated accidentally. And since both students and faculty will occasionally find themselves locked out unexpectedly, every professor will have to have to make sure their syllabi address this in regard to late papers, tests, etc..

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“I’m sorry that a newsletter I like linked to this story with ‘say what you will about Biden.’ Why? Why ‘say what you will’ when the opposite is WE ALL DIE IN CLIMATE FIRE. That was a pussy move, newsletter I like…”

…Oh, I don’t know. More and more, it looks like the Biden policy vis-a-vis Israel, Gaza, the West Bank and Iran is for us all to cool the earth in a Nuclear Winter.

Also this: maybe the US ought not prop up Netanyahu before the ICC, and instead support his arrest ALONG WITH (as it is) the arrest of the leaders of Hamas.

Or this: maybe the US ought not threaten to defund the World Food Program if the UN ratifies Palestinian statehood.

The fucking goddam US, again. I’m ashamed to be caught in this evil empire with no where else I can practicably go.

I bitterly resent having only a choice this November between a genocidal Zionist and a crazed neo-Fascist.

I bitterly resent having only a choice this November between de facto fascism-lite and forthright, full-scale fascism de jure.

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Here's an idea:

Move. I'm sure there's some place, somewhere on this entire fucking planet that fits all your needs. Every. Single. Fucking. One.

Or stay here and vote. Vote for the man who won't promise to be a dictator. Vote for the man who isn't boasting about rape. Vote for the man who won't take your house/apartment away so he and his ilk get tremendous tax cuts while your grandmother's Medicare and SS are drastically cut. And vote for the man who didn't destroy Roe v Wade, trying to please his moronic, KKKristian supporters, by annihilating a law that gave women the right to choose what goes on in their own fucking body.

It's not all about you, sunshine. No candidate is perfect, so stop your entitled bullshit and realize your whining makes you look uninformed, self-absorbed, and rather fucking foolish. Putz.

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What part of what I said suggested that ‘it is all about me?’

What part of what I said suggested I favor voting for Trump?

Are you this poisonously insulting in person when engaged in an earnest discussions about tragic choice?

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Just to be very, very clear, yet again: I see our choice as one between institutional de facto fascism lite [Biden and The Democrats (TM)], and full scale Fascism de jure [Trump and MAGA]. So, of course I am going to vote for the former in hope that doing so buys time for change.

Please pay the fuck attention to what is written before flying off the handle.

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Everything is all about you. You even answered your own post. You just proved it. Putz

Look, I didn't fly off the handle. I pointed out that you're one of those entitled no-nothings. You think the world is just DYING to hear your opinion.

No one cares. Absolutely no one. You're uninformed, you're egotistical, and you're simply foolish. I doubt anyone in your real life takes you seriously

So here you go: I marched for civil rights. I marched for women's rights. I marched for the right for everyone, including you, to vote. I'm older than dirt, and I'll march again.

So you sit there, on your phone/laptop/computer, being ignorant and uninformed, hiding behind a screen, while the rest of us protect you.

Putz.

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excellent use of 'putz'.

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In all your name-calling you certainly assume a lot about who I am, my age, and what I’ve done or not done, and the quality of my convictions.

Great internet work, there. I can see that even with your long experience, you’ve picked up internet manners quite well, along with the online tendency to jump to conclusions.

I’m not sure congratulations are in order, though.

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I honestly don't care what you think. You're under the mistaken impression anyone does. Just like no one cares what I think.

I'll give you credit for this:

You're smug, condescending, and uninformed. You don't actually believe what you say about President Biden, but you pretend because something in your mind told you to be "different". Buck the system. People will look up to you because of it.

They won't. You're in a tiny majority of entitled (pardon the term) Karens who think the entire world owes them a favor because their parents refused to admit their children were merely adequate.

I know your ilk. I'm surrounded by them. It's always about you. And someday, you're going to realize you're not very important. And you made a mistake or two or many. And maybe you weren't as relevant as you seem to think you are now. I won't be around for that realization, but when it happens, I hope you think of me.

Best of luck to you. You're going to need it soon.

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author

shut the fuck up, he is not a fascist.

Jesus Christ get over yourself.

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Who?

Trump?

Biden?

Is this comment for me?

(I’d look back in the thread, but Substack on mobile makes it devilishly hard to scroll and scroll to do that.)

Please offer more. I may deserve your insults, but as things stand now, I don’t know if I do.

(Maybe it’s a response, come to think of it, to some of the things I’ve said about our choice being between de facto fascism-lite and full-scale fascism de jure. If that’s the case, I’d like to direct your attention to the increasingly corrupt oligarchical system which more and more rules our lives. Whether or not Biden buys into that or not is up to you to decide. My remarks in this matter are not directly aimed at Biden the office-holder, or even Biden the person.)

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Maybe you ought to re-read what I wrote more carefully. It’s in there, clearly implied: I rather loathe Biden the more I learn of him and his history, but the goals of Trump and MAGA are terrifying.

What part of “crazed neo-fascist” (characterizing Trump) was confusing?

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You keep answering yourself.

It's laughable and pathetic.

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What the fuck is wrong with you, my fellow Americans? The President who is trying to not make us all die faster of climate fuckery is polling so closely with the former guy who wants us all to die faster, suggested drinking bleach and shoving a UV light up your ass to combat viruses, wants to establish a fourth Reich, did his best to eliminate taxes for the wealthy, and appears to want to do the same to contraceptives that he did to abortion rights? What? The? Fuck?

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May 22Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

A story about Portland, Oregon, Rebecca? Come on now, everyone knows that Portland was burnt to the ground during the BLM protests. And so was every other city that had protests. You are such a kidder.

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It is amazing just how willfully ignorant the willfully ignorant are.

I'm surprised that they don't deny gravity.

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Deny gravity? Well, it's only a theory.

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Yes, but it was great for all the phoenixes in Portland.

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We've been living in post-apocolyptic rubble for years now!

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May 22Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Fucking Israel is tanking Pres. Biden's chances of re-election. I'm not saying Israel didn't have a right to respond to Hamas' terrorism but at some point that respond morphed into ethnic cleansing.

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author

they absolutely had a right to respond. they did war crimes instead.

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😿😿😿😿😿

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May 22Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

"I don’t understand. There’s a safari park in Kent? Kent, England?"

Knuthenborg, Denmark says "Hold my beer".

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Better than a safari park in Kent Ohio.

On a same note, there used to be a Sea World in Geauga, Ohio which is some distance from any Sea, hell it's not even on Lake Erie.

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Tradcath? I am unfamiliar with that term. Am I old? (Yes).

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author

the weirdo rightwing Catholics.

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Good dyslexic doG. Sadly I guess I need to learn something new as I have no idea about this.

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Back to the Latin Mass!

Because talking to God in anything but his first language is rude.

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Ooooh. That makes sense. The name. Not the nutters who want to bring back Latin mass.

𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝐺𝑜𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑢𝑑𝑒.

Won't they be surprised when they finally meet God and he starts yelling at them in Aramaic.

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Yiddish you mean!

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The only reason I want to go to the Vatican is to confirm that Latin really is an option on their ATMs.

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PAB's contraception plan: swallow.

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The new advertising plan should work well to prevent conception. And fucking. He's sticking Jr's face on posters for every bedroom.

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May 22Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

There is also a Safari museum in Chanute Kansas. Yes Chanute Kansas. Home of the ubiquitous Kustom Amp of the 60's.

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May 22Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Speaking as a naturalized citizen (naturalized by my adoptive parents at 5, currently 70), Stephen Miller needs to be deported for being literally an alien entity.

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Deported to where? He's a US citizen. He could self-deport.

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Mars? Actually, his grandparents emigrated here from Belarus. I understand he's floated the idea of sending people back to their "homeland", so I say send him to Belarus.

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Isn't the contraception business a BIG industry? Won't they be pretty upset if Republicans really try to touch it? We know they don't care about people, but they sure do care about money.

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Yeah they might be banned, but the profits from the black market would be terrific.

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Agriculture and steel or even bigger industries and they rolled over for Trump back in the day. There's something flexible in the mind of capitalists when it comes to tyrants.

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I can't believe PAB is doing Reich and deportations and trying to take away consequence-free nookie from the people and we're still getting "say what you will about Biden." Good lord, the left needs to do better.

Here's a funny/not funny example of Arab American leaders who are very mad at Biden so they sat down with Ric Grennell and asked if PAB would stop Israel from killing all the people in Rafah. Grennell repeated Jared's joke about beachfront property in Gaza, talked about how great the Abrahamic accords were (which arguably led directly to this current mess), and promised PAB probably wouldn't do mass deportations of Muslims. Not all the Arab American leaders present were convinced by Grennell. WHAT???!!! They should have run screaming. I don't fuckin get it.

https://www.notus.org/trump-2024/like-a-lead-balloon-trump-shadow-secretary-of-state-ric-grenell-meets-arab-american-leaders

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When I'm feeling extremely pis-, er, peeved off, I hope the people who are saying they can't vote for Pres. Biden because of Gaza or he hasn't spent enough time with Muslim or Arab leaders get a Trump presidency. I won't go as far as drinking their tears, but it would be sore tempting.

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Yeah but then the rest of us are damned with that too

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It really is hard to believe that people are as mindfuckingly stupid as they appear in our media.

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Yeah but Trump promised a big beautiful plan on contraception and all that in a week! You just wait.

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