23 Comments
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SullivanSt's avatar

Seems more like "Weeds" territory.

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Chris Grrr's avatar

XXXX-Long.

Something tasteful that goes with the woodland colors.

And no zippers - that would just be cruel.

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๐”…๐”ข๐”ข๐”ฉ๐”ท๐”ข๐”Ÿ๐”ฒ๐”Ÿ๐”Ÿ๐”ž's avatar

Rainbow vomit -- that's taking the blingee to a whole new level.

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Spurning Beer's avatar

There is only one correct answer to the question how they knew she was an exotic dancer: the shoes. In a burqa, a parka, a wet suit, or a Snuggie, there's no disguising the shoes.

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SullivanSt's avatar

<blockquote>Investigators were greeted by a 41-year-old man who lives at the home. </blockquote>

This was much funnier when I first read it and missed the "the" entirely, bringing to mind this year's <a href="http:\/\/www.rottentomatoes.com\/m\/jeff_who_lives_at_home\/" target="_blank">Jason Segel vehicle</a>, which also involved pot, but no alligators as far as I can recall.

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

What vintage?

<i>Château Soirée 1990</i>

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Dashboard Buddha's avatar

They recognized the pole. They knew it from previous...investigations.

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fuflans's avatar

this story made me tear up.

it's just so perfect. and it's been so long.

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TundraGrifter's avatar

Sounds more like Tim Dorsey than Carl Hiaasen.

Although with the alligators there's definately a "Miami Vice" touch, as well...

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Dashboard Buddha's avatar

Two alligators, a pole dancer and a pot plant walk into a bar...

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Lot_49's avatar

Nobody dead? Sorry, WA, you've got a way to go to catch up with the stand-your-ground, open-carry, no-permit states.

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Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

I love a happy ending. Was this a happy ending?

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PubOption's avatar

Via Nostrildamus, has a Wonkette writer actually looked at the tips?

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Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Firemen wearing tassels over their nipples is pretty exotic, when you think about it.

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TundraGrifter's avatar

When we saw him with the late, great Solomon Burke, Keb' Mo' played his song "Government Cheese."

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๐”…๐”ข๐”ข๐”ฉ๐”ท๐”ข๐”Ÿ๐”ฒ๐”Ÿ๐”Ÿ๐”ž's avatar

My browser is supposed to color up the linkie things, but somehow the IT genii managed to prevent it. That takes mad skillz.

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