For real-time information about the #WarOnChristmas, refer to the Wonkette war Twitter . Ex-PFC Wintergreen was cold. So cold. It seemed so easy to just drift off, but there was fucking Minderbinder screaming in his face, hoisting him over his shoulder, getting him the fuck out of there, man. He could only stare at Milo's lips, from which no sound issued. The smell of nutmeg had deafened him. He looked down. Where his legs should have been was instead a giant web of cotton candy. He fainted.
Speaking of candy cane injuries...my senior year of high school someone had the brilliant idea to sell penis-size candy cane sticks as a fund raiser, followed by another more brilliant idea to buy them as gifts for attractive girls, followed by an even more brilliant idea to encourage the girls to suck on the candy cane sticks in the presence of teenage boys and pervy male teachers.
5-year-old self: Well, there's .... 59-year-old-self: No, you can't make me say that! The shame ... 5-year-old: Aw, come on ... Both: There's the National Elf Service!
And treated for *non life-threatening wounds*. C'mon, just a little friendly warning for tresp... I can't do this any more. It's my belief that the NRA was the target of a very successful deep cover infiltration in the 60's or 70's. The object was simple: adopt positions so bizarre that the people would gag, and be more receptive to a few mild gun control measures. The perpetrators were horrified to discover that they couldn't say anything sufficiently batshit that their members wouldn't lap it up. They've been cranking it up ever since, way past 11, and it still doesn't work. May God have mercy on their souls.
During this time of #waronchristmas, we must remember our patriotic duty to shop. As Dubya Bush put it:<blockquote> We cannot let [them] achieve the objective of frightening our nation to the point where we don&rsquo;t &mdash; where we don&rsquo;t conduct business, where people don&rsquo;t shop.</blockquote>
I like Xmas for the pressies. I like Easter for the chocolate eggs, and I like St. Swithin&rsquo;s day for the look of total incomprehension on people&rsquo;s faces when I say what day it is.
So that explains why Hillary Clinton showed up at our house in a heavily-armed diplomatic convoy. We gave her a cup of hot chocolate and a pint of bourbon, which seemed to satisfy her, but I was concerned that we were missing something.
i was thinking about going for a classic war-y wilfred owen reference.
then i reread him.
can&#039;t do it.
though it&#039;s not a bad way to end thanksgiving weekend.
What? Nobody referenced <a href="http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch\?v=g0QVJOEwXac" target="_blank">The Night the Reindeer Died</a>???
<a href="http:\/\/qfxblog.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/o-brother-where-art-thou.jpg" target="_blank">This</a> springs to mind.
Speaking of candy cane injuries...my senior year of high school someone had the brilliant idea to sell penis-size candy cane sticks as a fund raiser, followed by another more brilliant idea to buy them as gifts for attractive girls, followed by an even more brilliant idea to encourage the girls to suck on the candy cane sticks in the presence of teenage boys and pervy male teachers.
I expected more resistance, but those kids armed with Red Rider BB Guns just shot their own eyes out.
<a href="http:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/tvshowbiz\/article-2237668\/Dallas-star-Larry-Hagman-dies-aged-81-battle-cancer.html" target="_blank">An unintended casualty.</a>
5-year-old self: Well, there&#039;s .... 59-year-old-self: No, you can&#039;t make me say that! The shame ... 5-year-old: Aw, come on ... Both: There&#039;s the National Elf Service!
And treated for *non life-threatening wounds*. C&#039;mon, just a little friendly warning for tresp... I can&#039;t do this any more. It&#039;s my belief that the NRA was the target of a very successful deep cover infiltration in the 60&#039;s or 70&#039;s. The object was simple: adopt positions so bizarre that the people would gag, and be more receptive to a few mild gun control measures. The perpetrators were horrified to discover that they couldn&#039;t say anything sufficiently batshit that their members wouldn&#039;t lap it up. They&#039;ve been cranking it up ever since, way past 11, and it still doesn&#039;t work. May God have mercy on their souls.
So what the fuck I am going to do with my 3 french hens and 2 turtledoves?
OT: The Republicans are starting to realize Grover Norquist policy is full of shit <a href="http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2012\/11\/20\/us\/politics\/grover-norquist-author-of-antitax-pledge-faces-big-test.html\?pagewanted=all&amp\;_r=0" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/20/us/politics/gro...">http://www.nytimes.com/2012...
During this time of #waronchristmas, we must remember our patriotic duty to shop. As Dubya Bush put it:<blockquote> We cannot let [them] achieve the objective of frightening our nation to the point where we don&rsquo;t &mdash; where we don&rsquo;t conduct business, where people don&rsquo;t shop.</blockquote>
Comrade Grassley? I always thought the Hayseed Dullard bit was just a ruse for the Iowa Senator. No one could be THAT idiotically boring.
Merry Saturnalia, Charlie Brown!!!!
I like Xmas for the pressies. I like Easter for the chocolate eggs, and I like St. Swithin&rsquo;s day for the look of total incomprehension on people&rsquo;s faces when I say what day it is.
<i>The War on Christmas was not spurred by any one event </i>
Maybe not for you, but receiving a catalogue for &quot;Last minute gift ideas&quot; right after Labor Day had a lot to do with it for me.
So that explains why Hillary Clinton showed up at our house in a heavily-armed diplomatic convoy. We gave her a cup of hot chocolate and a pint of bourbon, which seemed to satisfy her, but I was concerned that we were missing something.
Advent doesn&#039;t start until December 2nd. I&#039;m not sure what this war is about.