865 Comments
author

Here is your source info for today's gif: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/cats-for-kamala

And the meme chat for the day: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/bd12ca3d-1a6a-455d-af14-f8ba566e2a64

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Some of your best work, Martini!

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That was a good one! Two thumbs up!

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

really like.

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

Jonesy and her human are on Team Kamala! Blast the PAB out of the airlock!

https://substack.com/@ciaobella2/note/c-64030958?r=udbmd&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

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author

Two thumbs up for this gif Martini!

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I feel seen.

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

Cat the Ripper says to vote for Kamala or he is going to sneak up on you and bite you.

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And he is going to sneak up on you and bite you.

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And if you put up a Convicted Felon PAB sign he will wait until you are right at the top of the stairs.

And people wonder why I live in a one story home.

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That's how they get U. With your pants down

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Bittey.

Cats.

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

The Republicans are walking into an electoral cataclysm, the surface of which has not yet even been scratched. Your gif should give them pause.

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I see what you've done here. And I heartily approve! Absolutely perfect.

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Not only should it be cataclysmic; it should also be biblical. Fire needs to rain down upon them for at least a century.

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I've seen fire,

and I've seen rain,

I've seen times when I did not have a friend ,

but I always wanted to see you again.

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Yay, early James Taylor!

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Mexico!

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I absolutely think that just having- Up Front any- the lyrics of (anybody we could relate to),

could settti us ALL down.

But we don't have the time , to learn, to be people

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They are going to have their dishonorable asses handed back to them on dented tin platters.

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author

*smiles like the Cheshire Cat*

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

"Most everyone's mad here. You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself."

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Aug 5·edited Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

Yeah? Well I got a cat gif for ya here!

https://sadanduseless.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/cats-in-space7.webp

/hides in shame

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author

Hot dog--Mitt's favorite meat!

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

The hot dog really makes it!

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

The expressiveness and communication that cats are capable of...

Never fails to delight

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Humans are kinda dense. Cats needed to learn to be expressive to make sure their wishes are understood.

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Kinda? I speak as a human person

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founding
Aug 5·edited Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

The LOA would hereby (which makes it cool and legal) like it to be known that cats aren't the only ones with fur in the game. She will soon be launching 'Lurchers against Lunatics'. Just as soon as she wakes up from her post-walk nap.

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

Martini, I and my friends at the Antifa Cat Brigade News heartily applaud this tabs gif!!! 😄😻❤️

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author

I have to tell you, I was thinking of your (and your brigade's) reaction when I posted it.

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

JD Vance sure gave us a boost with his cat lady hatred. 😄

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And that's why JD Vance needs a kick in the pants.

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Or a paw to the face! 🐾😾

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With dagger-sharp claws!

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Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

Cats are cool for Kamala, and we are cool for cats.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ2cEc_TCH8

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My 42-year-old ass learned about this song from a 25-year-old co-worker. Crazy how the world works! (I'd heard of the Squeeze before, but only via "Pulling Mussels from the Shell" as an alt-rock radio flashback).

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What a great fucking song!

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author
Aug 5Liked by Martini Glambassador

Seems like yesterday and last century.

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As I was searching for the video, I landed on the Wikipedia page, which sayeth thus: "The song features a rare lead vocal performance from cockney-accented Squeeze lyricist Chris Difford..." which I did know. Then I found the "official video", which I did NOT know would feature Difford playing guitar whilst standing at the microphone. I seem to recall him sitting on a stool most other times.

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Squeeeeeeeeeze!!

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The more I hear about Shapiro the more I dislike him. Picking him would be as bad for Harris as Trump picking Vance.

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Hurricane Debby, huh? We going to see a Hurricane Karen this year?

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author

NYC mass transit alert, delays because they do not have enough bus drivers. A 10 minute wait is now 45-60 minutes. I have 13 blocks to walk which is usually no problem but it has been so damn hot I have been taking the bus. Looks like I'm walking today, it's 93* heat index, better than last week, but still fucking hot.

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Possibly my fave glambassador gif of alllll tiiiiime!!!! At work trying to not scream-laugh! Smear campaign kitteh is giving me life!!!

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So lit, my jjeberss phone is acting weird, cau

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Pantaloons!

https://substack.com/@zorpern/note/c-64463409

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Do we allow pantaloons on Wonkette?

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I have no control over birbs- which aren't real.

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Aug 5·edited Aug 5

Also, by the way, one goal of Project 2025 is to break up NOAA and ban the government from giving you free information about “the weather.”

I'm so old I remember when some critics panned "Don't Look Up" because its premise - politically motivated/techno-bro enabled ignoring of impending global catastrophe - was "too ridiculous."

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I think it was supposed to be one of them metafers.

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founding

I thought it was dead-on accurate. Meryl Streep's President was a typical Republican, making everything political and ignoring reality as much as possible. And dumb as a stump.

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One of my favorite scenes is Leo DiCaprio trying to figure out how to discreetly freak-out when she lights up in front of the big tank with the Flammable sign on it.

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founding

Brilliant of them to include a large segment of the population that refuses to believe that the impending cataclysm is real, insisting that is all a hoax perpetrated by the government to control the people.

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"They want you to look up so they can look down on you. Don't look up!"

Top-level Chumpian.

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I remember the good old days when Republicans just wanted to prevent NOAA from giving weather information way for free (so much better to pay a corporation for information we already bought with our taxes).

Now they don't even want NOAA to exist. Damn, GOP, just please, please wake the fuck up.

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founding

But then they'd be "woke", which is like unto being gay-married, unthinkable.

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That separation of church & state junk

𝐎𝐤𝐥𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚 𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐬

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑠𝑐ℎ𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑠 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑡 – 𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑛𝑜𝑤 – 𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑎 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡’𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟

In late June, Oklahoma’s Republican state education superintendent, Ryan Walters, ordered public schools in the state to immediately incorporate the Bible and the Ten Commandments into their curricula, following the passage that month of a law in Louisiana with a similar mandate – and which was quickly challenged on constitutional grounds.

Walters appeared a state education board meeting and called the Bible “one of the most foundational documents used for the constitution and the birth of our country”, though the US’s founders explicitly called for a substantial separation between church and state. And he said that the Bible was a “necessary historical document to teach our kids about the history of this country, to have a complete understanding of western civilization, to have an understanding of the basis of our legal system”.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/aug/05/oklahoma-bible-mandate

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The Tulsa NPR affiliate has the best headline, in regard to upcoming mayoral election, Housing, police and Ryan Walters: Mayoral candidates address key issues.

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Aug 5Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

I mostly get texts (a lot of texts) from ActBlue, but I do always check the link to make sure it's really from ActBlue. And politically I only give to them, Le Wonkette, and very occasionally MoveOn. Thanks for the reminder to be cautious, Becca, 'cause this is the age of the scam!

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Aug 5Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Also, by the way, one goal of Project 2025 is to break up NOAA and ban the government from giving you free information about 'the weather'.

So I guess that means we just sit and wait for the weather to happen like they did in the dark ages?

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That does seem to be the Age every Republican policy is aiming for.

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Aug 5Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Naw, you can be proactive: sacrificing virgins was a key tool in the arsenal.

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Which is why we've been forced to switch to nuclear devices.

Aren't too many virgins to be had when a Republican's in the area.

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Now that's funny!

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That way they can say it's God's anger!

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Republican God is like the anti-Mikey. He hates everything.

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At gay and trans people.

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Oh, hell, even back then people knew how to look for meteorological signs to get an idea of what the weather was going to do.

We'd better all sign up for Meteorology 101 at our local Community College.

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I grew up on a farm. High school and college science classes told me why it was reasonable to expect rain when the leaves turned over.

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My mother was Right!

Tx, I looked it up and learned about the humidity & the stems. Always learning on Wonkette!

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Aug 5Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Probably not a bad idea to lay in plenty of kindling and... stone knives (?) (unclear) for the witch-burning and chicken-sacrificing that will now be required to ward off the whirlwind.

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It's the natural way, as gawd intended.

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Again I say:

Project 2025 = Germany 1934

OR

Trump 2024 = Project 2025

Shout it from the rooftops! If you REALLY want to make a point, shout:

Trump 2024 = Project 2025 = Germany 1934

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I get about 5 texts/day from the type of cause I believe in but I reply "Stop" to each of them because I have no idea who is legit. I guess I'll give to the causes i determine are real. Any thoughts?

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Someone texted me last night and asked "Is this Olivia's phone number?"

Of course I blocked it but I did feel a little guilt because maybe Olivia has a stalker or some other kind of trouble looking for her.

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Same. Also block.

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Well this is stupid as fuck: I've been using Brave, the browser, for a few years now, and just entered a search for something from Shrek. Instead of getting search results, I was taken directly to some crappy Mass Effect Wiki page. So, want your browser to hijack your search? Just type "Pick me! Pick me!" into Brave, and it will encrapify your search by taking you to a Wiki rather than search results.

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Ecosia. They plant trees.

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Aug 5Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Chrome thinks my every search is, or should be, to buy something. The most scholarly searches yield, at the top of the page, "Shop Council of Nicea" or whatever, followed by page after page of images, because we should all be illiterate consumers by now, or else all that advertising has been for nought.

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So, for Brave, it turns out ending your search with “me!” (case-insensitive) means that you want a Mass Effect Wiki result. At least it isn’t selling me something?

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He puts the "fun" in fundy.

𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐬

𝐸𝑥-𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝐶ℎ𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝐾𝑎𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑎 𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑠’𝑠 𝑝𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑒

Since 2016, Trump has become an unlikely hero for Christian nationalists – a loose grouping of evangelical Christians who believe the US was founded as a Christian nation, and want to see Christianity feature prominently in American life and politics.

After a stumbling start – during his first run for president the thrice-married Trump struggled to name a single Bible verse, referred to the Eucharist as a “little cracker”, and put money in the communion plate during a church visit – the relationship was cemented when Trump-installed supreme court justices overturned Roe v Wade.

The bond between Trump and Christian nationalists has now deepened to the extent that Trump is comfortable with comparing himself with their messiah, while some on the religious right have come to believe that the one-term president has been chosen, or anointed, by God himself, especially after a recent failed assassination attempt at a rally in Pennsylvania.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/aug/05/trump-religious-extremism-rightwing-evangelicals

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Antichrist checklist: he is characterized by pride, envy, anger, lust, avarice, gluttony, and sloth; he worships golden images, uses the name of God vainly, disrespected both his parents, golfs every Sunday, was accomplice to brutal killings and boasts he could kill personally in plain sight and not lose any of his followers, has made a career of stealing from everyone who works with him, has committed adultery on every one of his wives, bears false witness every time he opens his mouth, moved on his neighbor's wife "like a bitch" and covets everything else that belongs to his neighbor; he opposes feeding the hungry, letting the thirsty have water, treating the sick, or especially welcoming the stranger, and he abused children, so that it would be better if a millstone were tied round his neck and he were cast into the sea.

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One of my favorites: He'd secretly record his "friends" in his office and steer the conversation toward what a bitch the guy's wife was. Then, he'd play the recording for the wife hoping for a shot at revenge sex.

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Yep, it's been reported he did that ALL the time.

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And people continued to associate with him.

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In Arnold voice from "True Lies") - Yeah, but they were all bad.

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This one is a little tricky and keep in mind - it is an attack line directed at "Christian fundamentalists/nationalists" - NOT at you so please keep any comments about the validity of religion to yourself, thanks.

You can use this on any "Christian fundamentalists/nationalists" that you encounter, and they aren't going to have a good answer for it (although they'll probably try to say Kamala Harris isn't REALLY a Christian):

Kamala Harris is a Christian who married a Jew. Upon that marriage, she did not abandon her Christianity; that is to say that she still believes in Jesus Christ as her savior even though her husband does not.

PAB has a daughter that he raised as a Christian who married a Jew, just like Kamala Harris did. But Ivanka DID convert to Judaism. She disavowed Jesus Christ, which is something that "Christian fundamentalists/nationalists" cannot deny.

So to summarize:

Kamala Harris married a Jewish man but kept her Christian faith.

PAB's daughter married a Jewish man but ditched her Christian faith.

If one is a real Christian, one must be more comfortable with Kamala Harris's record of faith than that of PAB and his family's. I know it's "person" vs. "family" but it doesn't reflect well on PAB when discussing Christanity/faith.

(NOTE: Kamala Harris's STEP-children were born into a Jewish family and are Jewish)

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I can't wait for the side-by-side memes of Melania's and Doug's Christmas decorations.

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It's been said that VP Harris is raising so much money that Melania wants to marry her!

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Aug 5Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf

He the Golden Calf.

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You look at Donald Trump, and you say to yourself, who better than a crooked real estate tycoon from Queens, who likes to play golf, raw dog porn stars, and hobnob with dictators, to be the next messiah?

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Look what they did to the last one. These Christianists aren't going to make that mistake again.

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Always remember - the QAnon Cretins have referred to him as "GEOTUS" since 2017.

GEOTUS stands for God Emperor Of The United States.

They really mean that, too. They worship this guy and if he gets back in office, they WILL resort to any measure they think necessary to keep him and anyone he appoints to follow him in office in perpetuity.

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And rape people.

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Because of course Pabs wants the weird christains.

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