Cellphone Shaman Will Help GOP Candidate Become Governor

Hawaii's Republican gubernatorial candidate, James "Duke" Aiona, has a lot going for him: a cool nickname, cool hair, good looks, and years of experience as Hawaii's lieutenant governor on his resume. But his biggest advantage against ... whoever he's running against is that he's got a special preacher friend who can heal and anoint people, and cast out demons from their souls, using nothing more than ordinary hand-held electronic devices. God's blessing is just a phone call away!

This YouTube video is way too long and confusing, and even insufferable in places (why is that lady screaming about gold and silver -- is she a Paultard?). But if you make it to 6: 30, you can watch pious-looking people touching Aiona and praying for him, to protect him from Democrats. And if you are truly hearty and make it/fast-forward to 9:30, you can catch Aiona's preacher pal Ed Silvoso, of the International Transformation Network, giving a lecture about how it's possible to fill up a smart phone with virtue and "impregnate" common text messages with the powers of healing and deliverance:

So, is it true, then, that you just fax some "virtue" over to your friend who has the flu and heal them? Not quite! Yes, it is disappointing. A blogger at Talk to Action explains:

Ed Silvoso theologically justified the casting out of demons with iPhones and Blackberries by referring to a passage of the New Testament's Book of Acts in which the Apostle Paul is casting out demons and healing the sick, and Paul is apparently so imbued with divine virtue that some of it seeps into his handkerchief, imbuing it and making it holy so Paul's handkerchief can cast out demons and heal the sick too!

Nevertheless, Aiona seems so impressed by Silvoso's seeping virtues that he maybe violates ethics rules just so they can hang out more often. Maybe Aiona is addicted to virtue! But this will make him a better governor.

Oh, and did you know that Silvoso has a Facebook page ? You should become his fan and see if your health suddenly improves. [ Talk 2 Action / KITV.com ]